Passive~agressive?
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Posted:Mar 25, 2023 8:14 am
Last Updated:Apr 1, 2023 12:16 am 8004 Views
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Is it possible for a dominant to learn from a / his submissive?
Appearently, i had some sort of conversation, a while ago......
The other person did not react back, only after some time....
I was totally forgotten about this 'contact'...
Or is it an insult to their domly domlyness...
To have to stoop soo low....
To acknowledge the fact that most submissives have a brain of their own, and in working order, too?
That learning from his submissive/ slave, is far to low for him...?
How dare she to implicate he nééds to learn a thing or two???
Even, maybe, from the submissive?
Or, is this too, again some sort of ego game? Again?
Domly domly ness......
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18
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On fet,
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Posted:Mar 24, 2023 1:47 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2023 6:33 am 8122 Views
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There was this question.
When and how did you found out, you are a slave?
In the group; 24/7 living it, day by day.
(Not the role play act, lifestyle act)
I did not safe the writing, oeps!)
It was really great to read about women, in a 24/7 loving, caring relationship, with that special power/authority exchange.
It brought me back to a play contact, a scene, that went terribly wrong,
although i had told my hard limits,
him, not recognising subspace,
breaking all kind of hard limits....
Men, what a mess that was.........
When he had left the building, leaving me behind in a mess, mentally and physicially.
I cried a lot, ( i am not a crying kind of person)
Thén, at that moment, i realised, i could never be "just a play~bedroom submissive".
Althought, that scene went really bad,
He was really not suited for the "role" hehehehe, not!
I realised, that kind of sexual related actions would never, ever satisfy me,
not even physically.
Because of lack of connection, on the mental part, FIRST.
Thén, came the realisisation, i am not a bedroom submissive.
Those role play boys?
Totally not attractive!!
They cant give me anything.
Not able to reach my mind,
where my submissive comes from.
NOT from between my legs, or any other body part.
and ever since that realisation.
Trying to talk about this, leaves those boys speechless.
Huh? What?
Tis was suppose to go, about sex! their dicks!!
MIND?
WTH....
calling me al kind of names, scammer, domina !
My all time favorite:
Not A Real Submissive....
I know, what i am.
So, since most men, want to enter this whole circuit from the bedroom play act/sex
and do not give much about whó this person is...
And me, wanting and needing to go from the dating stage, getting to know the whole person first....
Not giving much about "their fetishes" ....
I am, for sure, are not going to talk to, with a stranger about my deepest needs and wants, on the D/s~M/s scale, let alone on the sexual scale
To a stranger??
To me, that is like walking up, to someone in line at the grocery counter and telling her, him, my sexual desires?
Or someone in a shop, or someone at the busstop!?
What is wrong with those dudes?
ego drivin, lazy fucks
ego drivin, lazy as fuck vanilla boys, without any knowledge of the rules accourding to this kind of dating.
Totall lack of respect and understanding for the submissive person/ woman
My humble oppinion.
It made me feel very happy, to read about those women, telling about their first staps of awareness, of being or wanting to be HIS slave,
In a leadership orientated relationship, with lots of love and fun, and the daily errands to run, too.
.
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6
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True nature,
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Posted:Mar 24, 2023 1:14 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2023 6:34 am 6411 Views
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All you, who ever, needs to do, is give them some space....
Or, let them ramble on....
Or maybe they make that impression, in their own heads.....?
Sooner then later, they will reveal their true colours.
be it passive- aggressive, or down right rude.
And, most of all, lazy as fuck!
Think, this is tinder or some sort place... all they have to do is swipe and then let the ladys will do all the works.
this not anywhere near vanilla dating!
LAZY AS FUCK~
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3
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I did it!
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Posted:Mar 21, 2023 1:08 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2023 6:34 am 7053 Views
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You must know, i can be very sensitive for all kind of stress situations.
So, i had this online stuff to be delivered at my house.
