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It's All Relevant

This Blog Is About This & That..

~Saturday Sway
Posted:Sep 30, 2023 2:15 am
Last Updated:Feb 10, 2024 1:48 am
12880 Views
* Why ~ Annie Lennox ~ Diva
* ( I Know ) I'm Losing you ~ Rod Stewart ~ Every Picture Tells A Story
* Lullaby ~ The Cure Disintegration
* The Girl From Ipanema ~ Astrud Gilberto, Stan Getz ~ Work From Home
* Rebels ~ Tom Petty And The Heart Breakers ~ Southern Accents
* Short Skirt /Long Jacket ~ Cake ~ Comfort Eagle
* Hard To Concentrate ~ Red Hot Chilis ~ Stadium Arcadium
* Romeo And Juliet ~ Dire Straits ~ Making Movies
* Karma Police ~ Radio head ~ OK Computer
* Let's Dance ~ Davie Bowie ~ Let's Dance


~Romeo And Juliet ~ Dire Straits

A lovestruck Romeo sang the streets a serenade
Laying everybody low with a love song that he made
Finds a streetlight, steps out of the shade
Says something like, "You and me, babe, how about it?"

Juliet says, "Hey, it's Romeo, you nearly gave me a heart attack"
He's underneath the window, she's singing, "Hey, la, my boyfriend's back
You shouldn't come around here singing up at people like that
Anyway, what you gonna do about it?"

"Juliet, the dice was loaded from the start
And I bet, and you exploded into my heart
And I forget, I forget the movie song
When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?"

Come up on different streets, they both were streets of shame
Both dirty, both mean, yes, and the dream was just the same
And I dreamed your dream for you and now your dream is real
How can you look at me as if I was just another one of your deals?

When you can fall for chains of silver you can fall for chains of gold
You can fall for pretty strangers and the promises they hold
You promised me everything, you promised me thick and thin, yeah
Now you just say "Oh, Romeo, yeah, you know I used to have a scene with him"

"Juliet, when we made love, you used to cry
You said 'I love you like the stars above, I'll love you 'til I die'
There's a place for us, you know the movie song
When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?"

I can't do the talks like they talk on the TV
And I can't do a love song like the way it's meant to be
I can't do everything but I'll do anything for you
I can't do anything except be in love with you

And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be
All I do is keep the beat, the bad company
All I do is kiss you through the bars of a rhyme
Julie, I'd do the stars with you any time

"Juliet, when we made love you used to cry
You said 'I love you like the stars above, I'll love you 'til I die'
There's a place for us you know the movie song
When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?"

And a lovestruck Romeo, he sang the streets a serenade
Laying everybody low with a love song that he made
Find a convenient streetlight, steps out of the shade
He says something like, "You and me, babe, how about it?"

"You and me, babe, how about it?"
4 Comments
Questions To Consider When You Are Considering
Posted:Sep 30, 2023 1:55 am
Last Updated:Oct 3, 2023 6:38 am
13127 Views
The concept of training is on my mind, however, it is not training in the business world nor the faux dominants who lurk on the internet trying to prey up on new submissives to be their personal BDSM trainer but it is occurring to me that many submissives fail to ask some very important questions of dominant they are interested in. So here are ten questions I feel submissives should ask potential Doms.

When it comes to implements of ‘fun’ (crops, floggers, whips, plugs, and I could go on and on), ask how the d-type was taught about safely using them.
With those same arousing bits of equipment, ask the dominant if they have had them used ON them. Quick news flash, even if the d-type was not a fan of how it ‘felt’ they should have experienced them so they can understand how they will feel for you their submissive.

Inquire about how the dominant continue their education in the lifestyle.
Find out where the d-type would go if they had a question/concern. Do they have mentors/friends or would they fire off an anon ask to a blog?
Inquire about mistakes they have made as a dominant.

When discussing errors with a d-type, listen to determine if they share life lessons they have learned from their failures. Be wary of anyone who claims to be mistake-free or struggles to know/share the lessons of their missteps.

How much time are you able to give to building a relationship? It is important to ask this upfront as many people expect more and more time as things grow and develop. Make sure there is an understanding of how much time can be invested and where/when life will infringe upon this time.

If they are a new(er) d-type find out what things intrigue them and those they would like to explore. Remember that exploration is no guarantee these things will become likes, wants, or needs but it will give an idea of the interests lurking in the dominant’s mind. You can even ask this of an ‘old dog’ to find out what ‘new tricks’ they are interested in.

