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" ~ Milk ~ "




So perhaps a little indulgent semi-stream of consciousness ... one of the destroyed words of modern life is "iconic". Once something becomes at all well known, someone wants to pumpersticker "iconic" on top of it, yunno, like Kim Kardashian's ass could ever be "iconic". Iconic is many things, but mostly something small and dense in concept that stands for something approaching universality. Opposed to this is the fact that each and every thing Kardashian is the fly sitting on top of the shit left behind some rotten celebrity carriage. The spirit requires a much higher standard of greatness. In some sense, The Beatles were too large to be iconic. But oddly, one of the truly rare iconic things today is Paul's left handed Hofner bass ... you see that and a Niagra's waterfall of images, sounds and experiences come upon you. That is something actually iconic.

Highly symbolic is a good second. And second should not be overlooked, just as The Stones are second to you know who. So, there is this woman in the universe named Angie Harmon, perhaps you've heard of her. Search for images of her with "Allure" in the search string and what you'll come back with is a picture of ... wait for it ... a mother of two. So there is Angie Harmon, natural non-overstylized woman ... a former prosecutor (Law and Order) ... married to a former NFL great (search engine) ... quietly working in her 4th TV series. And if you look recently, she's doing a commercial for ... her own perfume line? A set of fitness nutritionals? Some skanky reality show? None of those, but would you believe ... milk!? Yup. Milk, nothing more, nothing less. Former prosecutor, football wife, model, actress, in jeans and a sweatshirt going to the refrigerator and pulling out a gallon of milk to drink. That's all there is to the ad: a mom opening the refrigerator. And she's doing it all for her , because will drink milk if adults do.

{ Silence. }

Milk.
Pour one more.

tgd

tgd

Recorded at the height of his post-Beatle powers, Venus and Mars should be made familiar with by all music lovers as it sets Paul's talents and habits in still life.

Though Yoko must take much of the blame, The Beatles broke up because their core imploded. This implosion can be seen in the rough, painful documentary Let It Be. A brief summary is that following The White Album, the band was aimless. George was maharishi-ing out, and seemingly above all human endeavor (and the self-driven willfulness that requires). Listen to "I Me Mine" and you hear it. Ringo was having health problems. John was starting his addiction to heroin, barely able to be consciously present for more than 30 second bursts. There is a vivid moment of this in the film, when Paul and John are working on Paul's "I've Got A Feeling". With all this insanity and internalism going on around him, Paul - naturally - leaned in a different direction. It was, after all, his flirtations with the avante garde that brought us Pepper. Paul wanted to go out on the road. To be a real band. To Get Back to where you once belonged.

The other three went collectively "yeah, right", and the death spiral continued. Yes, Abbey Road followed these suicidal times, but by then everyone in the band knew it was their last album, and they decided without speaking to work together, have fun one last time, and make a great album.

The solo world opened. McCartney put out 4 uneven albums, until ... Band on The Run - an album recorded primarily in Lagos, Africa during the rainy season and in the midst of armed skirmishes and chaos. Just prior to leaving for Lagos, his guitar player and drummer but bug out, deserting him at the very brink of starting to record. Rather than cancelling, McCartney moved right on through this to produce a musical gem. Clearly, "the road" was inspiring, and Band on The Run is seen as the best post-Beatle Beatle album ever recorded. This heady success and critical acclaim brought Paul back to where he wanted to go: back on the road, to tour. He had righted himself. He now had 5 albums of material to do for a show. And he was always the most gifted performer of the group, so it was time. Having done most of the guitar work and all of the drumming on Band On The Run, he needed to fill out his band. And he needed to get to know them. And he needed to record an album the tour would synergize with.

This is Venus and Mars. It opens with the title track, a little acoustic number with electronic effects that tease the listener in 1975 (The Beatles had not performed live in the US since 1966) about a rock show. A rock show headed by ... a Beatle! "Sitting in the stands of the sports arena, waiting for the show to begin ... " No live Beatles for a decade, and he throws that at you. You are hooked. Hooked to quickly seque into a ... typical McCartney bass driven rock tune, about a rock show, called "Rock Show". And he lets you know he is still Paul McCartney. "Who's that man movin' cross the stage? He looks alot like that Jimmy Page. It's like a relic from a different age." Yeah, I'm Paul McCartney, and I can slap around Jimmy Page whenever I want to. The seque from Venus to Rock is orgasmic. Enough to fuel any album. But Paul isn't done being Paul, not by a long shot.

"Love In Song" follows, a typical sweet Paul love song tinged with his often overlooked background melancholy: "My eye cries (eyes) a tear ... still born ... misunderstanding ... Happiness in the homeland." Obviously, though all think Paul is blissful at home, he dreams about happiness in the homeland. Don't get too serious though, for a vanity piece quickly appears: "You Gave Me The Answer". Paul has an ear for musical style, and a great respect for the great dancer Fred Astaire. This song could drop into any Astaire movie. Going back through "Honey Pie" to "When I'm 64", we get a big band period piece, movie-musical style lovesong. Don't be too serious about my crying eyes, we'll still have fun.

And then we're off to one of his greatest, and most misunderstood and unappreciated, rock tunes he's done. A song about being seduced by evil, coming round to seeing the light provided by one's own love. Huh, sound like any dominating the world at 21 years of age personality we know? The song is "Magneto and Titanium Man". Back before Wolverine, Hugh Jackum and the X-Men franchise, Paul wrote a song about the evil Magneto and the powerful Titanium Man. Paul cooly before there is even . He plays the bass like a demon. And he sings. He sees his love and sees that "You were the law!". Note how he employs 5 different voices in this song. The melodics, the singing virtuosity, the incredible bass. It's truly a stunning song. And, oh yeah, he just happens to have at his side the best guitar player he has ever played on stage with (you can google him). So where there is time for a guitar solo ... wow. A great great tune where Paul is vanquished by his beauty and is set right. And what does she do? She gets down to business.