Or in some far a way village... NOT going to happen.
So, i arranged to get it delivered at my home adress.
They send me the time frame.
Panick fase 4!
Huuh?Oh! No!
so, i contact the shop again, they cant help me any futher.....
I had to 'babysit' at the hours they wanted to deliver the stuff...
So, i contact the deliverycompany.
And, i can change the day and time
Of the delivery!!
I am ever soo happy!
All the stress is slowly leaving my body.
Sighs of relieve...
Life can be soo simple!
With such a simple action! i am totally happy!!
I did it! 
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7
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SAD and well meant friends?
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Posted:Mar 19, 2023 2:25 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2023 6:34 am 7582 Views
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SAD is actually a lack of some brain chemicals
"normal" brains, of other peoples, do not get this.
They might not really like the autunm and winter, but they can handle it
maybe even enjoy it...
Are maybe a bit slow, tired
BUT nothing mental
So there is this disbalance in my brains.
This starts, reveals it, during puberty
WIth the change of hormones in the brains, and girls become women,
menstrual cycle, getting breast, hair in strange places.....
So, while as a girl you are coping with these big changes,
i did get the SAD symptoms to deal with, too!
It felt like my body was betraying me.
It was, or had nothing to do, with who i am.
It felt like a fucked up, sick trick!!
So, around 14 i got to deal with this, every FFF winter again!
I always, all those years, did search for what it was, talked to my aunt, because she was a stable source of knowledge about the family history...
Year, after year, i went to my doctor, explained the why and how
And every FF year they send me away!
Only after i threated to commit suicide , this doctor send me to a psychologist.
I got to this doctor, i get into her chamber, sit down, i am almost on the verge of tears......
I telll her just a very little, small part of how i feel, every autunm, winter time again...
She looked at me, told me; girl, there is nothing wrong with you.
It are those doctors they have been wrong, to try to put you on antidepression "medication"
Thát is the worst to do!
With SAD people!
For the first time, i felt accepted.
Understood.
a very heavy weight fell of my shoulders
At the same time, i did became very, very angry with all those lazy fuck upped doctors!!
How in hell, did they dare to act like that!!
FF criminals!!
Ingorance is no bliss!!
GGGgggrrrrr
So, i had a name to my symptoms
I finally got to understand what happened in my body, brain.
Stil no cure, but this was a start.
Then i became part of a rollor coaster trip to all kind of tests....
I was tired like hell, because those tests needed to be done, in the midst of my SAD,
dragge meself to the hospital ...
Test, test test...
And, then came the desillusion.
There is a very, very small percentage of people, who dont react to the daylight therapy - lamps!!
I fellt soo teriible sad, down, when i got that outcome!!
MAD, too, again!!
I just want it to end it all!!
ENOUGH!!
So, after some days of very heavy depression....
feeling like i was with my back against, up to the wal, nowere to go!
Nowhere to heal, too
I put myself, together again,
Researched all and everything i could to find some kind of medication, herbal, anything!!
Tried soo many new supplements, every time there was something new on the market, i bought it, tried it.
I really made some companies rich!!
N.O.T.H.I.N.G. W.O.R..K.E.D!
And now i have these.. well, they call themselfs my friends......
Wanting to 'heal me' from my SAD.
I can not get more angry, when such ignorance twits, think with their microscopic small brains, that they can cure this!!
I am on the ferge of explosion!!
And, i did explain to them, how SAD works, brainwise, mental wise...
Murderous angry!!
How dare they!
Anyway....
I decided to ignore them.
This hurts me, you know?
I became fulnerable, to explain all this stuff and this is their reaction>?
To show all my pain, about this...
Years ago... and now this??
Yeah, Yeah, dont come telling me, they mean well!
Nó! They dont!
This is all about them, not mé!! 
Soo many people, "all meant well", trying, without really understanding, to "cure" me.
Before long, they want to pray for my healing!! god forbid!