In a long-term relationship, how will you use the lifestyle (and vanilla items) to keep the partnership from becoming stagnant and/or routine?
If at any point you have ‘assumed’ anything about a dominant, make it a point to ask about it, no matter how trivial it may seem. Remember every assumption, even the small ones, can quickly make an ass out of you (or them).

When it comes to asking questions and getting to know a prospective partner, please always ask the same questions in different ways on different days. I know it may sound rude like you are intentionally trying to trip up the d-type, but what you are doing is reassuring yourself that the answers are consistent. This consistency will help both of you build trust in each other and this is important in any relationship but especially so in a lifestyle partnership.

Finally, never feel that as a submissive, you cannot ask something because of the role you are identified with. If you, as an s-type, have something on your mind, always feel comfortable expressing it. I believe that any supposed d-type who would say “A submissive should never ask this” is simply looking to avoid a line of questioning that would lead to unflattering revelations coming out about that person. So, if you think about it, ask it!

Remember the only bad question is the one you are afraid to ask.

©TLK2023

*Archive
5 Comments
No Such Thing as Vanilla
Posted:Sep 25, 2023 6:51 am
Last Updated:Sep 27, 2023 7:26 am
15546 Views
He’s moving slowly inside me. One of his hands holds one of mine. His whole body presses against me, rocking back and forth slowly. His lips are on my ear.

“You won’t come again for a long, long time.”

I nod my acceptance softly as he sweeps my hair out of my eyes. He kisses my temple.

“You’re mine.”

“Yes, Sir.”

He maintains his slow pace. It’s soft and sweet. Even so, I’m excruciatingly close to orgasm. An orgasm he won’t allow me.

If you took away his words, this sex would look so vanilla. There are no cuffs or chains or clamps. He’s not pounding into me. He’s not even fucking my ass as he often does. There was a time when sex like this would make my skin crawl. The slowness and the sweetness made me restless, and I wanted it over as soon as possible. Vanilla sex was never that great at holding my attention. I needed more. I needed hair pulling and nails digging into my hips and primal fucking.

Or at least, I thought I did. I needed ownership—the mental calm that comes from being controlled by someone who craves my obedience. And here, I feel his ownership in every single moment. I know that I am a girl who doesn’t get to choose. I don’t choose when he fucks me or how, or whether I will be allowed release. I don’t even think about it. I just do what he chooses for me to do and feel what he chooses for me to feel. That’s it.

At this moment, his slowness and sweetness feel deliberate and controlled. They are part of his control over me. And I find myself needing it—his soft kisses and caresses and his slow rocking back and forth inside me. Every touch feels like a reminder that I am his.

He gives me a soft shhhh as I begin to whimper.

“I know little one. I know it’s hard, but you’re so beautiful when you struggle for me. You’re such a good girl. The best girl.”

He kisses my neck as he keeps a steady rhythm inside me. I am calm and present at this moment with him. It doesn’t feel vanilla to me at all. I’m not even sure that’s possible when he is him and I am me. Owner and property. I am his in all ways, even the soft and sweet ones. There’s nothing vanilla about that.
10 Comments
Sunday Reading
Posted:Sep 24, 2023 6:39 am
Last Updated:Feb 5, 2024 3:09 am
14417 Views
It's a rainy Sunday, perfect for reading. I just started reading "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius and it's enlightening. I love reading and highly recommend this book. It's amazing how Marcus Aurelius was able to convey such profound thoughts and ideas in such a simple and concise manner. I feel like I'm gaining a lot of wisdom from reading this book and it's definitely worth checking out if you're looking for something insightful and thought-provoking to read on a lazy Sunday.

So, What are you reading?
13 Comments
Oh Don!
Posted:Sep 22, 2023 5:36 am
Last Updated:Feb 11, 2024 12:59 am
14510 Views


Boys Of Summer ~By Don Henly

Nobody on the road,
Nobody on the beach.
I feel it in the air,
The summer's out of reach.
Empty lake, empty streets,
The sun goes down alone.
I'm driving by your house
Though I know you're not home.

But I can see you,
Your brown skin shining in the sun.
You got your hair combed back
And your sunglasses on, baby.
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone.

I never will forget those nights.
I wonder if it was a dream.
Remember how you made me crazy,
Remember how I made you scream.
Now I don't understand what
Happened to our love.
But, baby, I'm gonna get you back,
I'm gonna show you what I'm made of.

