I am anger..I am rage...and I literally drowned in depression today
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Posted:Mar 23, 2024 6:34 pm
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2024 6:58 pm 4826 Views
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I will not bore you..
But this wave of depression literally washed me away..
I didn't not know I could ever be hurt
So hard..
That one crack and I emotionally let someone in..
And she literally drowned me.
And my rage,my anger...
Is gone.
I'm am no longer Mister E...I am just E ( Neil Gaimen dc comic reference).
I sit bro
Ken
At the end of times
Just a toy
Harmless
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Back to the lab and time to go down the other path
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Posted:Mar 23, 2024 7:55 am
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2024 5:36 pm 4020 Views
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This year will be different for me..
Maybe I just needed that subtle kick in the nuts by life.
I need a year of " leo"...before he vanishes..
I have yet a year before that dreaded dot physical comes up again..I've been to the doctors twice for pills in the past and nothing worked to lower my bp.
I actually need to go to the doctors and get on Prep..
So I can meet a cool guy.
I need that 305 bench press
I need to write those damn stories..that swim in my head..
And become that author
I need to just drive..rent a fucking car..take those paid time off days...and just
Drive.
I need to lose that weight and get down to 180 something.
I need to stop drinking..
Notice how none of these say
I deserve..
I don't deserve a good man...I don't deserve to lift 305...I don't deserve the best road trip ever..
I'm not Oprah and deserve to pop some drug to lose weight.
To obtain any of these
I must grind...as Leo
For one more year..
Before that part of me fades forever
I take that first step
On the new path.
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I'm bro ken and only chad remains
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Posted:Mar 22, 2024 8:46 pm
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2024 5:36 pm 3956 Views
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I honestly tried to make it work with my ex Domme..
I even went back multiple times.
Finally I had to walk away
Leo is officially gone and I've been
Hurt more
That I thought
Possible. I entered into a severe depression.
And the only way out of such a pit is a long and difficult climb..
I'm not sure if I can trust anyone again
My shields will be on max and my hand will be slapping leather...
At each new person I meet.
I must become that chad
That I fear I am
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Happy man..happy life..the joy of being single for a lot of men
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Posted:Mar 20, 2024 6:48 pm
Last Updated:Mar 22, 2024 12:45 pm 1924 Views
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Like it or not..
The old saying
Happy life..happy wife is going out the window..
Your thoughts..are you better off single?
I know I don't have to think as a "we"..
I am free to do the things that empower me and make me happy..
Nobody bitching about an adult male playing video games or spending too much time at the gym.
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Almost got into a fight at planet pizza..I wish I was joking
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Posted:Mar 16, 2024 4:50 pm
Last Updated:Mar 17, 2024 4:38 am 2299 Views
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I wish I was joking...but it was like living one of those bad gym memes..
I roll into planet fitness..one of the Smith machines are open.
I asked the bro if anyone is using it..
He says no..
I notice I only have 1 set of 45lb plates to bench..
I look over and this small arabic dude is on the leg press..
With..now get this 16 fucking 45 plates..
He stole every 45 plate from four stations..
So I don't say anything..do I few sets . I figured he'd finish and return the plates..
I see him just sitting there on his phone..
I confront him...
Cause I'm
That guy...like bro..you got every fucking plate in the gym..
Then I noticed the motherfucker took a 45 from my station..
So he starts getting bitchy...standing a whopping 5'7 and steroided out to the gills..admitted he took my plate and will take all my plates
I'm hardly Jack reacher..
But I'm not 5'7 either..
And then bro gets in my face and tries to chest bump me..
Complete with...
YOU WANNA GO BRAH....at 5'7
Yeah that happened..
I'm 5'11 220lbs of someone that acts like the world p issed in his cheerios anger.
I'm old school biblical p issed off old man c ant poop sorta anger
Before I swung on him..I go to the front desk for help.
This small female manager starts giving me this bs about how we all have to share the weight.
Share the weights..bro has every weight in the fucking gym.
The dude literally claimed I was discriminating against him cause I dared ask...
Bro if you can leg press 700lbs plus..what the fuck at you doing at a planet fitness..
That like asking Eddie hall and Brian Shaw what the f are you at planet pizza.
I then had a come to Jesus meeting with the female ,manager that refused to do anything to the guy despite him threatening me.
I told her she's lucky that dude didn't throw a punch..
Cause I would have thrown down..
A 5'7 roid rage idiot that thinks he can just take whatever..
Is a good way to get your ass beat..
And I'm nobody's b
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Are you a wordle fan
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Posted:Mar 12, 2024 8:02 pm
Last Updated:Mar 12, 2024 8:02 pm 2583 Views
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Long story short..
I h word the ny times and 5 letters words in general..
But omg..give me a 5 letter word with no s,t,r,n,m,o,I
And this game vexes me...
My starter word is always stomp..
And the answer will always be some word the goated wheel of fortune letters don't contain.
