Just cuz ............
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Posted:Oct 18, 2006 6:42 pm
Last Updated:Jun 13, 2013 10:27 pm 5856 Views
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I love the thought and my mind is a bit bizarre tonight.
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Oooo.................My quote for the day!
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Posted:Oct 13, 2006 3:56 pm
Last Updated:May 8, 2014 8:18 pm 6158 Views
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The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. -- Mark Twain
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The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning
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Posted:Oct 11, 2006 8:54 pm
Last Updated:Oct 22, 2006 9:22 pm 6376 Views
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Subject: CDC WARNING
Date: Fri, 6 Oct 2006 20:11:34 EDT
The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted disease.
The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior.
The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced "gonna re-elect him."
Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years.
Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas.
Okay, I've contributed to the politically charged atmosphere. I'm not saying I agree, but I felt so left out.
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My silly halloween joke for today
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Posted:Oct 11, 2006 8:50 pm
Last Updated:Oct 28, 2012 10:51 am 5106 Views
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An old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time decided to dress up and go out.
The old woman went into her bedroom, stripped naked and tied a lemon between her legs.
When she came out, the old man cried, "You can't go out like that!"
She said, "I can go anyway I like and so can you."
Whereupon he retired to the bedroom and came out stark raving naked with a potato tied to his tallywhacker.
The old woman says, "you're going out like that?"
And he replies, "Yep, if you can go as a sour-puss, I can go as a dick-tater.
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Things I've learned from being tagged here
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Posted:Oct 10, 2006 9:08 pm
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2007 7:51 pm 5552 Views
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1) I am the only person who would rather have wheels than wings.
I get seriously motion sick so I'm not unhappy with my choice.
2) I am the only person who admits to owning a Backstreet boys or Brittany Spears CD.
You boys may say you don't own one, but I'm guaranteeing you've all jacked off to 'ol Britt's picture at least once.
3) I am one of the few who didn't pick black as their favorite color?
4) I am way too open on my blog.
5) I have more blessings, experiences, and stories than I realized
6) I have learned a lot, but I still have a lot to learn
7) I know some really cool people 
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Rules for being a lying, cheating dog
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Posted:Oct 10, 2006 8:27 pm
Last Updated:Dec 7, 2015 12:52 am 6946 Views
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"Hi my name is Susan and I do believe my husband Michael met you at a hotel on so and so Rd in Mansfield in July. He says he never met you.......I need to know the truth."
This is an actual email I received this weekend.
The 3rd one I've gotten from an angry wife this year.
The 3rd unknown, lied about angry wife.
Now......I'm not criticizing couples that swing, people who state upfront that they are involved/married, or even "prefer not to say" (since I take that to mean attached anyway).
This is for the ones who lie and say they are single..............
ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?
DO you not realize that MANY things have to be done differently and more carefully when there is someone else involved?
DO you really think that I would NOT cover for you if you were honest with me upfront?
DO you actually think I should cover for you if you lie to me and make me feel stupid?
While I have no major desire to be involved with married men, it has happened, but I knew the status going in because they were honest with me and I choose the things I say and do (and the way I do them) very carefully based on that knowledge.
It was a choice I made knowing the facts and what I could be dealing with. I will guard these men as fiercely and completely as I am able, due to the loyalty they have earned by their honesty with me.
I'd like to post some tips.....I have many, but I refuse to make it easier on liars and fakers, so I'll point out only the obvious, from the 3 losers that I know of.
Luckily, I was NOT involved with all 3 in R/T.
1) Do not withdraw money from your JOINT checking account at the ATM in the hotel lobby....especially when you are in a city an hour away from home and you are supposed to be at work.
2) Do not IM women from your JOINT account all day while your spouse is at work, and then be surprised when someone IM's your wife by mistake one evening.
3) Do not save all IM's and emails to said joint email acct.
4) Lock your damn cell 24/7 if you keep phone #'s/messages stored on there.
Sheesh...I am way to old to be dealing with this kinda shit.
I haven't replied to this woman, nor do I know if I am going to. Her hubby lied and told me he was single when I asked. She didn't find out about me(one of many) through any doing of mine. He was a one shot deal like most around here. I am curious how she got my personal email address though.
Grow up foolish little boys.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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Tagged by an angel....damn him!
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Posted:Oct 10, 2006 7:37 pm
Last Updated:Oct 9, 2014 8:06 pm 5442 Views
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The tagging instructions are as follows:
1. Grab the nearest book to you.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 4 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that cool or intellectual book in your closet I know you were thinking about it Just pick up whatever is closest.
6. Tag 2 people.
The nearest book to me at the moment is......
Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein
He doesn't have a place to put a collar,
And I'll admit it's rather hard to lead him,
And he cannot hear you call
For he has no ears at all,
But it doesn't cost a single cent to feed him.
Double-tail Dog is the poem....kinda funny considering the fella who tagged me!
Since I'm required to tag 2 I'll pick.......
orderup.....and....ursecretlvr
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Long live the queen!
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Posted:Sep 28, 2006 6:24 pm
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2019 6:03 pm 5789 Views
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My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic-looking woman hadn't moved a muscle.
"Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."
To which (I swear)the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you!
Tray up, Bitch."
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I, the Penis,
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Posted:Sep 27, 2006 4:35 pm
Last Updated:Dec 27, 2006 8:16 pm 5660 Views
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do hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark place that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
The response:
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after very brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take an initiative, you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave your work place rather messy after your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
Management
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