Taking libations! Maddness over method !
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Posted:Feb 19, 2024 1:45 pm
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2024 2:31 pm 5481 Views
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I'd built up a trust with the b7y sharing his morning long walks through the bush.
We'd decided to give him a surprise and on that day I took him out to a friend of mine who had a small studio where he arranged and put together his new age music.
The boy boggled at the sea of controls but liked to play with the instruments he was given to try.
Music would become the cure basically and seeing the k*ds joy at producing sound reminded me at how wrong I'd got it when growing up.
There it was silence that drew me into conflict with time.
My silent world memories still haunted me and how different it should have been made me postulate about if i'd taken a different track and avoided the road I'd taken.
When we arrived back the b8ys own studio had been setup waiting for his surprised look, and after some time he seated himself at the drum set and played along to the music I was playing.
So I was doing my job, progressing along the lines of a cure and one day who knew where it would go. maybe survival as people often succumbed to mental diseases.
A short life of highs and lows.
I was being taken along on a much higher level now, a kind of uncharted territory. Still music though and it gave me ideas about the whole scheme of things, that by taking a glorious step to perfection was the goal of the creator.
Yes that was it, I would help the b*y to be cured and continue on my own road.
The thing was time could be bearable if there was music.
Time and music went hand in hand, a perfect symbiosis in my experience.
Everything went well and even when the boy dropped into one of his fits and destroyed some stuff it was no bother righting things up again.
Playing music was a frustration till you got the hang of it. I thought of 'Garbage' (the band) destroying guitars and other stuff involving the desecration of pianos.
Destroying that musical sh!t was normal behavior!
Later that night I was spending time with the b&y and the destruction he'd dome rested on his mind and he was accustomed to receiving a punishment from his uncle for acting up.
Did he expect the same? One thing I loved about spending time in the military was being massaged after a tough day training and I thought that was the best treatment.
I told the b*y to just relax and that triggered him to jump to the fridge for some ginger beer that was doped with his medicine.
He threw me a bottle of it and my mind raced about what was in it.
I thought 'what the hell' as I twisted the top off and took a sip of that cold beverage.
It was good !
I imagined the k*d was addicted to it.
I explained to him how the massage would work and he removed his shirt and lay face down on the bed.
I got to work employing all the favorite moves I felt on me, paying attention to working out from the spine to the shoulders and the b*y was soon in a pleasant rapturous state,
I was working my hands down lower and asked him to unzip his pants to let me work right down his spine to the buttocks.
The way it had been for me.
His nice little buns would work as I did the massage.
He silently motioned me to stop getting up and going to the closet to fish around in before producing the cane.
I assumed it was the one his uncle used and then he re-positioned himself on the bed as he was lowering his pants this time to expose his little butt.
I guessed this was a habit I was now expected to take over from his uncle.
His body a little tensed up now at expecting the punishment.
I would not be acting up with anything harsh as I knew how bad that was by my own experience.
I would be kind about administering the 'justice' for the days misbehaviors.
I gave his rump a massage with my hand before giving the first stroke then massaged that too, building up gradually.
Soon I could see him getting pleasantly stimulated and working into the high he was used to at his uncles hands.
I was enjoying watching him taking it remembering the highs I'd been given myself.
I remembered getting around the golf course after I'd taken a good beating the night before and reaching down to get the ball out of the hole was a wicked thing I felt in my reddened butt cheeks.
So I decided the b*y could enjoy that on his next morning walk!
I gave it to him good and put a reddened smile to his cute little buttocks, the boy tightened in rapture his face taut and his mind locked by the hard thrashing that was being given to him.
His face drwn tight and tears ran down the red of his face,
Then I stopped consoling him a if the punishment was cruel on me too, and I was glad it was done.
I gave him another warming massage and along his back and shoulders then working lower to his rump which was noticeably warmer now !
This brought back some memories from the past, some still strange and hideous at the hands of deluded , sexually obsessed miscreants!
Then it was my own eyes that became damp. I remember one game using my kicks as defense and having to expose my target in doing so.
Then not being able to even get close he used the short whip to 'wear me down' as he put it !
It was sick, but I couldn't help going back for more !
It was my father whose beatings took me on that journey and I understood the ones on the same journey.
It was an emotional rediscovery for me.
Eventually he calmed down ready for sleep and I left him like that and snuck out the door.
Of course my scientist friend would be told about everything and I would be advised about his protocol.
The plan must be stuck to or improvements wouldn't be achieved.
