People have to be Haters
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Posted:Nov 19, 2012 10:23 am
Last Updated:Nov 19, 2012 9:24 pm 73753 Views
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Ok ... look ... I enjoy camming at times. I enjoy being told what to do. I DO NOT enjoy being mocked, insulted, or ridiculed. If you do not think I am sexy, move along, try another cam. Maybe you will find something else that strikes your fancy. I know I do not have a model's body, I am human with a life. I work out, not as much as I should, but I do. I know I am a little chubby. I don't shop at Lane Bryant, I wear the same size Marilyn Monroe did .. and my measurements are actually pretty close to hers.
I also am not retarted, so if you use words like that, you will get the bitchy mean me rather than the nice submissive one. I don't switch, but that does not mean I don't have an opinion, nor will I hesitate to voice it or defend myself. Just be glad you didn't say that to my face, I would have hit you.
My mother died of an eating disorder, so I actually am very sensitive about weight comments. I grew up always thinking I wasn't pretty enough, slim enough, good enough, etc. Except for one thing ... I was ALWAYS smart enough. The best way to a woman's pussy is through her mind ... if you don't get that, you are not a Dom, you are an asshole.
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Needs and Desires
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Posted:Nov 19, 2012 6:49 am
Last Updated:Nov 19, 2012 9:24 pm 70447 Views
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Dear me, this is crazy. I feel like a nymphomaniac at the moment -- of course a nympho who doesn't have anybody, just a vibrator. Every few years or so I somehow get struck by the "subbie stick." I just have this horrible desire to be subbie and be controlled... taken by the hair, brought to my knees ... cuffed, bound, right on the edge of pain and pleasure...
*shivers* Yup, that is what I need. Unfortunately I am way too much of a chicken to meet someone to do that.
I need a friend who is also a dominant. I need a safe person who can understand when I just need to be controlled. I need someone with a voice that makes me melt.
and for some reason, I get 20 year olds who want me to switch and dominate them. Either that or I get real weirdos ... the kind who make you wonder if you will live and go home.
Well, off to see if the batteries still work.
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fire, evacuation, now cleaning
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Posted:Jun 29, 2012 10:33 am
Last Updated:Jul 13, 2012 9:41 am 75665 Views
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I definitely got evacuated on Tuesday due to the astounding wildfire. I helped a friend get her pets and cars out of her house which was even closer to the fire. It was terrifying. Driving as fast as was safely possible, rushing toward an area that I could see being consumed by flames, praying that we were quick enough to save pets. We got her out, we then went to my house, which was farther from the fire, but driving through the sea of smoke, watching ash and embers falls on our cars was beyond crazy. I grabbed my dogs, a few clothes, and off I went.
Thank goodness for my friend -- there was a relative's house we stayed at so we had showers and beds for everyone. It was worrisome and stressful, not knowing what houses were destroyed. Even worse was the news last night as they lifted some of the evacuation orders. The warnings about smoke and soot damage made me terrified that even though my house was standing everything might be un-useable.
So I came back home this morning. Everything is majorly dusty. I've emptied the vacuum twice already, but it is ok. The dogs are happy with being home with their stuff, and a shower at home felt like paradise.
Thanks for the well wishes and concern. I appreciate greatly!
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an attempt at a perfect scene ... hmm
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Posted:Jun 21, 2012 2:47 pm
Last Updated:Jul 8, 2012 7:17 pm 76951 Views
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Feeling the need to engage in a little wishful thinking at the moment .. so here is an *unedited* first take
A dark blindfold slips over my eyes, a firm voice telling me to strip. As I start taking off clothes, I feel hands touching my newly bared skin. I stop and shiver from a moment ... it almost tickles, but not quiet. "Did I tell you to stop?" gets me restarted losing items of clothing until I stand nude except for the blind fold. My arms are pulled behind my back and I feel soft rope start to tie them. I squirm slightly as I get used to the feeling of bondage. Your hand tweaks a nipple and gets a gasp from me. I attempt to turn towards you but you push me back in place. I can feel you walking around me, making me wonder what you are thinking, what you plan on doing .. a little self conscious about my naked body but also trembling with excitement, feeling myself becoming aroused.
more to come later ...
lol .. sorry .. had to cam for a few .. just felt the need 
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Summer :)
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Posted:Jun 20, 2012 11:50 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 8:29 pm 73114 Views
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Welcome to summer! I went up to the mountains for a little while, enjoyed nature, attempted to fish, and just generally chilled. It was LOVELY! (Right until the sprained her shoulder!) Came home to smoke and forest fires, but it is still nice to hop in the shower!
