Twenty Years Of Kink
|
Posted:Oct 18, 2023 6:35 am
Last Updated:Oct 24, 2023 3:30 am 16908 Views
|
I don’t remember the day or even the month, but I remember the feeling vividly. I was wandering aimlessly, searching everything and nothing, and then of a sudden there it was. I couldn’t believe my eyes. The things they were saying were things I’d thought, things I wanted, things I was too embarrassed to admit to anyone. And here they were - men and women - talking about those feelings I had, one darker than the next, and giving it - of it - a name.
D/s.
Dominance and submission.
I started reading and couldn’t stop. I flitted from room to room, watching the conversations roll by, the experiences people shared with me, and other anonymous faces behind a screen. They were open honest and raw. I don’t know how much time passed before I took an effective breath, but with it came the realization I was not alone. I was not a freak. What I wanted - no, what I needed - was something other people wanted and needed, as well.
It was 20 years ago. Now I look back and cringe quite often, but I wouldn’t trade those years for anything. I have a lot of ‘If I knew then what I know now…’ moments, but I wouldn’t go back and do it again, because you have to go through it to learn it. You just do. Because your track is different than the next person’s, and to learn what you need to learn takes living it yourself.
So what do twenty years teach you? Here are some things I’ve learned:
*Not everyone likes the spotlight; it’s ok to live D/s very privately
*It’s okay to make things like rope bondage and tickling hard limits; it’s okay to make anything a hard limit
*Dominants can use a safe word or otherwise stop an activity
*You can be the one to walk away; you don’t have to be ‘released’ from shit
*Liars and cheaters will always lie and cheat
*Moving quickly rarely leads to longevity
*Your gut is never wrong; listen to it
*It’s ok to not look like a fetish model; most people don’t
*Sex can feel good even without having an orgasm
*Squirting orgasms are a bit of a parlor trick, and they don’t always feel as good as other types of orgasms
*You deserve as much pleasure as he does
*If the effort isn’t there, in the beginning, it never will be
*You can kneel in slip-on Converse just as well as you can in heels
*You can be a kick-ass submissive and not own a single piece of lingerie
*You can defer to someone and respect them as a leader even while watching *Netflix and eating steak nachos with your fingers
*Dominants can get sick and be huge babies and still be worthy of obedience and respect
*Not every Dominant is an executive with an expense account
*Submissive’s can make more than their partner’s
*You don’t have to say ‘’ to feel it in your bones
*You can love someone and not be a match
*Toxicity isn’t gender-specific
*Wanting to be wanted can lead to seriously poor decision-making
*It’s ok to demand more for yourself; having standards solidifies self-worth
*Strength is a process
*Submission doesn’t cease to exist when you’re single
*Submission doesn’t end when you hit 30 or 50 or 70
*You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do
*You can change your mind
*You can use your voice
*You have to use your voice
Every time I start to think about how things have changed over the years I have to stop and remind myself: Nothing has changed but you. Sometimes I think about the 27-year-old, the 34-year-old, hell - even the 40-year-old, and I cringe. The mistakes she made. The positions (literally and figuratively) she put herself in. How much mental, and emotional energy she would expend on a Dominant. How much she didn’t know.
How much more she still has to learn?
But I’ll tell you what: If the next twenty bring as much joy as the last twenty, I’m in for one hell of a ride. And I want all of it - every bump and swoop and whirl. The twists and turns are what make you who you are.
*Unknown
*Archive
|
|
|
22
Comments
|
|
Kneeling
|
Posted:Oct 17, 2023 12:42 am
Last Updated:Oct 24, 2023 3:37 am 20125 Views
|
Nothing has ever quite spoken to me like kneeling for the person who owns me. I love being spanked. I love asking permission. I love obeying orders and following rules. But there is a special magic in kneeling.
I am often naked when I kneel, but it’s not exactly sexual. I strip because I am property, and property does not get privacy or dignity. I strip because nothing should come between my Dominant and what he owns. I strip to reveal my true self to the one who knows and sees it all.
I position my body to be most pleasing. Sometimes I hold these positions precisely, according to instructions. Hand placement, back arch, eyes pointed downward or straight ahead. The crop traces over my curves, checking to ensure every element is in place. Sometimes I kneel for a purpose—to undress him or serve with my mouth. Sometimes I simply kneel before him and rest my head in his lap. Fingers running through my hair.