I'd be given another job for getting out of order. 
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Uncovering regressed memories.
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Posted:Feb 18, 2024 1:05 pm
Last Updated:Feb 26, 2024 1:21 am 6327 Views
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I was temporarily between jobs with nothing to do really when my scientist friend said he could use a second opinion about his treatments and since I'd been there myself I may be able to shed some light on their experiments.
So I went out to the farm and it was so beautiful to out in the cool crisp and clean air.
The scientist showed me the work they'd been doing and the results they were getting.
The progressions they'd made with the thin paranoid schizophrenic.
It seemed like a lost cause to me and I talked about what it was like to turn the corner on the disease and that I didn't think the b&y had it in him to do as I did.
The scientist heard me out emotionless and maybe agreeing with me and then he told me about recent things they'd found.
That the boy would regress to another time in a rural setting in what seemed to be Tudor times and they had crude ways back then to make the servants tow the line, with castigation, religious duties and Omg I thought about the woes that had gone on in the church.
The scientist took a tape from the collection he had and popped it in to play, I suddenly felt trapped like a captive audience but my curiosity trapped me in my seat.
They'd recreated the ancient punishment to transport the B8y back to his previous life, and this all took place in a lofty barn and goats and chickens were there to complete the illusion.
The boy was handled by period dressed servants under the orders of the master of the house and they soon had him stripped, protesting against the crime he was committed of.
Then the pulley blocks were put into service and the boy was hoisted by the ankles up in the air.
I could easily imagine how the boy felt at being naked, not able to cover himself and to face the torment of being brutally whipped like that.
I felt transported back to when I had the disease and this type of thing thrilled me.
It would send me on a high too. Better than anything I'd felt before.
It would also trigger the more powerful catatonic state and emotional responses too.
It reminded me that my emotions had mostly died since being cured.
Part of me wanted to go back to who I was and feel the delight of being "sick".
The boy was taking the strokes fighting the demons in his head and seeing the chamber maids in his periphery watching on.
They giggled with each other at the boy's silly little bum, barely an ass at all.
The ass was gaining the most attention from the whip now and the painful red stripes could be seen.
"The b*y agreed to it!" Was what the scientist said allaying my concerns.
No doubt I thought I could have been over the moon from such a thing.
Apart from making a 'porno' I wondered what was the point.
Maybe to show the starting point from which a cure would progress from.
Something stirred deep within me though, a repressed memory perhaps and an excitement was definitely still there within me.
Later that night over dinner and wine I felt more like divulging what I'd felt when watching the video.
That in some way I missed the highs I once had. It was never fully explained to me what I'd be losing when offered a cure. I'd lost a huge part of myself. 
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Outlining paradise !
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Posted:Feb 17, 2024 1:05 pm
Last Updated:Feb 17, 2024 4:19 pm 5908 Views
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It felt like the sixties again, some would say , but this time the establishment was in disarray.
Let the people eat and enjoy their cake was all they could do.
I gave my scientist friend everything I'd collected on my trip to the Lhc and half expected him to chuck it in the bin after perusing it saying it's just a 'bang up' job to deflect from the real experiment happening behind closed doors there.
The one to do with time warpage.
I'd be rewarded for my efforts though and was given a long session on the 'accumulator' a name I jokingly gave the machine.
It reorganized the brain function, stimulating the frontal cortex.
It made me feel enlivened and young again and it was easy to feel sexy again and I was amazed at how hard I'd get.
It was like being back in real time, life was a thrilling game again.
I'd slip into computations and be able to rotate my images through a third angle of projection.
I was the product like a Frankenstein creation and would help turn a profit one day too.
He could sell his machine once it was proven to work and it would transform people completely.
Something the '60's couldn't do.
It was easy to imagine how living was supposed to be. Like awakening in the garden of Eden to be blissfully aware of existing.
You needed nothing more!
Your mind and heart would become interconnected in the way the Kim Peek was showing.
The mind would be given free will and the minds hunger to learn would be unhindered.
My habits had drastically changed since being on the 'program' and now I'd be seeking to learn more at any odd time of the day.
I saw that in the average persons life the barrage of pointless distractions. Abusing the gift they'd been given, the one that had the profoundness and breadth of a universe.
We were all much the same however few would ever know what it was to be fully switched on. My favorite part was how life became unapologetically sexy.
No matter what I was working on I felt that sexy cushion always by my side.
It nurtured and stimulated me.
It turned the brain on too and the brain activity expanded exponentially.
