What I’ve Learned As A Plus Size Girl That’s Into D/s
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Posted:Jan 15, 2024 3:49 am
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2024 7:40 am 9280 Views
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1. I am not going to be everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay.
Okay, ladies, it's honesty time. I’m a bigger girl. I have thighs, hips, and large breasts. Not everyone is going to be down with that. Those who do stick around are those who matter. So what if you have a tummy and like to be tied up? I promise some guy somewhere will love every inch of you.
2. I don’t look like most porn photos.
You know exactly what I am talking about. The photos that flood your feed, my feed, and even pictures you may have on your blog. Scantily clad women with svelte, slim bodies, flat tummies, skinny thighs, a tight butt, and not even a hint of cellulite. Let me tell you a little tip though…NO ONE looks like that. Even the models don’t look like that. Photoshop is magic.
P.S. This applies to men too. Not all of you have a six-pack, chiseled jawlines, and perpetually wear a suit…but guess what? You’re still hot!
3. I will get criticized for my size.
This is no secret. I can’t tell you how many times I have been told I need to lose weight or “Sorry but I’m not into fat girls”. Oh well, your loss. Trust me it sucks but as I said before someone will love your tummy, big butt, thick thighs, cellulite, and rolls. Someone out there thinks you are the sexiest thing to walk this earth.
4. I am just as sexy as anyone else. Being plus size is beautiful. So what if you have a few extra pounds? Love the body that you're in, and others will too.
5. D/s is for everyone!
I’ve been told several times that due to being bigger, I will never find a Sir/Daddy/Master. This is simply not true. I have found a few. I’ve been into D/s for about 25 years now and men find no problems with me being plus-sized. Well, some have but they don’t matter. Whether you are a size 2 or 22 D/s is for you.
6. Not all littles are “little”.
I am not a little, I have little tendencies but I have seen so many pics on DD/lg blogs where all the girls are tiny and cute. Well, guess what you can be cute and little and still have a tummy. Daddy will love you just the same.
7. Porn is unrealistic so stop stressing.
Porn is pretty to look at and fun to watch but we all know that it isn’t real. It’s a fantasy. It’s a perfect dream scenario. It can be a guideline and a fun way to get ideas but it will never be 100% accurate. Laugh at your mistakes and imperfections. Sex is supposed to be fun. If you have never laughed during sex you are having bad sex. So what if you can’t twist your body like that? You are a person, not a pretzel.
8. Beauty is only skin deep.
Cliché but true. There is so much more to beauty, love, and D/s than what your body looks like. Men want real—honest, smart, funny, loyal, etc. Yeah, a hot body catches the eye but a charming personality ignites the soul.
9. Love yourself.
Another cliché but an important one. Take it from someone who has been there. Dom’s HATE when their sub talks down about themselves. It hurts them in more ways than you know. 1. It hurts because they love you and you can’t see that you are gorgeous to them. 2. They feel like a failure. When a sub is down on herself, a Dom feels like he has failed her. A Dom wants his sub to feel loved, cherished, and important. If she is upset about how she looks he feels like he has let her down. Also, self-love is important because you know the saying “You must love yourself before you love anyone else”.
10. I’m a confident, sexy, beautiful, plus-sized submissive, and I KICK-ASS!!!
Hell yes. I am plus-sized but so the fuck what? I’m hot as hell. I am smart, funny, sarcastic, strong, and one hell of a conversationalist. I am not what the porn industry would make you believe submissive looks like but I still kick just as much ass as those women do. No matter your size BDSM is for all. Be confident. Be sexy. Be beautiful. Stay Kinky.
*Author Unknown
*Archive
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Your submissive used their safeword: time to R.E.A.D!
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Posted:Jan 15, 2024 2:59 am
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2024 5:56 am 9063 Views
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Safewords happen. They are vital to healthy and safe BDSM activity. The first time hearing a safeword, though, can be a panic moment for a new dominant, so when it happens, just remember to R.E.A.D:
React- Stop play immediately, undo any ties or bindings and get your submissive into a comfortable position.