But I can see you,
Your brown skin shining in the sun.
I see you walking real slow and you're
Smiling at everyone.
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone.

Out on the road today I saw a Black Head
Sticker on a Cadillac.
A little voice inside my head said:
"Don't look back, you can never look back."
I thought I knew what love was.
What did I know?
Those days are gone forever.
I should just let them go, but…

But I can see you,
Your brown skin shining in the sun.
You got that top pulled down,
And that radio on, baby.
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong,
After the boys of summer have gone.

I can see you,
Your brown skin shining in the sun.
You got that hair slicked back,
And those Wayfarers on, baby.
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong,
After the boys of summer have gone.

Photo By: Me

I just came across this version of a song that I think is absolutely incredible. I wanted to share it with you and recommend that you take a listen. I have a feeling that you'll really enjoy it!

youtube.com/watch?v=hoxEcD4PCco
17 Comments
7 Things I Wish I'd Known When I Was New to BDSM
Posted:Sep 22, 2023 3:24 am
Last Updated:Sep 22, 2023 4:59 pm
14327 Views
As a slave (who used to identify as a submissive, who used to identify as a masochistic bottom) I was new at one time (yes really!!). When I came into the lifestyle I was all wide eyes, excitement, and a healthy dose of caution just days after learning that there was a word for the kinky stuff in my head. It was a very overwhelming time because I wanted to do everything and explore this new world right away. Now wasn't fast enough.

Thankfully I had a wake-up call by the name of a kind Dominant online that told me to take it easy and learn about this from the sidelines first before I jumped headfirst into the shallow end of the pool.

I'll never be able to thank him enough for that bit of advice. It's advice I try to tell every submissive, no matter your age or experience level. There is always time for a bit of education and knowledge before exploration. It can keep you safe, it can make you more aware, it can keep you safe and it can be fun.

To start, this isn't going to be an all-encompassing primer about BDSM. There is far too much information for me to lay it out for you. What I hope to do is give you practical knowledge to work from so that as you explore you will at least have the tools necessary to continue learning with confidence.

If you'd like a more detailed primer, might I suggest these books?

How to be Kinky: A Beginner's Guide to BDSM by Morpheous

The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton

The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino

What is BDSM? What does it stand for?
There are so many primers out there about BDSM I’m not sure if another one is really needed. Then again with all the basic questions asked on forums and chat rooms about BDSM, it’s likely that my words will be read by someone and that they will take something new from them.

BDSM is an umbrella term for Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, Masochism. Each of these words on its own is a giant term with a lot of other vocabularies under them. Basically, anything kinky will fall under one of these terms. It's always good to have a working lexicon of the terms often used by the people who engage in BDSM and if you don't understand a word, you should look it up. You don’t have to know all of the vocabulary to practice BDSM but if you are really curious there are BDSM dictionaries all over the web.

On top of knowing some of the words comes learning some of the expectations and experiences, you can have in the BDSM Lifestyle. Becoming a submissive in a D/s dynamic is just like any other relationship with one very important difference. The roles are set, not fluid like a regular relationship. A dominant and submissive never switch roles (unless in agreed-upon circumstances) and the relationship continues strongly as this dynamic. People can be into kinky play and only engage in their roles in the bedroom or they can be in control of their chosen role throughout their lives.

Neither is greater or less valuable to BDSM. What one chooses to do within their relationship is personal and unique. Liking other people’s kinks is not required, but accepting them is looked favorably on. There are many things that I would never entertain as pleasurable or enjoyable but I can appreciate someone’s desire to do them for those reasons.

Not everyone you meet that is into BDSM wants to be part of a community. You can’t make someone come out into BDSM public and say they are kinky. BDSM is still in the closet for most folks and that’s okay with them. Those who want to be a part of the community bring with you a wonderful amount of experience and personal knowledge that everyone, including new people, can learn from.

1. Is It a Lifestyle?
BDSM is a Lifestyle for me. I live it all the time, it’s who I am. This is not the case with over half of the known BDSM population. The range of participation varies greatly. I can’t say that I know exact numbers, but I know that out of 10 kinky people I could meet in a room, 7 of them probably do not identify as Lifestyle BDSMers. That’s fine with me, we can still chat kink and not get all uncomfortable because we aren’t EXACTLY alike, right?