No longer struggling to remember things and in this new state you felt like a third party watching on as the mind did all the hard work only sending you what you could understand.
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"Brainwashed!"
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Posted:Feb 16, 2024 9:56 am
Last Updated:May 10, 2024 12:00 am 5914 Views
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The '60's were relatively liberal times. You drank from a bottle as you drove, a coke or something stronger, no one gave a sh&t.
Roads were quiet and no get rich prospects to make a buck. Girls were a lot thinner and Elvis made movies. Smoking too, lots of it !!!!
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What is "waking up?'
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Posted:Feb 15, 2024 8:51 pm
Last Updated:Feb 16, 2024 9:38 am 5679 Views
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I'm finding a quest for knowledge that I never had before.
I theorized about what drove Kim Peek to want to learn.
I just didn't know, but as I became more like him because of the "activation" program I began to understand how the allure could work.
Firstly that the brain can find itself in a rut, a condition or occurrence you feel/suffer the effects off but you cannot escape it.
I've been there.
So Kim's wild accumulative of knowledge may be that he was hoping to find a cure.
An insatiable desire to be cured.
It would be like being stuck in a dream with no escape.
But I did escape and now experience something I'd read about, and that is once you'd tamed your personality you could be free of its controlling you.
Then you'd experience a clarity of mind by escaping the clutches of your demanding personality.
Maybe you wouldn't be seen as a target anymore as no target could be seen in you.
Maybe now a peaceful glow would have taken its place and you do see others differently and it now looks black and white on how they were suffering with their own personality.
You'd like to help them out, to step out of the chains that locked them in place so they also could indulge in the peace.
So amassing a knowledge bank was not my prerogative but it did fascinate me, the way people had succumbed to evil intentions.
As a new threat is set to decimate populations (a candida) I wondered about what's befallen people in the past and what history was being uncovered.
Blame was heaped on Columbus for transporting Syphilis but uncovering the bones from earlier than that uncovers that it was well established before Columbus ever set sail.
Another Mandela effect you may say. You may not agree with this effect either , I distinctly remember Mandela becoming President once released from the Island.
Also I feel the pull of another age, one that I participated in.
One that Shakespeare would have strung his traps in, in the hope of catching game. Maybe a trout to take home to delight his parents.
I guess that's my true home.
We don't get near deather's claiming to come back from the future. Do we?
If we did that would add to the simulation debate.
Point to how there's no time on the other side.
That the you, past present future exits all on one plane.
Why not? Boadicea was fighting the Syphilis bearers!  The Romans had it at that time! In Pompeii's archeology !
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The Protocol at cern and the incident.
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Posted:Feb 15, 2024 3:37 pm
Last Updated:Feb 16, 2024 2:51 pm 5612 Views
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I was told to keep the name tag on and clearly visible and to not disturb anyone.
His movements were perhaps related to the incident that made them panic and shut it down.
Now a new countdown and the next tests would be done in less than two months.
It was exciting and everyone was on their toes busily checking things.
From what I'd been told there was an electromagnetic anomaly at turn two where energy had escaped and had caused a ripple, a time warp perhaps and a time portal had momentarily been opened.
The mass of energy was an attractor for anything that fed on energy.
The idea was that they'd aimed for things to go a planned way toward feeding data from the great 'eye' the collector.
They quickly arranged a meeting and they were all seated around the table sucking on their pens waiting for one of them to open up the discussion about what it was.
"Gravity waves" suggested one, on a scale like we've never seen before.
Everyone of them knew about Leyden's spinning balls and the shocked faces of the lookers when they felt the shocks from the spinning balls.
It was like finding a forbidden power and the mind boggled at the consequences.
Maybe they'd taken one step too far once again picking a forbidden fruit from God's garden.
But now it wasn't exactly crystal clear what they were doing.
Another Philadelphia experiment perhaps?
I was instructed by my scientist friend to just be a fly on the wall, to act unobtrusive and not seek attention.
I wondered what law had been transgressed and the obvious one was to do with a magnet in a conductive tube.
We knew it simply as faraday's law but no one had generated the forces present here or had impressed such great pressure to cause the magnetic 'loop' to develop into an unknown energy field that perhaps became overloaded to be no containable in only one dimension.
Maybe they'd spent billion on the wrong experiment that something much bigger could be had but no one could imagine it.
Easier to image just banging things together to see how they break.
The excitement would grow as they got nearer to 'launch' day and a kind of lunar launch day was what it was close too.