Evaluate- determine whether or not your submissive is capable of communicating and if they are in immediate physical danger. Determine the type of care they need.
Administer care- this can take many forms depending on what kind of care they need, but will often take the form of hydration and cuddling. At this point, you should also be reassuring your submissive that you are proud of them for using their safe word responsibly.
Debrief- once your submissive is capable of clear speech, have an open and honest conversation with them about what went wrong in the scene. Make sure to ask what they felt and have them walk through the experience from their end. Make sure you show empathy and encourage your submissive to speak freely, as these debriefs are one of the ways we learn.
Sometimes these steps happen all at once and sometimes they are spaced out over a relatively long period of time, but always remember to R.E.A.D any time a safeword is used!
Play safe!
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Salvation
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Posted:Jan 13, 2024 1:33 am
Last Updated:Mar 1, 2024 5:46 am 9343 Views
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People say it's just sex, but who the fuck wants just sex. I want all the before. All the words. The unraveling of my desires, meticulously noted. Strummed through with care. I want the gentleman and the gentleness. I want the secrets and the little I thought of you. I want someone to break me down slowly. Break me apart from the inside out. Starting with my mind and heart and when they finally get to my body, they know what to do with it. They aren't a stranger. They aren't foreign. I'm familiar and soft and wild in their hands. There's nothing taboo between us because everything about us has been spilled. Shared. They can read my eyes and hear my moans and my whimpers and know the words they equate to. They've memorized me. They've craved me. They've wanted and waited. When we finally strip down behind closed doors, it's way more than just sex. It's salvation.
~her-reconciled-heart
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Women
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Posted:Jan 10, 2024 1:33 am
Last Updated:Mar 1, 2024 5:46 am 11225 Views
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I have come across many women in my lifetime. women with alluring eyes, and amazing smiles. women with lovely bodies, and endless curves. I have come across women from all walks of life, that have the exteriors of a goddess. but the women that always remain the most memorable to me, are the women with beautiful minds. the women who cause mind orgasms and stimulate every part of my soul. the women who have plenty of layers to their soul and get more beautiful as you unpeel the surface. the women you can have a conversation with about ideas, spirituality, and art at 3 a.m. the women who can feed your soul effortlessly and share their energy unselfishly. the women who have stories to tell about love, heartache, and growth. the women with more to them than meets the eye. a beautiful face will keep me intrigued for a short time, but a beautiful mind will keep me intrigued forever.
— iambrillyant
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~Sunday Sway
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Posted:Jan 7, 2024 7:21 pm
Last Updated:Jan 15, 2024 7:20 pm 12637 Views
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* Girl From The North Country ~ Noah Gunderson & David Ramirez
* Sweetness Follows ~ REM ~ Atomic For The People
* The Killing Moon ~ Echo And The Bunnymen ~Ocean Rain
* Dreams ~ Allman Brothers Band ~ Dreams
* PIGS ~ Pink Floyd ~ Animals
* So Young ~ Portugal, The Man~ Woodstock
* Pusherman ~ Curtis Mayfield ~ Superfly
* Hell In A Bucket~ Grateful Dead ~ Best Of The Dead
* Since I've Been Loving You ~ Led Zeppelin ~Led Zeppelin III
* Time Has Come Today ~ The Chambers Brothers ~ The Time Has Come
* Apple Blossom ~ White Stripes ~ De Stijl
* Add It Up ~ Violent Femmes ~ Violent Femmes
* Time ~ Pink Floyd ~ Dark Side Of The Moon
Add It Up ~ Violent Femmes
Day after day, I will walk and I will play,
But the day after today, I will stop and I will start.
Why can't I get just one kiss?
Why can't I get just one kiss?
There may be some things that I wouldn't miss,
But I look at your pants and I need a kiss.
Why can't I get just one screw?
Why can't I get just one screw?