Which brings us to what prompted me to write this album review, for I know I haven't posted much ALT-like stuff lately. After bouncing around with Magneto, Paul sees the light goes right into "Letting Go", a slow blues number fuelled by a great guitar player. Listen to the words. (Spoiler alert! Stop here and listen to the song and come back. Find the album version first.) Ready? This is another overlooked song. After Paul has been saved from superhuman villians by the woman he loves, obviously, he would be a bit enraptured. And what does his victorious female do? He tells you all about it in Letting Go. She gets down and 69s him into utter torture. Yes, the song is about 69in'. "Ah ... she tastes like wine ... such a human being so divine ... " (what did she do for him in the last song?) "Ah ... she feels like sun ... mother nature look at what you've done" (you've saved me from supervillians, and now ... ?) "Oh!! I feel like letting go!" But he is somehow unable to. The bass is one relentless female body part working him over, the guitar another. Without a doubt, the best 69in' song ever written. And up until now, who knew? And perhaps not as obvious, clearly Linda had powers over Paul that extended beyond just being a kindred spirit and a great wife. "Oh! I feel like letting go." Was Linda relentless with her loving? Listen to the key change, and you tell me. And still he can't let go ...

And the song fades out with his superhuman babe getting down and working him over into unconsiousness. End of Side One (back when "albums" had two sides).

Mmmm ... 69in' ... ah, she tastes like wine ... such a human being so divine.

To Aphrodite, with bass playing that will make her sway and sway.

tgd

I stared out to the west, a casual view seen from the bar or my lifeguard's chair. But I stood in the sands, the ocean lapping at my ankles, the cool wind in my hair, the sun setting before me. And then ...

"Penny for your thoughts, " she said from behind me, wrapping her fiendish arms around my chest.

I laughed. "Sometime we need to talk about your entrances."

"Any time ... except this time. "

"Ok."

"Penny for your thoughts ... "

"Well, it's a very mortal, material subject ... a man's interest."

"On occasion, I have an interest in mortal men. "

I smiled. "Did you just whisper checkmate?"

"Did I need to? "

"Well, ok ... you wouldn't happen to ... well, seems silly to ask, but I will: you wouldn't happen to be ... a Jeep Girl, would you?"

And she was gone, my chest alone. But no - back! - in front of me, hunting.

"I love! Jeeps!!! ", she said, as she in one omnipotent motion lept and straddled and took me to the ground.

And I layed there, harmlessly in the sand, with her atop me.

"You do mean The Wrangler, don't you? "

I smiled again. "Yes, yes; of course I do. It's the only full blooded Jeep."

And she played with my hair. "You're such a good mortal. Now tell me something about Wranglers. " And she settled herself on top of me.

"Well ... the JK - "

"The -JK-, I like the -JK-. "

"Yes, vastly improved. So the JK came with a 3.8 litre V6. Nice little engine. Makes a buggy zoom."

"mmmmm ... zooming ... "

I rested my palms on her swaying cheeks. "So the 3.8 was good. But then this year they came out with a 3.6 - "

"Oh No! Those damn environmentalists! "

I patted her cheeks. "No, it's ok. But that's the whole thing that had me thinking. This year they came out with a 3.6, and I thought like you did: they gave it a snarky little wimpy engine. But no, the 3.6 has more power and gets better gas mileage and has less total block weight."

I didn't see it, but I felt her eye brow frown.

"Yeah. So, like - why didn't they just put that engine in the damn thing to begin with? Why even make the 3.8 when it is an obviously inferior engine?"

"Well, now you know why I spend so little time around you mortals."

And I just waited, my hands resting on her ass.

"Mankind can be so stupid."

"Well ... we did make The Jeep."

"And nearly killed it off over a dozen times! Square headlights? Really?" And her cheeks swayed indignantly with each word. "Square? Square headlights on a Jeep?! Really? That's the best you got? Square? Really? I can't tell you how many designers and managers and executive vice presidents I wanted to kill over that one. I even had a list. "

"I think my world would be a better place if you killed more people, more often."

"I know! "

"I'd drive you around to do it."

"In a -JK-! "

"Yes."

"Good! I'll have to work on that. Might be a lot to do, to set in motion ... but I found a driver and that's a start. "

A Waltz, A Counterpoint
An Intermezzo

Swarovski makes some wonderful products. If you'd like a little glimmer, check out their Bald Eagle made of nothing but glass (I'd give you a link, but they are not allowed ). For well over a year, I've fancied what they call their "Nirvana Rings". It's a ring, with a metal core, with cut glass shaped around the top 2/3s. The colors are vibrant. I've always thought, though - well not really definitively thought, more wondered or worried - that they were just a tad big for the feminine hand. Or maybe just a tad big for those semi-royal 17 course dinners I go to at Sir Paul McCartney's London flat. It just struck me as a non-universal ring. Or something. I definitely thought: You guys should make a smaller one. Yup. I thought that. Definitely. Anyway ... so what do I discover today but that they have just recently introduced the petite Nirvana ring which is ... wait for it ... the exact same style but on a smaller scale. Anticipation is pretty cool.

{ The ring above is the original. You can perform your own search for the petite, if you are so moved. }

{ And I in no way mean to disparage the original ring, if you own one, or soon will. }

To Aphrodite, in the key of C Major, for reed and pipe.

tgd