No matter the position or purpose, kneeling feels like an act of love for me. It reminds me that I chose to submit to this person. I chose to put myself at his feet, to put my heart and my life in his hands. I chose him because he earned it. He is the kind of man who takes responsibility seriously and cares deeply for those around him. I chose him because his dominance speaks to the core of my being. I chose him because he feels at home.
Sometimes I need to kneel. When the world feels heavy for me, I long to drop to my knees and know that I am safe in his arms. But I also long to kneel when the world is heavy for him. In those moments, I long to kneel quietly at his feet, my naked form displayed for him in exactly the way he desires. He doesn’t have to speak. He doesn’t have to touch me. I want to serve with my quiet presence. I want him to feel my energy and know there are things that make sense in this world. I want him to know that I am with him. I kneel to offer myself to him—to remind him that I chose him and that I will keep choosing him, again and again.
cherishedproperty
|
|
|
18
Comments
|
|
Happily Submit
|
Posted:Oct 16, 2023 4:49 am
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2024 12:55 am 18270 Views
|
Forgive and forget. Let go. Don't dwell. Don't recite all my wrongdoings till the cows come home. Don't blame all of our failures on me. Don't yell at me. Control yourself first. Own your mistakes.
Lead. Take responsibility. Make me feel safe and secure. Protect me. Watch me. Don't let me go by myself after dark. Don't encourage harmful habits.
Laugh with me. Read with me. Watch me dance. Leave silly notes for me. Cook with me. Share a meal, not food.
Don't put tomatoes in the fridge. Don't try to sneak a pair of black socks into the white laundry. Change that lightbulb without a gentle monthly reminder.
Tell me, I got you. Call me a good girl. Take care of me like no one else before.
Braid my hair. Pull me onto your lap. Hold me tight. Fall asleep with me. Kiss my forehead in the morning. Check on me. Don't let me drop.
Look me in the eyes. Hold my chin to look into yours. Touch me for no reason. Pin me.
Buy me an almond croissant once in a while but not too often. Make me presents that money cannot buy.
Listen to me. Support me. Inspire me. Lift me up. Don't refer to anything I'm into as crap or bullshit. Believe in me. Cheer me up. Root for my success. Be proud of me. Cherish me.
Accept me for who I am.
Then, I will HAPPILY SUBMIT.
~three-red-horns
|
|
|
20
Comments
|
|
Here's The Thing....
|
Posted:Oct 16, 2023 4:18 am
Last Updated:Feb 9, 2024 12:55 am 17946 Views
|
Here’s the thing that some people don’t seem to understand about sex & kink. You have to respect boundaries before you get to push them. You have to show people they’re safe before you get to make them feel scared. You have to respect people before you get to degrade them. You have to be normal with people before you get to be dirty with them. You can’t be skipping steps. Treating them like a person always comes before treating them like a toy.
|
|
|
22
Comments
|
|
Don't Let Go
|
Posted:Oct 13, 2023 12:09 am
Last Updated:Oct 24, 2023 3:38 am 17999 Views
|
It’s so rare to find someone that is your “safe place” in life. A person that you can break down in front of. Your confidant. Your place of peace. Your keeper of dreams. Your partner to dream and build with. The person who encourages you to invest in yourself. The person who helps you figure out a way to accomplish things in life. The person who wakes up early or stays up late to be with you. It’s easy to feel like someone could be that, but it’s harder to find someone who actually is that. Finding people who are attractive who turn you on or who flirt well, that’s easy. They’re everywhere. But finding someone who sticks around? Who stays? In the dark days? In the deep shit? Rare. Maybe a once or twice-in-a-lifetime thing. Hold people like that tight. Don’t let go.
|
|
|
8
Comments
|
|
Black and White
|
Posted:Oct 10, 2023 5:38 am
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2024 12:55 am 31336 Views
|
For every person who thinks you're "too quiet," there's one who thinks you're an amazing listener. For every person who thinks you're "too clingy," there's one who loves how much and how openly you care about others. For every person who thinks you're "too weird," there's one who admires how you dare to stand out from the crowd. For every person who thinks you're "too sensitive," there's one who respects you for being so in touch with your feelings. For every person who thinks you're "too confident" there's one who thinks your self-respect is an inspiration. What's a negative trait in one person's eyes might be exactly what someone else is looking for. It's not black or white
~M.
|
|
|
27
Comments
(Page:)
|
|
Nipple Clamps & Torture
|
Posted:Oct 10, 2023 4:40 am
Last Updated:Oct 16, 2023 6:48 am 16705 Views
|
Safety First!