Believe me, I know what to do,
But something won't let me make love to you.
Why can't I get just one fuck?
Why can't I get just one fuck?
I guess it's got something to do with luck,
But I waited my whole life for just one.
Day after day, I get angry and I will say,
That the day is in my sight when I'll take a bow and say goodnight.
Oh, ma-mama, mama-mo-ma-mum,
Have you kept your eye, your eye on your ?
I know you've had problems, you're not the only one,
When your sugar left, he left you on the run.
Oh, ma-mama, mama-mo-ma-mum,
Take a look now at what your boy has done.
He's walking around like he's number one,
Went downtown and you got him a gun.
So don't shoot, shoot, shoot that thing at me,
Don't shoot, shoot, shoot that thing at me.
You know you've got my sympathy,
But don't shoot, shoot, shoot that thing at me.
So don't shoot, shoot, shoot that thing at me,
Don't shoot, shoot, shoot that thing at me.
You know you've got my sympathy,
But don't shoot, shoot, shoot that thing at me.
Going down the kitchen at the top of the stairs,
Can I mix in with your affairs?
Share a smoke, make a joke, grasp and reach for a leg of hope.
Words to memorize, words hypnotize, words make my mouth exercise.
Words all failed the magic prize; nothing I can say when I'm in your thighs.
Oh, ma-mama, mo-ma, mo-ma mother,
I would love to love you, lover.
City is restless, it's ready to pounce,
Here in your bedroom, ounce-for-ounce.
Oh, ma-mama, mo-ma, mo-ma mother,
I would love to love you, lover.
City is restless, it's ready to pounce,
Here in your bedroom, ounce-for-ounce.
I've given you a decision to make,
Things to lose, things to take.
Just as she's about ready to cut it up:
She says, "Wait a minute, honey, I'm gonna add it up!"
Add it up! Add it up! Add it up!
Day after day, I get angry and I will say,
That the day is in my sight when I'll take a bow and say goodnight.
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16
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Time Has Taught Me....
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Posted:Jan 7, 2024 2:04 am
Last Updated:Mar 1, 2024 5:46 am 13016 Views
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* You can be a kick-ass submissive and not own a single piece of lingerie
* You can kneel in slip-on Converse just as well as you can in heels
* Wanting to be wanted can lead to seriously poor decision-making
* You can love someone and not be a match
* You deserve as much pleasure as they do
* Liars and cheaters will always lie and cheat
* Not everyone likes the spotlight; it’s ok to live D/s very privately
* It’s ok to make things like rope bondage and tickling hard limits; it’s ok to make anything a hard limit
* Dominants can use a safeword or otherwise stop an activity
* Submissives can walk away; you don’t have to be ‘released’ from shit
* Moving quickly rarely leads to longevity
* Your gut is never wrong; listen to it
* It’s ok to not look like a fetish model; most people don’t
* Sex can feel good even without orgasming
* Squirting orgasms are a bit of a parlor trick, and they don’t always feel as good as other types of orgasms
* If the effort isn’t there, in the beginning, it never will be
* You can defer to someone and respect them as a leader even while watching Netflix and eating steak nachos with your fingers
* Dominants can get sick and be huge babies and still be worthy of obedience and respect
* Not every Dominant is an executive with an expense account
* Submissives can make more money than their partner
* You don’t have to say ‘Daddy’ to feel it in your bones
* Toxicity isn’t gender-specific
* You can’t always educate yourself out of raised-with-it bias, but you have to try
* It’s ok to demand more for yourself; having standards solidifies self-worth
* Strength is a process
* Self-esteem requires active management
* Submission doesn’t cease to exist when you’re single
* Submission doesn’t just end when you hit 30 or 50 or 70
* You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do
* You can change your mind
* You can use your voice
* You have to use your voice
**Author Unknown
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16
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Sunrise, Sunrise.
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Posted:Jan 7, 2024 1:01 am
Last Updated:Jan 12, 2024 7:23 am 12771 Views
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“For a girl with such a dark mind, you're a little too in love with the sunrise.”
