Close Please enter your Username and Password
Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
Password reset link sent to
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service

A New Box of Crayons

i've decided to share....

Awwww.......
Posted:Aug 25, 2007 2:52 pm
Last Updated:Oct 3, 2007 6:42 am
13117 Views

i think i'm a little bit in love with that there Calvin Borel He's so cute and enthusiastic, and Y/you can just tell he has a great relationship with his .

Street Sense won the Travers Stakes at the Spa today.
1 comment
Well now....
Posted:Aug 16, 2007 8:56 pm
Last Updated:Aug 27, 2007 10:35 am
12854 Views

...that was most interesting, and enlightening interlude.
1 comment
Delayed Reaction
Posted:Aug 15, 2007 7:15 pm
Last Updated:May 25, 2013 5:31 pm
11379 Views

a.k.a. the "This sucks" blog.

warning: rant ahead

*************************************************

It has been my experience that, someone usually gets hurt. Even when SomeOne is trying not to. i think that might make it worse. This sucks.

*************************************************

i say:

It's ok

No problem

No big deal

It matters not

i'm fine

when:

It's fucking NOT ok

It IS a problem

It DOES matter

and i'm NOT fine. i'm fucked up, insecure and neurotic. i'm sad and depressed and angry. i'm scared and lonely. i think it must be my problem. i can't, or won't open up. i wonder why that is? After all i would hate to be called an irrational female. This sucks.

*************************************************

i have also noticed, that amongst my watched blogs. P/people seem to be having quite a bit of sex. Not everyO/one, but most. i am not. That sucks.

*************************************************

my cat just hacked up a hairball, all over the carpet. That sucks.

*************************************************

All i ever wanted, was for someOne to put me first. i'm beginning to think that that is to much to ask. That sucks.

*************************************************

i am soooooooooo feeling sorry for myself right now, and that sucks.

*************************************************

Soundtrack for a weepy evening? The Commodores:

Sweet Love
Just to be Close to You
Easy
3 Times a Lady
Sail On
Still
Oh No

They don't suck.
3 Comments
Tonight.....
Posted:Jul 25, 2007 7:58 pm
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2007 6:29 am
8626 Views

i said a final good-bye to One friend,

and,

grew closer to Another.

Now why do i want to break out into a rousing chorus of "Circle of Life"?
5 Comments
There's something about.......
Posted:Jul 7, 2007 5:32 pm
Last Updated:Sep 8, 2007 1:19 pm
9534 Views

...curtains, that just makes a place feel homey

In all honesty, i must add this; now i consider myself to be a capable, competent woman of the new millenium. i can plan a dinner party for 8 in a snap, charm bikers and businessmen with aplomb, put together a cute outfit on a budget, put oil in my car, and figure out how to hook up my DSL. However, when it comes to tools.....i am at a complete loss. Now i'm not even talking those fancy tools either, like...ummm, like...well i don't even know what those would be.....but i'm talking simple tools, my God it took ages to hang the curtain rods, and that was only 4 screws. In my defense hower, i did not have an electric drill and had to use pure, brute strength *flexs*...damn those walls are sturdy. So, W/who wants to bring T/their power tools and come help me hang the bedroom curtains?
1 comment
All moved in....
Posted:Jul 7, 2007 3:32 pm
Last Updated:Sep 8, 2007 1:13 pm
10042 Views

Well THAT sucked!!!!

Will someO/one please remind me the next time i think of moving DONT DO IT!!!! Geesh Thanks for everyO/one's lovely comments, sorry i'm so behind on responding. my goodness i'm outta the loop for a few days and everyO/one's blogged like crazy. Gotta go, i have a lot of catching up to do. Many kisses,

rayne
4 Comments
i don't understand...
Posted:Jun 24, 2007 8:53 pm
Last Updated:Jun 24, 2007 8:55 pm
7652 Views

why everyO/one keeps leaving me.

disclaimer, nothing to do with the previous post.....something that just happened, i am devestated, and hurt and crying and i can't figure out what i did wrong, and i don't know how to make it right, or if i even can.
0 Comments
Is a lesson still a lesson?........
Posted:Jun 24, 2007 5:07 pm
Last Updated:Jul 11, 2007 4:59 pm
8866 Views

..if He's probably not even aware that He's doing it? At least, i don't think He knows.

So i have been DYING to hear back from this Dom that i recently corresponded with. He sent me a very nice e-mail on Thursday, saying that He was looking forward to getting to know me. i think great, woohoo, happy sub dance and all that jazz.

So, ok, now here it is SUNDAY!!!!!! and He hasn't contacted me *insert very sad face* So, what with my new attitude i've got going on, rather than being upset, or frustrated, i am trying to put this in the proper perspective and view it as a "good" thing. This is teaching me to be humble. This is teaching me to be patient. This is teaching me that i await His convenience; He is not at my beck and call.

Does it even matter if He knows, as long as i am learning? Am i teaching myself? Am i growing?


*grumbling just a little bit...this being a good sub stuff is hard sometimes*
5 Comments
A New Leaf
Posted:Jun 20, 2007 8:43 pm
Last Updated:Aug 6, 2007 6:16 am
8732 Views

....i am NOT a brat!!!!!

That statement in and of itself just screams bratiness....it conjures up images of pouting, foot stomping and huffiness. And i should know.

The time has come however, to put away the bratty card. i am serious about myself, and serious about my submission. i have realized that i don't want a little slap and tickle in the bedroom and that is that. i want, need and deserve a true Dominant Alpha Male. The same Ones' who find bratting to be not charming at all, but merely an affectation by someone with tendencies to top from the bottom. i got used to having things my own way. i want to find someOne to trust enough to let His way, be the way.

i need to be what i want. if i want a serious, thoughtful, caring, and patient Dom, then i need to be a serious, thoughtful, caring and patient sub. i need to mute the smart-ass button, and think before i speak.

A wise Domme once told me that i come off as defensive. i didn't really understand Her at the time, but now i see that i use humor as a defense mechanism...laugh it off...don't let anyOne see Your insecurities or vulnerability.

my conundrum, if Y/you will lies in not surpressing the exuberance that is i, yet not coming across as the aforementioned brat. This is a wonderful medium, yet it lacks inflection. i will work on it. i think i will err on the side of caution for now, and see how things pan out.

i love this Lifestyle, and i love being a submissive woman. i am happy and proud of who and what i am.

i am a good submissive.

i think i could be a great one with the proper guidance and care. So today will mark a renewal of my journey, and a recommitment to the ideals that i hold dear. i shall strive to honor myself, and the D/s ideals that i treasure. i will behave in a calm and respectful manner to the best of my abilities. i am me, however, and know that there will be times when my "bratty twin" will come to the fore. i will come back and read this post to re-center myself, and rely on my trusted F/friends to see me through.

So......is this really a new me?.....or is it the revealing of the true me?
6 Comments
The Green Dog
Posted:Jun 18, 2007 6:17 pm
Last Updated:Jul 11, 2007 4:11 pm
7942 Views

i got this in an e-mail today. Words to live by.

1. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

2. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing
you can't have them.

3. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

4. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

5. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

6. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
1 comment

To link to this blog (softrayne) use [blog softrayne] in your messages.