There are many different roles you can be in BDSM as well, from Top, Dominant, or Master to bottom, submissive, and slave. There are also variations on these roles as well depending on the type of dynamic you want. You could be in a Daddy/little girl or Mommy/little boy dynamic. You could be in a Poly Master/slave household where you are the alpha. You could just be kinky and love the fun stuff in the bedroom. It’s all available to you.

2. What’s the Big Deal?
BDSM is a big deal to those that have anything to do with it because it turns them on in some way; sexually, intellectually, emotionally, or all of the above. BDSM is not always sex-driven, but it can be. Some of us consider it almost a sexual orientation; I’ve recently been of the volition that sexual orientation can not only describe your gender-specific sexual identity but also the differences in how you enjoy sex.

For example, someone with an extreme but healthy fetish would have that fetish as a requirement for sex, just as being heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual is an identifier for each person. For someone such as myself, sex isn’t fulfilling if it does not have any elements of power exchange or SM. I do not get the same enjoyment from regular sex as I do with Power sex. This is not to say that I can’t have regular sex, it’s just my preference is Power Exchange and SM.

With the mainstream sensation of 50 Shades of Grey, more people are bringing D/s roleplay and BDSM into their bedrooms. With this influx of people, it's an important distinction that for many people BDSM is just a casual play experience, while others will apply D/s and kink to some or all of their lives and relationships. BDSM is changing people and providing avenues of expression that people may have never known before.

3. Am I Normal?
Yes, very much so. One of the first questions a new submissive asks themselves is are they normal for desiring the things they do. This could be kinky sex, humiliation or service. Anything that appears to fall outside the vanilla umbrella can cause a novice to question if they are normal. This, in fact, is normal.

Everyone questions themselves at one time or another. I’ve questioned myself many times. Each time I come out with a better understanding of myself and what I want in life. There is no reason to be afraid of new and different things. You may find that these things are worth your attention and could fulfill you in ways you never thought possible.

For example, even if you never thought you’d explore bondage you one day had the desire to see what it was all about. There is nothing wrong with trying it out to see what feelings and sensations there were. If you find you love it, then that’s just one more thing to learn all you can about and have fun with it. If you find there isn’t really a strong pull towards it you can chalk it on the no thank you list. Either way, it’s normal and human to explore things that are different and foreign.

What about things that could be dangerous or involve risks? Does this mean you are a risky person? Not really. Everything you do has risks, even driving to the corner store could end in a deadly accident. Just because there are risks involved doesn’t mean you should shelter your desires.

So what is normal? How can it be defined in a BDSM context? Not very easily, in fact. Normal is different for each person. Everyone’s idea of normal fluctuates and changes during their lives. So your idea of normal now won’t be the same 5 years or even 5 months from now.

The uncomfortable feelings you experience when everything is still brand new have nothing to do with normalcy but with acceptance. When you accept your feelings as normal then you will feel normal. Thousands of people all over the world are exploring new and exciting things all the time. Join the fun!

4. Yes, you should try new things. But not everything is going to be for you.
One of our human strengths is that we love to try new things. As a novice submissive you are probably very afraid to venture out of your bubble and try something that for the longest time has to seem terrifying and still exciting. I want to encourage you to try everything you are interested in at least once. Twice if you are not sure of your first response to it.

It is okay if you find that something doesn't do it for you. It's okay if you change your mind. And it's okay if someone else likes it but you don't. The key to exploration is to do so with an open mind and accept whatever response you get. For example, if you've had fantasies of being tied up with rope and made to orgasm over and over again but the real experience fell flat of your expectations you have a few choices. For example, if you've had fantasies of being tied up with rope and made to orgasm over and over again but the real experience fell flat of your expectations you have a few choices.

You can decide that it was hotter in fantasy but you are very glad that you tried it. You won't be doing it again anytime soon.

You can figure out that it was the person, situation, or time frame that affected your response to playing out your fantasy and you want to try it again when things are more favorable.

You can decide that once was enough, now where is the next fantasy!

There are kinks that you will encounter that offend, repulse, or just make you feel oogy. These are things that drive other people wild, but that doesn't mean you have to try them. You don't even have to watch them. But you do have to accept that other people can and will participate in kinky activities that you don't like.

Keep an open mind.

5. Yes, you can do that. Yes, others will have issues with it. No, they don’t matter.
I said above that you may encounter kinky activities that may offend you or make wonder why anyone would find that exciting. But it could also be that you have an unusual or particularly unique kink that few others share. You may find people don't like that kink and will be very vocal about why.