If everything went right and the way it was meant to work then maybe it would be smooth enough to work better than it ever has and that threshold that was found would surely break !
Understand that it was nothing to do with the accelerated particles but to do with the coils surrounding them.
Also the new field of science was something any backyard inventor could dabble in and already do by experimenting with superconductors.
The idea is that the components of time could be either stretched or straight blown apart and really this is the machine that probably should have been built. not the collider which only touched on the new phenomena.
It would be a real step forward too and would enable the vehicles that would transcend through space and time to make mind blowing discoveries about how things really worked.
How the simulation was hooked onto a different physics.
My scientist friend was far ahead of this crowd !!!
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Come a long way but should I tell my story?
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Posted:Feb 14, 2024 2:34 pm
Last Updated:Feb 15, 2024 10:56 am 5900 Views
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It would be a tale of betrayal if I did but ........................
Fact is I couldn't outline my question or what I wanted to get out of it.
My interests had changed a lot too and I'd scored an interesting job that took me around the globe to meet some interesting people.
I was doing groundwork, a preparation for a scientist friend and it amazed me the respect people showed to him when I mentioned his name.
A cynical way to look at it was that I was being paid to keep quiet, but I had some good out of it and had been brought back to good health to be shaped into the curious and thoughtful human I am today.
Maybe I'd tell a tale or two and it would be taken as far fetched and too fanciful to ever be believed.
I wondered about the big picture too and I had a sneaky feeling that a promise had been given and had to be kept.
The more I thought about it the more it naturally fell into shape.
I'd read a lot of NDE's (near death experiences) and still remembered a lot of my own visions when schizophrenic.
Multiple ways I'd died and about the short lives I'd had.
Now I understood about the promise that was made and the purpose beset me.
I would write and only when I'd completed my task would I be eligible to return to paradise.
It was one way to explain the charmed life I'd led, swimming with crocodiles and countless near misses gave me the feeling of being indestructible.
But only protected till the promise was kept.
I'd been noticed and dragged back into human form again to continue my writing as that was my job centuries ago and maybe a God liked my style and had a job for me well into the future (now) that needed to be done.
I'd started out in the field of psychiatry, and my own abilities were being put under the microscope.
I never did get the full background of the higher controllers but my friend and golfing partner left hints that were a kind of paper trail I could follow one day.
They'd started studying the dynamics of a group of "special" ones who were held in a house like communal group and they were being watched.
Fed information by 'rigged' Tv programs and their psychic reactions studied.
It being postulated that crimes , mysteries could be solved that way.
I'd watched some of the tapes too it was so freaky the way one individual would take control of the group.
He liked spaghetti so everyone would have spaghetti.
That sort of thing.
One thin b*y had a psychotic tendency so needed to be watched out for.
Best kept away from knives and his moments of Catatonic hallucinations was scary to say the least.
It was decided to isolate him and he was taken to a farm far away from any possibility of getting into trouble.
A tracking device was put into a dogs collar that he walked with that would locate him if needed.
The begrudged him in a way but stayed with him.
"They" still wanted to study him and they paid a b*y to befriend him, even fuck him !!!
That way the b*y would be promoted to say stuff ,a rabble of disconnected stuff they'd try to put back together.
He seemed to be attached to higher powers , being told what to do.
They filled him with psychedelic shit too, lacing cartons of ginger beer they put into his fridge.
He would get on raging high, catatonic and would love to fuck the boy paid to be with him.
His explicit rantings about devils and his tormentors was truly entertaining.
Maybe it was worth the money just to see that.
The b*y's violence was connected to perverse sexual acts too, and his observers reasoned that desire was interconnected with violence in the mind somehow.
A close connection and you could see that often in animals. Sharks chewing on their reproductive partners for instance.
"If it's not rough it isn't fun" So Gaga says.
He connected with peoples thoughts too and could expose dark hidden ones, the routes of their souls. Like dogs do !
I was being used like a guinea pig , testing stuff to find a cure .
Then monitoring the after effects.
It was beneficial so I went along with it. I got see more of what they were doing too and I have to admit it was enlivening at times.
Seeing that b*y's crazy fucking rampage was truly captivating. Like the world was still in that cornerstone of the 60's when people were becoming aware of how barbaric people were. And to me the 60's was about at least acknowledging that change that was needed. B y some hand we're changing to eventually reach our given potential !
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A land of insuferables !
