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Blogs > thebigbadteddy > My Blog

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My BDSM household
Posted:Sep 9, 2015 4:00 am
Last Updated:May 9, 2024 3:48 am
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My growth and understanding as the head of my house

I have been involved in the BDSM lifestyle most of my adult life. As a young adult it was all about play with as many as I could and try as many things as possible. After a few hard and fast years I thought I knew it all and thought that I wasn't ever going to stop. Then I met a girl who was a new challenge she challenged me to try a new lifestyle being very vanilla. After that relationship ended I knew neither extreme was for me. I found I craved balance. I knew I needed to take control. I know that I am Dominant. I know that I am still growing and I know what I require in my house.

First let me explain the terms I used and how I feel a hierarchy should be

Dominant – someone who thrives on control can be male or female, they understand the whole picture of how to grow themselves and those they care for.
Master/Mistress – Someone who specialises in an area of domination
Top – someone who is into Dominating but is interested controlling play scenes

Slave – Someone who is prepared to give complete control of their life to there Dominant
Sub – Someone who gives up control in areas of their life to a Dominant
Bottom – someone who gives up control during play.

Switch – can take any role other than Dominant or Slave

I understand not everyone want to live a full time lifestyle but I have reached a point in my life where I am looking for someone to train to my personal taste. My personal preference is for someone prepared to give up true control. I find true submission sexually arousing I also have times where I enjoy letting my inner sadist free. I am looking forward to finding the balance I crave with the right slave for me.

I have spent time considering the rules I live by in my household

GENERAL RULES

All subs within the household will respect the Dominant members of the house. Bratty thoughts are acceptable but you subs will always show respect

When serving food or beverages the sub will ensure that in public that the Dom is always taken care of
in public the sub will wait until thanked by Dom however long it takes
in private the sub will kneel before me eyes down offerings raised waiting for the Doms approval

The sub is always in submission to the Dom but when the sub is not able to communicate directly with the Dom they will act in accordance with the Doms wishes.

The sub will wear the Doms collar when possible but will keep the collar with her at all times she will wear an item representing the shared bond of Dom and sub

The sub is welcome to make any friends. The friends must not be detrimental to the well being of the sub.
Even in an open relationship the sub will place the relationship with the Dom as the primary relationship taking precedence over all others

The sub will always request permission to orgasm

The sub must trust the Dom to have the subs best interest at heart. To ensure that the Dom has all the information to the sub must always be honest with the Dom no matter how humiliating or insignificant it may seem

the sub will always thank the Dom for all they are given pleasure gifts cum or punishments

the sub will always admit to any transgressions of the rules and will take the punishments accordingly

the sub will obey the spirit of the rules not the exact wording of the rules

the sub will in private wait until given to permission to use furniture

The sub will keep a journal of her thoughts and experiences every day

These rules are just the base for how I see a household should be based as time and experience with each sub will shape the rules to fit an actual life but these rules seem to best outline what I am looking for

Sir Todd
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