wet, warm......
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Posted:Oct 7, 2021 6:44 am
Last Updated:Aug 14, 2022 5:37 am 7823 Views
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Well,,it got you here didn't it?
I'm talking about rainshowers.....
I have this idea,,this fantasy,,,I guess a new obsession.
I love rainstorms....I to wear nothing but a mens white tshirt and have some pictures taken.
I am not sure why, when this obsession started but its there!!!
I guess this is just another loop in my journey....of my mind...of me.
Enjoy the ride.
~hush
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4
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Exciting or a nuisance?
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Posted:Oct 6, 2021 6:47 am
Last Updated:Oct 6, 2021 8:49 am 5340 Views
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https://www.medicalnewstoday/articles/323953#frequency
Do you find it to be an annoying mess....or does that not even matter?
It has just been a topic I have had on my mind lately.
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More than meets the eye
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Posted:Sep 30, 2021 6:04 pm
Last Updated:Oct 9, 2021 5:57 pm 5667 Views
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Warning Warning Warning
I am just spill some of my rambling thoughts...not sure it will appeal or make sense many but..you have been warned.
Have you ever just met someone, and without knowing them, made an assumption?
Why do we as humans, do that. Why has that type of thought became part of me. I know. You might say, because we are human.. it happens. Its what we do.
Its just something I have recognized in myself and is something I am from this time forward, going work changing about myself..we need be open change. We need work becoming better HUMANS
~hush
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Beautiful and flawed
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Posted:Sep 29, 2021 11:51 am
Last Updated:Sep 30, 2021 4:23 am 5205 Views
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Choices are hard sometimes, even if they are the best choices for us.
Making the right choice for yourself, can and sometime is the hardest and even sometimes, painful.
I just wish that I did not feel things so deep, I wish my empathetic heart was able to just understand that, but, well...I just have to work my way through it and just find the strength to just push through.
It does however really open my eyes to the fact that I really don't have 1 person, besides myself, that I can really rely on, who can help me to push through even when I feel like quitting, to cheer me on and keep my focus on the big picture.
It is a time of reflection and it does really bring to light how really alone that I am. This is not a post for sympathy it is just a post of reflection. Its the choice I have made many years ago....not to really let anyone get too close. How sad it is. I am not sure it is even evident in my everyday life or if it is something that I can change or even want to change. I guess I can't really continue to whine about not having someone close, if I on purpose keep everyone at arms length...again its a reflection its an observation. I don't need someone to come run in and rescue me. You would be met with smile, kind words, but again....all at arms length.
If i was to ever put my guard down, what does that even look like. I have spent so much of my life behind these walls, I am not sure that I would even allow or recognize true kindness.
I am kind to people. I like people in general. I enjoy people, again at arms length. When is enough, enough. When if ever, or can I let someone really in. Do I trust myself to make the right choice. Do I trust them?
Do other people go into new relationships with the idea that it will end bad and cause more pain, or is that just yet another flaw?
Sometimes the prettiest box, with the prettiest bow contains the worst gift.
Time alone, reflection can be a real pain in the ass sometimes.
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A Saint or a sinner
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Posted:Sep 26, 2021 8:56 am
Last Updated:Sep 27, 2021 6:10 pm 3788 Views
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So much of my life, I have always done what was expected of me by either society or by others who I found I allowed to control me, my ideas, my thoughts, my very life. So much of my life I never questioned this control. I did not even realize that this type of control was so heavy, that it was so consuming of my freedoms. I never allowed myself to make my own choices. It has taken me a few years to find comfort in this new role I have taken on. I know I have made some choices that have not been popular with some people in my life, and I also doubt some of my choices, but I will straighten my shoulders, steady my step and press on.
I think I will always have this enternal battle inside....the good versus bad,,,the sinner versus saint...but I know that I love the woman I am discovering, and the voice that I have found.
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4
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Silence its a killer,,,,of many things
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Posted:Sep 6, 2021 12:12 am
Last Updated:Sep 26, 2021 8:56 am 3155 Views
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Silence: wow,,it says a lot.
How do you expect one to respond after an extended amount of silence?
Yes, life gets in the way, but life does go forward too!
A few words help to alleviate doubts and any questions. Why do some think the world stops rotating if they fall silent?
Just more of my randomness.
~hush
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Does a word make a difference
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Posted:Aug 19, 2021 2:39 pm
Last Updated:Sep 6, 2021 5:34 am 3441 Views
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So, when a man calls you cute, what does that mean? For me it makes me feel like I might be in the "friend zone" I really don't know. I guess for me I would perfer to be called beautiful or sexy. I just wonder if other women or men might feel this way, or is it another one of my "things". I don't want to sound pathetic or as if I am asking for more, but its just one of my random thoughts.
~hush
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Ragging Storm
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Posted:Aug 16, 2021 8:19 am
Last Updated:Sep 30, 2021 4:40 am 2227 Views
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It sucks when you can not put your thoughts down.
When what your thinking, there are no words to express.
When the silence you once enjoyed becomes a sound that you dread.
When what you think you would enjoy, now becomes the nightmares that disturb your sleep.
I know we all go through times in our lives when things just don't seem to go as we had planned. I know that I am not any different than others, but when we are in the mist of the storm, it just seems we are that lonely ship in the big vast ocean and the waves are mightier and scarier than any other.
I know this will pass,,,there have been many storms, and I'm sure there will be many more in this lifetime.
But, I do realize in the middle of these storms, how alone I really am, and that makes me sad. I realize that the lonliness is bigger and colder than I realized.
I have many virtual friends, I have many that offer comforting words and many virtual hugs...and I do appreciate these very much, but sometimes,,,especially during one of my storms, I wish for more.
You know what the worst part is? I wish for what I won't allow to happen. I keep everyone at a distance. I keep them at arms length away. Its safer, its not so painful when they disappoint me, or when I disappoint them. I am not sure I even have it in me, to let someone in, really in. I always find a way to push them away, or excuse for why they left.
I know its okay to not always be perfect,,that being vunerable is hard.
Thank you for being a virtual friend. Thank you for your attemp at being a friend to me.
And again, I am sure that this storm will settle and my journey will continue on.
~hush
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SafeTears
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Posted:Jun 22, 2021 7:06 am
Last Updated:Sep 30, 2021 4:26 am 2639 Views
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So if a safe word is a safe word
and tears are tears.
Do my tears mean I am using a safe word?
Do you wait for those words to be uttered or are the tears the end?
During a session how many stop when the tears start to flow?
If you are searching for that "cleansing" that "healing of the soul"
Do tears connect the two? Do they create a connection only the two understand?
How many search for that? How many submissives understand how healing that a good cry can be. How many dominants understand that also?
Just more of my pondering
~hush
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lost skill...
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Posted:May 27, 2021 11:37 am
Last Updated:Sep 30, 2021 4:27 am 2844 Views
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So, I was just pondering something..
What has happend the skill of the "flirt"?
In this new age of cyberdating.. do people just not know how flirt, or are they just so accustom to the quick, fast and ferocious?
I just find very sad in fact that the act of flirting has been lost.
I like the tease.
I like the giggles.
I like the anticipation.
Why is flirting such an "old school" way?
I don't understand why everyone is in such a hurry show and tell?
Why don't we just talk, and flirt?
Why are so many in such a hurry show all the "treasures" and not wait for the surprise that is wrapped up in that package?
I am just old school,,but I refuse give up on the old fashion "flirt"
I was fun in my 20's and I still find as fun in my 50's.
So boys....Flirt ON!!
~hush
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