Male Box
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Posted:Jul 5, 2020 1:21 pm
Last Updated:May 7, 2023 7:40 pm 8392 Views
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Just couldn't resist the misspelling of mail box in the title for this blog.
Being a standard member I thought I would open a blog where other standard members or for that matter any other person can leave a message should they so desire.
I check my blog daily so if you want to contact me I will get the message and we might be able to communicate.
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11
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The secret life
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Posted:May 7, 2009 6:31 am
Last Updated:Nov 11, 2021 3:17 pm 75691 Views
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May the 5, 2009 I attended the celebration of life for my boy, a married bisexual into BDSM, who passed on April 20,2009.
The church was packed there was over 200 people in attendance. His brother lit the candles at the start of the service and one flickered for a couple of minuets, it was weird to watch. I took it as a sign my boy was letting us know he was in attendance.
His brother and 3 male friends reminisced about his life, and the things he did and the things he loved. All the men got really choked up, you could tell they all loved him. There was a slide show of his life and a Clapton rendition of "somewhere over the rainbow" was played. It was nice to see pictures of him as he grew up and turned into the man he was.
He was a beautiful man and I got to see the other side of him. For 58 years he lead this ideal homophobic life and for all of them he hid his real self. How would all the people have reacted if he dared to out himself to all of them. He was who he was and who he was everyone loved. I doubt very much if it would have made any difference to how the people felt about him. His wife knew and still loved him deeply.
How many of us live the BDSM lifestyle in secret, sort of living in the closet, The secret life no one knows about and how it effects or effected our life is something to ponder. I would suggest we let people know who and what we are before it is too late and we are alone with our memories as I am now.
He and I lived our life in secret, we were a tight couple, unfortunately no one really knew what we were to each other. I attended his memorial and had to sit in silence, unable to tell people how much he meant to me.
Consequence be dammed ,we should be proud of who and what we are and live our lives openly. Given the chance to do it all over again, I know I would.
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Edge play and pushing boundaries
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Posted:Sep 22, 2008 4:54 pm
Last Updated:Jul 25, 2022 7:55 am 82498 Views
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When I first started to play with my bottom boy I was a total novice to the world of BDSM play. I spotted him in a public dungeon and the moment I laid my eyes on him I knew I wanted him. He had this look I like. BDSM was part of the package that made up his character. I hate giving up control consequently I told him I was a top. No problem was his reply I am a switch. We talked and then played, thank God for BDSM videos or I would have made a total ass of myself. We ran into each other a couple of more times and gradually he became my mentor / bottom boy which has since evolved into my mentor / bottom boy / lover .
The term Safe, sane, consensual play, what does it really mean to each of us and when does one know if one has stepped out of bounds. As a sadist is it only once the damage has been done that we recognize we pushed the edge beyond the other person's tolerance. Once you are over the trauma goes that heightened level become the new edge.I said trauma and believe me there is trauma for both the bottom and the top when you exceed the current boundaries. Do you continually playing at this raised level until you once again push the edge and have more trauma to deal with. The learning curve and the highs derived from this type of play are never ending.
We originally set up green, yellow, orange and red as our safe words and every time we played it was understood these safe words were in play. Anything else, things like no please no or Daddy I'll be good please don't or no, no were part of the scene or the fantasy he was in and had no consequences. He taught me that as a top I should push then back off only to return and push again, then repeat the process again and again. This he told me was S&M. He said he needed to have the break to compose himself and absorb what was happening to him physically and mentally. Ok I think I got it.
After months of playing I asked him how far I could push him. He thought for a while than said he would like to see if someone could make him cry. This told me I could up the anti in the level of pain I was inflicting on him. I then asked him if he would be man enough to handle the fact I made him cry. His answer was I don�t know it's a risk we will have to take.
The problem is sometimes it feel like I am looking at a play and not a character in it while other times I get totally involved in the fantasy. Scenes are better when I am involved but then edge play takes over from safe, sane play which would normally keep me in check.
Last Friday I purchased a Paradise Electro Stimulator complete with a Prostate Stimulator and a Testicle Stimulator and we went back to his place to experiment with it. He has a garage which allow for suspension scenes which I find a real turn on. So we did a suspension scene before moving to the play room. I used the TENS on his cock and balls while he was suspended . He loved it, he was as hard as a rock . In the playroom I tied him face down to the coffee table, greased up his balls, ass hole and the new toys as per the instructions then started in. Unfortunately the prostate stimulator would not work internally but did externally so I gave his ass hole and balls a nice little workout, he was screaming. I then tied him face up on the coffee table and had him take me deep in his throat. He gagged at the beginning and then relaxed taking me to the root. His fantasy started with no please I'll be good and I got into the bad daddy role and kept deep fucking his face and telling him how he was bad and this was his punishment for being caught sucking cock. It was awesome he was gagging on his saliva and sputtering because he could not suck cock and breath at the same time and it just went on and on .We were both really into it and then I went on to cock and ball torture with the prostate stimulator. He was screaming no, no please no but I didn't recognise the change in tone and he started hyperventilating and begging me to stop It sounded like he was sobbing behind the gag but still I continued punishing him, I was totally immersed with what I was doing and assumed he was still in to his fantasy. Finally he called yellow which means ease up but not red which is stop. Being a typical man he simply will not give in. He has never called a color before so I immediately stopped and untied him. He had totally gone over the edge, he said every nerve ending was screaming and he was sobbing and couldn't breath. He crawled on to the couch and just sobbed and was still hyperventilating . I held him and told him I loved him and how sorry I was.
Once he came down I moved him to the bedroom covered him up and held him some more . We talked about it later. It is wonderful that our relationship is strong enough he didn't mind me, another man, seeing him out of control, he wasn't embarrassed and allowed me to stay near him and hold him. He answered my question on how much of a man he was. A big man comfortable with who and what he is made of, I love him for it.
The experience show me we just how close we are to each other and how good our relationship is. It was a wonderful experience though frightening . Hopefully we both learned from it. I know I will watch his body more closely to see how it is reacting to my manipulation and hopefully he has learned he is a human being and his mind and body are subject to some limitations. Safe words are not to be ignored but used if the body is telling you it has had enough.
I am sure we will continue to play on the edge but hopefully we will be able to push it to higher and higher heights without having any more catastrophes.
I am off to the toy store to see what other accessories are available for the TENS machine. I think the big boy sparkler might be a nice addition to the toy bag, it can be used as a sound inserted in the penis or up the anus. Sounds interesting.
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6
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How racist can you really be
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Posted:Nov 22, 2021 6:08 am
Last Updated:Apr 24, 2023 5:54 am 4497 Views
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Your car is German. Your vodka is Russian. Your pizza is Italian. Your kebab is Turkish. Your democracy is Greek. Your coffee is Brazilian. Your movies are American. Your tea is Tamil. Your shirt is Indian. Your oil is Saudi Arabian. Your electronics are Chinese. Your numbers Arabic, your letters Latin. And you complain that your neighbor is an immigrant? Pull yourself together. Copy if you're against racism
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