Like wtf wordel..don't you watch " wheel"..do you not have a shrine to pat or vanna white???
Are you not american????
so you make me grind for some psedoeurpean word for
Gasy..
Plop,plop,fizz,fizz.
But that isn't even 5 words
Hold up..
Let me americonize
It for you..
The word your looking for is..
Crappy?
Shitty?
DumbAF
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So how to change the lifestyle
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Posted:Mar 7, 2024 6:50 pm
Last Updated:Mar 20, 2024 6:13 pm 3585 Views
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I concluded..
The best way to make a change is to give them what they want..yet..give them what they really need
/ that change you wish to inspire..
Let that sink in
On one episode of sharktank/ dragon's den a lady was looking for investors for her tomato sauce.
She proudly exclaimed they were now in Wal-Mart.
I think it was Kevin Leary that said
So What? Your now 1 jar amongst 30 brands..
You accomplished nothing.
On another episode another lady was pimping a Jamaican sauce.
She proudly proclaimed how authentic it is..esp in britian..
An investor reminder her that not too many Jamaican live in England and how her product will end up in the international section of most supermarkets..limiting its access and appeal
Meaning..you need to be part of the bigger market..
Yet don't go niche...but you need to stand out
Now apply this lesson to kink,erotica writing...
I need to keep in mind those fans of erotica and what they enjoy..
Yet giving them something uniquely
Well your boy...
Not only slightly changing their desire for smut..
But growing it's access to other readers and markets..
If you want greazzzzy......I can do greasy..
But I want you to also think..
I want you to experience the lifestyle through
My eyes..
I want you to say..fuck...that motherfucker dude is deep AF...
Cause I am
That
Deep
Mfer
I am
Leo..
Duh..maybe your finally ready to listen?
My mission?
Is to change how you consume the lifestyle..
You want kink,you want stories?
I'm the greasy hustler..probably the greasiest ass,dirty mfer ever to peddle smut..
But I'm gonna change you.
I am what you crave
But I'm the change
You need..
I'm Leo
And I'm out to
Change the lifestyle..
In my world..
It will be more casual..more open..
It's time to burn some bridges
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Getting back to writing...and trying to change the world
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Posted:Mar 3, 2024 7:08 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2024 4:20 am 4300 Views
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There are people that dream
And there are people that enjoy crushing others dreams.
I said previously that I'm not a writer.
I'm not a happy camper just grinding on an old school typewriter to 3 in the morning.
I'm just good at understanding people and knowing what they need.
But I'm thinking of getting a small desk for my bedroom. I'm thinking it might help ground me and get me back into writing my stories.
The funny thing is I told my ex about the stories...
Her reply was...how can you think of yourself as so clever when you don't even have your stories written down?
Yes she can be that blunt
To her
And people like her
Writing isnt a process,it's not art,it's not therapy..
It's not writing unless it's prepackaged and sold multiple times on amazon...
Like her former Dom's book..
Funny
To me this isnt a side hussle or a 2nd job.
I'd be happy to just attach my name and hopefully someone enjoys it.
I don't want the traditional erotica audience...
Cause I want to change
Erotica
The lifestyle
To me kink
Isn't kink..
I told you I am
Different.
And I wish to introduce a new brand
That is more inclusive for everyone
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Road tripping w the ex Domme
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Posted:Mar 2, 2024 6:25 am
Last Updated:Mar 3, 2024 6:07 am 4452 Views
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Well I'm not throwing the baby out w the bathwater..
So I asked the ex if she still wanted to go on some road trips this summer.
I have some cash,23 plus paid days off of work...
And an itching to just
Drive and explore..go all American lampoons vacation like the grizwalds.
So I asked and she is game.
Plus these wouldn't be like drive out to California sort trips..
More likely a day drive trips
And maybe a 3-4 day trip if we wanted to stay over.
So from KC...that's like a range of Dallas to the south..Atlanta to the east Chicago to the north and Denver etc to the east..
Maybe someone has some suggestions..
Have you ever road tripped with an ex..
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6
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Stomache virus..WORSE than covid
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Posted:Mar 1, 2024 5:06 am
Last Updated:Mar 1, 2024 6:13 pm 4609 Views
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So yeah....I've been off the boards of late due to getting that stomache virus.
Now I'm a pretty strong,healthy boy...I rarely get sick...
But last week I was running on fumes...had the weekend off..
Put up my best numbers ever at the gym on saturday
And crashed into bed....couldn't get out of bed sunday..
My stomache ached,I had the squirts...I slept for almost 20 hours...It felt like I was food posioned..
I got up Monday morn and kinda slept through work...Tuesday and Wednesday came and I felt great..
Only to still be tired...went to bed Thursdays night...got that same queasy belly again and rode the toilet..
Some throw up..some just get diarrhea..some get both..
But id say this is WORSE than covid...
So please stay away if you can..
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