It’s safe to say we’ve all engaged in a little titillation at one time or another! But, as with anything, there are varying degrees of intensity. Of course, here at UberKinky, we’re all about the extreme. So in order to protect your puppies, we have carefully devised this safety section.
If you’re new to nipple play, start by using your hands. This is the most basic way to tease and please. Breast/chest tissue tends to be more sensitive than other areas of the body and will lacerate much quicker than the bum cheeks, for example. However, nipples are more resilient than you think, particularly women’s. After all, they’re designed for breastfeeding. So, just take things slowly and monitor reactions.
Inverted nipples are at a greater risk of infection and irritation in the small folds of the skin. As such, any form of nipple torture that causes abrasion or breaks the skin should be avoided at all costs. That includes piercing and cutting.
As always, cleaning and sterilization of tools is vital. This is of particular importance when it comes to edge play, such as piercing and cutting. Wear sterile gloves and take all of the necessary precautions to stop disease transmission any time that bleeding is a possibility.
Now, to ensure you don’t make any serious boobs, follow these simple dos and don’ts;
Safety
Do
Go slowly, gradually increasing pressure and intensity
Check for circulation and numbness often
Make sure any toys are cleaned and sterilized thoroughly
Wear sterile gloves when bleeding is a possibility
Stop immediately if you notice any discoloration on the nipple
Safety Don'ts
Leave nipple clamps on for more than 10 minutes to begin
Use abrasive techniques (or those likely to cut/break the skin) on inverted nipples
Be quite so brutal as with other parts of the body, such as the backside
Engage in breast suspension bondage unless you have been trained properly
Nipple Orgasm
No, we’re not pulling your tit; it is possible to have an orgasm from stimulating the nipple alone!
Playing with the nipples stimulates the genital sensory cortex, the same part of the brain that is stimulated when we play with our downstairs department. Although, shorter and sharper than a genital orgasm, nipple orgasms offer greater intensity and supreme sexual sensations. So, we assure you, it won’t take long to get to grips with the idea.
Of course, preferences vary from person to person; what does it for one won’t necessarily do it for another. Some love to have their nipples twisted and bitten, while others find it far too painful. In addition, women’s breast sensitivity will vary throughout the month, so bear in mind what she enjoys one week, she may loathe the next.
Now, stop being a tit and try it for yourself!
How To Have A Nipple Orgasm
1.
ATTENTION!
After this step, nipples will be standing tall, proud, and ready to receive. So, make them hard with anticipation and give an all-new meaning to ‘getting a raise’. Do this by gently squeezing the nipples with the fingers, but do not pinch or twist at this stage. After they are raised, you or your playmate should begin massaging in a circular motion with increasing pressure. Come on; it’s time to raise your game!
2.
LEARN A NEW TONGUE!
Of course, you can only enjoy this particular task if you are playing in pairs. It could be quite entertaining for solo players to try licking their own nipples, but it will probably ruin the mood! With the tip of the tongue, lick the nipple in circular motions, using the finger at the same time to trace the nipple and keep it erect. Suck, lick, and flick the nipple with the tongue. Try nibbling gently too. You’ll certainly get a taste for it!
3.
PREPARE TO SUCK!
Not like that; rest assured, you’ll be doing everything just right. It’s time for suction only; lips should be pursed around the nipple for a gentle suck. The pressure is gradually increased creating an environment similar to a vacuum. That powerful suction will increase sensitivity and size, magnifying the supreme sensations being felt. If you’re alone, try using a pump. It’s certainly one time when being a sucker is a good thing!
4.
IT’S GOOD TO TALK!
In order to ensure a successful nipple orgasm, it’s vital that you communicate with one another. That way tops can focus their attention on what feels good and really get the juices flowing. Don’t worry if it doesn’t happen the first time around, nipple orgasms take time to perfect. You’re going to really enjoy it when it does, and we’ll be here to say, “Told you so!”