Don't let that bother you. I know that sounds easier said than done, but learn to have a thick skin because there will be people who have closed minds and find that their brand of kink is the only way and anyone who says or does differently is wrong. The truth is that they don't matter to you.

What matters is how you explore life and how you feel about your place in BDSM. Your confidence is sexy and knowing your preferences no matter how others feel about them is powerful. Consider it this way; what harm is it to you what they think about something you find to be enjoyable or the right way for you to do something? How will it affect you once they turn around and walk away?

Probably very little. Embrace who you are.

6. Yes, you should explore your fantasies. But recognize that not all fantasies translate easily to real life.
I've touched on this a bit above, but not all fantasies work well in practice and some shouldn't ever leave the realm of your dreams. The reason this is, will probably not escape you. There are safety risks or expectations that just won't work in real life. Say for example you have a fantasy to experience a stress position that is known to kill people or a real torture tactic like water-boarding. The safety in these situations is far above SSC, RACK, or any other safety limitations that others may have. Similarly, there are fantasies that violate the law or moral code, such as pedophilia or animal cruelty that really should remain a part of a fantasy.

With that said, you can simulate a lot of things to experience something like your fantasy without harm and well within the realm of safety. I heard a story of someone who wanted to experience necrophilia with their partner (without actual death). To make this fantasy “real” the female partner went into a private cemetery at night and laid down over a grave for over an hour, getting chilled from the cold ground and frosty air. Then, at the agreed time, the man would explore the cemetery and discover her “dead” body and ravage her cold limp body. From the smiles on their faces, it appears it was a fantastic time for both.

Be creative and innovative with your fantasies to see if you can enact something that will give you the sensation of the fantasy without doing anything you may regret later.

7. Yes, there are other people who share your kink. But please don’t assume that the first person you find is The One for you.
Just because a person also loves having sex while rolling in Jell-O does not mean they are compatible with you.

That's right, I just said it. You've searched the world over for someone interested in the same kinky things you are and when you found one, I'm telling you to hold it right there a moment and think. You remember thinking, right? That mind function you had before all common sense fled and you were suddenly in a frenzy over finding someone who shared the same kinks as you and now you just had to have it? Yeah, that.

Ok, okay, so there are two scenarios here. You want a casual fling with someone and to experience a kink or fantasy that you have only found one other person that's into. Fine, go rock your world. There's really no need for further compatibility if that's all you are looking for.

But if you want a relationship with someone that enjoys a particular kink so that you can experience it again and again, as well as the dynamics a relationship can bring, read on. Realistically, do you think you are completely compatible with someone that you know just one thing about? It's like a lottery number, the likelihood is that you'll not win. So, before the roll-in jello, unless that's all you are interested in, talk to the person. Realistically, do you think you are completely compatible with someone that you know just one thing about? It's like a lottery number, the likelihood is that you'll not win. So, before the roll-in jello, unless that's all you are interested in, talk to the person.

A relationship isn't about one specific fantasy fulfilled, it's about being each other’s dreams realized. Even if you've looked for someone for months or years and this is the first person who has said, yes I love that kink, if you aren't relationship compatible then that really means nothing. The scope is larger than that.

This goes for submissives brand new to submission or BDSM. The first Dominant you meet is not necessarily your dream Dom. Do not submit to anyone until you know them forward and backward and are sure you are compatible with them. Date them, regularly date them. Develop a relationship with them before adding kink.

If after a time of your choosing you decide that this person could really be your dream Dominant, then go for it. My best wishes to you.

Written By LunaKM ( A Submissives Guide )
6 Comments
Insatiable.
Posted:Sep 20, 2023 11:55 pm
Last Updated:Oct 30, 2023 3:21 am
13801 Views
Never enough; always wanting, deeply craving, incapable of being satisfied.

When we are together we cannot stop. We cannot keep our hands to ourselves. We cannot keep our bodies separated. We cannot force our thoughts away from one another. A desperate aching need for more.

Does this mean we are unfulfilled? Not at all. We are simply hedonists in our world of one another. A desperate paradox; continually fulfilled yet forever craving. Addicts of our own desire. More…always more…of you.