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Posted:Feb 13, 2024 1:26 pm
Last Updated:Feb 13, 2024 5:00 pm 5238 Views
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I was becoming more profuse with the language and that became a problem.
Shutting it off I mean.
Like my mind singing in my ear.
I'd dabbled with my mind as a , playing a game where I'd imagine objects and putting them out of my mind then it got faster and soon I'd have a projection like an early type of film and then cartoons playing in my mind.
But waking up in the morning was terrible, I was damaged and so I stopped doing it.
I'd applied for a job and the girl asked me about what interested me.
"Oddballs, watches and ..." I couldn't remember the third.
I should tell her about the darkness, about how my mind worked and that after having Schizophrenia I had trouble remembering things.
It was like odd stuff would appear from the nearby darkness and I would see it and then it returned to the darkness and was deleted from my memory.
It was like the mind game I'd started a long time ago.
In some way I'd got a look inside the savants mind.
The way thing could be distorted, the way the mind found pleasure.
My idea was that the high functioning savant had manipulated pleasure, even love to suit themselves.
The Rainman talked about the heart. He touched his chest over his heart and we felt that emotions were his key.
Love and emotion had distorted to embrace other things.
It is what compelled him to lose himself in knowledge.
I would get a smile, mute a I was ,I was also high functioning in a way but saw no point in communicating with the brain dead compatriots that shared the other beds.
I felt like a trapped Hemingway, alive and full of zest but unable to perform the role anymore.
Just a vision of my old age though.
Ageing is about fight or flight, that's what the latest idea is, that if you avoided that then you'd have a free ride through time as a more spiritual being not concerned so much with the trifles that beset the average human.
I had the ability to wake up with a clear head and always a little taken aback that I'd woken up without a personality.
I kind of got the gist of what personality is so I'd chose one just for that day.
That explains why when I've read something I'd written before it was like someone else had done it.
I had no connection with it.
But maybe like a wheel I'd stumbled onto the personality that wrote that again and then I would get it !
It was awkward !
50 first dates .
Oh I remember my point now, and that is that love could mutate into a lifelong string of enjoyment that you could tap into and didn't involve anything to do with its intended purpose.
It was messing with the book of creation.
Not something you'd be taught to do in school at a young age.
I remember it was dreadful dealing with the concept of time and I wondered how I'd escape it.
I guess I had a sixth sense of how mental illness would claim me.
It was what I needed to escape !
I got lost in it and it was like sharing the warmth of a flame trying not to get burnt.
Dopamine was my addiction and sexy obsessions were more than a thought away.
Music was my high too and I'd relax in a favorite spot baking naked in the Sun whilst a rapture from my music filled my heart.
So Schizophrenia was my loyal buzz buddy.
Now I'd go to those same places and listen to the same music and long for my sic companion that I'd lost.
You could imagine that lost one as legitimate and warrant being put on a cereal box as missing!!!! Seriously !! (Love mutated into a life long companion, not the short lived throw away thing !)
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Aquarius first then the Conscious progressives took over.
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Posted:Feb 12, 2024 9:08 pm
Last Updated:Feb 15, 2024 11:07 am 4662 Views
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Granite is over half made of crystals. You can trap a thought in water by freezing it, and now that's extended to crystals. The brain is flooded with crystals. Where are we going with this? If you simply knock two rocks together you get a spark, but do it twice and you see that the spark is diminished like energy was lost from the stone's first strike.
An idea emerged that the energy contained in the stones was absorbed over a long time and remained in the storage device that it is.
An intuned Conscious progressive can enter a state where they can read that information.
Where did DaVinci's cryptic excesses lead to?
To something he spotted in the kings chamber?
There an astute eye spotted the engravings.
An alien too, and a version of Astrology that linked to an alien connection to a place in a constellation.
We're from here and in these granite walls a message has been left for you.
Do you think Da Vinci is a genius? If we could crawl into the mind of a genius then we'd know what to strive for.
How to go about solving riddles or a cryptic puzzle.
Then the mind like a sponge gathers information.
The way it was designed to do. The mind of a genius converts that information into its intended meaning.
A two dimensional thing seems a very placid one and is a far reaching slate that tows no line to time, edge on it has no thickness.
If you cracked da Vinci's code you'd be able to conceptualize the surfeit that is the dimensional paradigm that we float in. Neither in one place or the other!
Stuck in limbo and then the message left in the kings chamber becomes clear.
That those beings were trapped.
No longer able to go home, so they would leave their predicament in a log that would one day be decoded.
By the conscious progressives. 
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