― Sherry Namdeo
Photo Taken By: Me
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23
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BDSM 101: Some Common Misconceptions about D/s Relationships that are made by D/s Practitioners
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Posted:Jan 5, 2024 3:22 am
Last Updated:Jan 8, 2024 4:15 am 15104 Views
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People who pursue power dynamics for dysfunctional reasons have evolved many toxic ideas surrounding the BDSM lifestyle, which are often repeated and imitated by new and less experienced kinksters. Here are many such misconceptions:
1. D/s dynamics are created by dominants, to serve dominants. Subs just do as they’re told.
The healthiest D/s dynamics are created in collaboration between partners. While the dominant will ultimately lead the relationship, one partner’s needs within that relationship will not be more important than the other partner’s needs. D/s dynamics should serve the needs of all parties involved.
2. The dominant role is more important than the submissive role.
Both roles within a D/s relationship are dependent on one another, and therefore equally as important. Try being a dominant without a submissive around, and see how it goes.
3. A safeword (or adaptation of the concept) is optional for the submissive within a D/s relationship.
Safewords are the proven guardians of consent. Consent is never optional, and therefore safewords are never optional.
4. A submissive should live in fear of being punished by their dominant.
Punishments should fall within a submissive’s limits, and be delivered without anger. If you are afraid of punishments, it’s a red flag for abuse within your dynamic.
5. A D/s dynamic is an adventure every day. A sub should never know what’s coming.
Dynamics should be created by partners together, so subs should know what the expectations of their own relationship are. Successful D/s relationships are known for their transparency, which is one thing that makes them attractive to submissive trauma survivors.
6. While large age gaps between partners are taboo in vanilla society, there is nothing wrong with pursuing big age gap relationships in D/s dynamics.
The same dynamics that make age gap relationships dangerous in the vanilla world, exist with the BDSM lifestyle. The wisdom of age, more often than not, is weaponized to manipulate and abuse younger and less experienced kinksters. Older men who specifically target and pursue teens and young women, while discounting all “more mature” adults, are predators.
7. If you’re a dominant man, it’s ok to take as many D/s submissive partners as you want, while demanding all of your submissive poly/poly curious partner(s) practice monogamy.
This is something serial cheaters who need toxic levels of control within their relationships to convince their partners. To love someone who is/may be polyamorous is to want them to pursue other relationships when they find them. Don’t date poly people if you can’t allow them to do that, or if allowing them to pursue others proves damaging to you.
~a-dominants-thoughts
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17
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~Art Break
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Posted:Jan 5, 2024 3:07 am
Last Updated:Jan 8, 2024 4:09 am 12944 Views
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~By Japanese Artist Masaaki Sasamoto.
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11
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~BDSM Library ~ Books That Are Worth A Read
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Posted:Jan 3, 2024 1:22 am
Last Updated:Jan 22, 2024 3:38 am 16467 Views
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* Come Hither: A Commonsense Guide To Kinky Sex by Gloria G. Brame
• BDSM: The Naked Truth by Dr. Charley Ferrer
• Dear Raven and Joshua: Questions and Answers About Master/Slave Relationships by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera
• Devil in the Details I: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - The Master, The Slave, The Power by LT Morrison
• Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by William Brame, Gloria Brame, and Jon Jacobs
• Living M/s: A Book for Masters, slaves and Their Relationships by Dan and Dawn Williams
• Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice by Robert Rubel
• Protocols: A Variety of Views by Robert Rubel
• Real Service by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera
• Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Philip Miller and Molly Devon
• SM101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman
• The Control Book by Peter Masters
• The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren
• The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.
• The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.
• The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino
• This Curious Human Phenomenon: An Exploration of Some Uncommonly Explored Aspects of BDSM by Peter Masters
• Where I Am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina Parker
* How to Be a Healthy and Happy Submissive by Kate Kinsey
* Domination & Submission by Michael Makai
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