Insatiable.
12 Comments
Sunrise, Sunrise.
Posted:Sep 19, 2023 5:28 am
Last Updated:Jan 26, 2024 6:41 am
19646 Views


Despite the chilly temperature, this morning's sunrise was a breathtaking sight to behold. As I gazed out, I was fortunate enough to witness a family of dolphins gracefully passing by, it was a truly stunning experience. These tranquil moments of solitude before the hustle and bustle of the day leave me feeling immensely grateful. The spiritual significance of watching the sunrise is something I hold dear.

Photo Taken By: Me
31 Comments   (Page:)
Rules For Being Human
Posted:Sep 17, 2023 7:44 pm
Last Updated:Sep 18, 2023 9:40 am
12333 Views
~

7 Comments
New Is Not An Excuse
Posted:Sep 14, 2023 10:31 pm
Last Updated:Sep 19, 2023 6:18 am
12212 Views
When a D/S partnership is going great, it is like the dominant is a superhero for their submissive and the submissive is a superhero to their D-type. While this is amazing, there is another superpower that is not a good thing and it afflicts the lifestyle community. It does not matter if it is in-person, on Tumblr, FetLife, or any other site in the kink neck of the woods and this superpower is predators sniffing out new submissives.

Those who look to prey upon the new to the lifestyle submissive look for someone who is overeager, giving off that new submissive smell coupled with a lack of desire to be cautious and learn carefully. While there is nothing wrong with being new, eager, anxious to explore, and submissive but before someone leaps into the deep end of the D/S dating pool, it is imperative that they can swim effortlessly. Remember this ‘community’ pool does not come with lifeguards, life-jackets, and predators ARE lurking, waiting for someone new to jump off the high dive.

Invest in learning all about the lifestyle. What you do not know CAN hurt you.
When you write a profile, about me a blurb, or any other little ditty where you share about yourself to the kinkerrific world, please leave the words I am new, inexperienced, or any other words that inform others that you are a newbie to the lifestyle. You can share that with those you choose to connect with but saying those words in such a public way is like jumping into a shark tank filled with chum where those majestic beasts have not been fed in a week. The predatory sharks will be lining up to try to take a bite out of you.

It can appear to be very easy to find dominant ‘friends’ as they will seek you out but find, and befriend fellow submissives so you have a safe place to get quality feedback, information, and conversation. Many dominants are indeed good humans who truly only wish to be helpful, however, some will attempt to use ‘friendship’ to manipulate/prey upon the newly minted submissive.

Learn about the lifestyle, learn about yourself, and learn how it all fits together for you in your life. Even if someone is new, they must have thoughts and ideas of how the lifestyle will fit them. If they are unsure of how any of the puzzle pieces of dating, the lifestyle, and life fit together, they are not ready for the kinky dating pool. I do not mean someone has to have all the answers or the puzzle finished but they have to a solid start on this life-sized, piece-by-piece adventure.

Stop being in a rush. There is no hurry to date, find a dominant, and start planning the happily ever after. All good things come in time but you have to invest your time growing personally in the lifestyle and developing your own knowledge base.

Even though it is a ‘lifestyle relationship’, people must remember it is still a relationship. Just because Daddy Don Juan and Natalie Newbie have the same kinks, they still must have all of the normal, vanilla pieces of the relationship puzzle to fit together. Partnerships are unions between people and are not created by a simple matching of fetishes.

Remember the saying that were taught about a ‘stranger danger’? Well in the lifestyle rather than a creepy person with candy and a van, we have a trainer danger. Submissives do NOT need a dominant to teach them how to be submissive. It is imperative to learn the ‘ropes’ through education and building solid friendships. Investing in your personal lifestyle growth will teach you much more than the ‘lifestyle trainer’ (even if he has candy, whips, chains, and a van).

Do not fear the in-person community. Sometimes people live in places where there is a lifestyle desert but most people live within an area where there are lifestyle get-togethers. Go out, attend a munch (a purely vanilla event held in public spaces, restaurants/coffee shops), and make real-world connections with others involved in the lifestyle.

A person’s submission is their gift to give and no one can take, demand, or claim it, although predators will try. Submission MUST be freely given and because of this submissives have the ultimate power in a lifestyle partnership because they can say no/revoke their submission at any time. This lifestyle requires CONSENT, please do not forget this.

It Can Happen To You! It is great to be trusting but always, ALWAYS verify and remember your safety is your responsibility. Bad things do happen to good people but more often bad things happen to good people because they made poor decisions. Stay smart, trust your intuition, and always err on the side of safety. Do not be arrogant and think bad things will not happen to you.

©TLK2020
13 Comments

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