Real sunshine, is all that works on my brain unbalance.
My brain does not go, for the chemical, artificial 'sun'light of those daylight lamps
When i was in Portugal and Spain too, worked there, also in what is called winter time
I never had any symptoms of this SAD, ever!!
I was, mé, again!
So well balanced, so full of energy, ever sooo happy!
Mé -
not this SAD person, who is very alien to my core being.
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13
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Still a bit off....
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Posted:Mar 19, 2023 1:36 pm
Last Updated:Mar 20, 2023 8:54 am 7517 Views
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Offcourse!
Got sick, last friday.
My god, it is not nice to have to care for yourself, when you/i feel too bad to do anything!!
Not nice.
And i am the kind of person, who does not ask for help, in such case.
It does not make me feel better...
It is only more hassle.
Although my friends, will be good and act caring and want to help.
I cant be bothered, to have to explain how i make myself better...
What my modus operandi is....
Neti pot, a lot of herbal tea, honey, garlic honey, Iit tastes horrible!
A lot of sleep and feeling weak!!!
terrible weak!!
I still lose weigth and not eating, because too sick, to cook... = is not a good idea.
i am on starvation, all most- not really! ofcourse!
BUT, that is how it feels!!
Tomorrow, i will buy a lot of food, to give me strenght, again.
gonna eat, the whole day long!
munching!!
Make muffins, pancakes, omelette... when i have the strenght again.....
Take pauses, while baking etc.....
Tomorrow, i feel much better again,... bleagh.....
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11
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Eye candy,
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Posted:Mar 18, 2023 11:08 pm
Last Updated:Mar 21, 2023 12:16 am 7096 Views
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There is this shop.
He works there ...
My, god!! is he eye candy, for me. LOL
Just looking at him, makes me totally happy..
feels so good....
objectifying?
Sexistic crap?
The reverse world??
I don't care, i don't give a bliep....
The way he looks at me.....
Hmmmm....
Such a innocent action..... gives me such a joy!
Feel good. 😇
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14
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Snow~ now~
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Posted:Mar 10, 2023 2:59 pm
Last Updated:Mar 16, 2023 3:40 pm 8480 Views
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it is really beautiful.
I will admit that.
And,still i dont like it. at all.
it is such a mess, such a hassle...
watch out, dont fall, dont break a hip, or any other body part...
Make a postcard of it, send iy to me, and i wil ever be sooo happy.
To never see real snow again...
I mean it!!
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6
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I am sad,
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Posted:Mar 10, 2023 5:25 am
Last Updated:Mar 12, 2023 12:05 am 8749 Views
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This person wrote to me.
ALl he could talk about was, how he saw things,
teling me, we wont have any sex.(?) Oh?
he wanted to come to holland, talk with me.
staying in a hotel, wont sleep with me.(?)
Did not ask me anything.
And nowhere, did he ask me , anything!!
i mentioned that twice.
It is "nice" you tell me, how and what you want
But you forget one thing.
You should ask me.
Were is your interest in mé as a person?
How i see this, that and the other.
In no way did he show any interest in mé.
strange? isnit?
After i told him, i am done, with this conversation, explaining again, the why and how.
He all get nasty.
passive-agressive...threatening shudders, nasty shit!
God, i am soo sick and tired of those guys, claiming to bé dominant....  amp; amp; amp;
Egoisitic pricks!
nauseous.
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16
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SNOW!!!!
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Posted:Mar 10, 2023 5:05 am
Last Updated:Mar 11, 2023 11:49 pm 7926 Views
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I was allready getting mentally, ready for spring,
But, now we have a lot of snow, overhere!!
Not normal, soo much snow!!!
That makes a bike ride an whole other adventure!
It was great, to be on the bike, slipping a sliding!!
Not all roads are clean.
It was great, to follow the tire tracks, altough it was also a bit scary,
going from one track to an other.....
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6
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