Nipple Torture
The thing of nipple nightmares; tit torture will give you a sensational wake-up call when it comes to sadistic satisfaction!
Ranging from light to extreme punishment, nipple torture can incorporate a variety of different ways to play, delivering all new and unique sensations. In response to the applied stimulus, the body does not have time to recognize what is happening and processes it as pain. The result is waves of pleasurable endorphins (the body’s natural painkiller) being released into the bloodstream. Endorphins inspire an elated state and an intense natural high. In addition, the psychological aspect involved with power exchange is a huge turn-on for many.
~ UberKinky,
|
|
|
17
Comments
|
|
A Satisfying Orgasm
|
Posted:Oct 8, 2023 1:43 am
Last Updated:Oct 13, 2023 12:48 am 15907 Views
|
In truth, a satisfying orgasm is a spiritual realization more than a technical accomplishment. The flesh is not apart from the spirit. The body is an ecstatic creation of many beings vibrating on other levels of consciousness. A deep orgasm is a realization of love on many levels, including those which many of us now think of as ‘animal.’ Love, getting into the same space or on the same vibration with others, is the ground of our being, and takes an infinity of forms. As in all other experiences, we always have the sexual experience we deserve, depending on our loving-kindness towards ourselves and others.
~Thaddeus Golas, The Lazy Man’s Guide to Enlightenment
*Archive
|
|
|
15
Comments
|
|
Something Powerful
|
Posted:Oct 5, 2023 9:34 pm
Last Updated:Mar 1, 2024 6:38 am 16042 Views
|
When a woman strips herself bare of not only the clothes that cover her body but also the shackles of a lifetime of conditioning and insecurities, finds the strength to kneel before another and ask to be taken, it is truly the most powerful moment in a BDSM relationship. Oh, there are many, many other powerful moments and experiences, and I routinely feel a sense of awe and gratitude as she continues to find new ways to display her submission and desire to learn and grow. But none for me can compare to the power, majesty, humility, and grace that I feel when the right woman holds out her trembling hand and heart and asks to be taken.
~chris-pr-ds
|
|
|
8
Comments
|
|
Unowned
|
Posted:Oct 3, 2023 4:31 am
Last Updated:Feb 1, 2024 2:06 am 16624 Views
|
The word itself implies a sort of default state—a way things should be. A state is described by the absence of something important. But the longer I am single, the more I wonder about this word.
It’s been nearly 15 months since my last D/s relationship ended. At first, “unowned” described perfectly the aching void left in me without the structure of our dynamic. I had no one to ask for permission. No one to make sure I went to bed on time. No one who craved my ever-deepening submission. It was the absence of so many things—not just ownership or love, but truly a loss of identity. What is a submissive when they are unable to serve?
I used to say that I’m a relationship person—that my happiness depends on my connection to another. And frankly, I never bought into the idea that you have to be happy as a single person before you can be in a healthy relationship. Some people just aren’t meant for a single life. As a submissive, part of me has always felt incomplete without ownership. When your sense of purpose and fulfillment relies on serving and obeying another, being single can feel empty. It’s right there in the word. Unowned.
But over time, the aching void of "unownership" faded. I learned to live as a single person. And now I just feel…fine. No, really. At first, I knew I wasn’t ready to submit. Now I’m just not sure I need to. Submission feels like another me in another lifetime. That girl was so sure of her needs that she turned her life upside down for a chance at fulfilling them. Have my needs changed, or have I just been unfulfilled for so long that I’m numb to them? Am I walking around, unaware that the color has drained from my world? Am I actively looking away from the color, too terrified of what it might mean? Too afraid to get hurt, too afraid to make the wrong choice, too afraid to feel so deeply and give so much of myself.
Either way, my submission feels so far away most days. It feels abstract. I have rebuilt my life and my heart so much in the last 18 months that I nearly feel like I new person. But maybe under all of this newness, there’s still a little girl waiting for the right moment to kneel. A friend once told me that these things are like balloons—you can hold them under the water, but they always fight their way to the surface again. I guess time will tell.
But that word—unowned—no longer feels like part of me. I am not defined by the absence of something; I am the presence of many somethings. And I have to trust that those "somethings" will lead me down the right path, whether I am meant to kneel or not.
~cherishedproperty
|
|
|
19
Comments
|
|