Just a short little update since I have yard work to do!
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Massages, Poker, Beer, and Idiots
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Posted:Jun 5, 2012 10:32 pm
Last Updated:Jun 20, 2012 11:50 am 75698 Views
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I decided to spoil myself and had a lovely massage. I was absolutely lovely. Warm, deep, and very relaxing. It definitely made me feel better.
Then I went and played poker and did decently well.
Then I came home and had the lovely experience of running into a troll. He is still messaging me lovely things like "racist cunt" "you don't deserve this" "illiterate racist" "you should be blocked" and the like. I have actually moved to being annoyed to being amused. For someone to have the dedication and motivation to message someone for over an hour .. while getting absolutely no response .. well, it definitely lets me know that I am not the obsessive one! (However, this kind of abuse and craziness does make it harder for me to justify meeting anyone in real life!)
I guess what truly made me amused was the accusation of being illiterate. Anyone who knows the slightest bit about me would never accuse me of that.
So ... while all is not right with the world, Venus transited the sun and everything stayed on track -- which in the big picture is the important thing. I just have to remember that the sun always rises the next day, and I still have a pencil and paper.
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Painfully Lonely
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Posted:Jun 5, 2012 10:48 am
Last Updated:Jun 29, 2012 10:33 am 40143 Views
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I just need to write this out. Its a little bit of a pity party, but I need it.
Today just sucks. Yesterday was my birthday, and I celebrated it with my BFF who happens to be my birthday twin -- and that was nice, but awkward. We had a lovely day together, but I accepted having dinner with her parents and sister which was the weird part. Not bad, just weird. We had cake and ice cream after which was very nice. It just felt awkward since it was more like I was just the add-on.
Here's the but. My dad -- the only living parent I have -- didn't call yesterday. So I called him this morning. He literally said 4 words: what? fine? nothing, bye. Yup, that was the conversation. I get that he is mad at me. I ended up having to leave early when I was visiting him since my house got broken into. And he is mad at me about it.
I have one person related to me and that person can't even get over being slighted to be slightly kind and wish me happy birthday.
I guess I feel like if I died nobody would really notice.
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Damn it .. Amazing curls and not a date in sight!
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Posted:Mar 17, 2012 12:55 pm
Last Updated:Jun 5, 2012 10:48 am 27457 Views
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I have finally managed to spring forward. I hate the time change; I've never been an early bird, but my job forces me too. The agony of awaking before dawn seems especially cruel right after I have gotten used to dawn on my drive to work. However, today I woke up relatively early and felt so full of energy I did an hour on the treadmill.  Then curled my hair .. and dang! Imagine riotous curls, perfectly fluffed all in lovely Irish red-brown... such a perfect hair day for St. Patrick's.. but I have no real plans. I don't really want to go out drinking since the heat will definitely be on. Oh well, I am pretty happily re-reading Hunger Games and enjoying my afternoon.
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The Ramifications of Kink
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Posted:Mar 10, 2012 8:20 am
Last Updated:Mar 22, 2012 7:52 pm 21389 Views
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An interesting phenomenon -- looking at email and realizing that people who are solely looking for sex trigger the "immature, stupid" response in my head. Sorry guys, but I am much more than just a pussy and ass. All people have feelings and when you reduce yourself to a single line statement only relating to your physical lust, you do not inspire confidence or interest.
Submission and BDSM is at the very least an exchange of power, an expectation of trust, and a risk for both people involved. To assume instant connection tells me that you are desperate or ridiculously loose with your attention. I guess I would rather resort to Duracell than risk physical and emotional hurt from someone who is not willing to establish an acquaintance or friendship.
This is a risky kink to have: the majority of society will find you insane and scary. I feel that many people do not consider the impact of their kink being public. Very few are willing to make their kink public for absolutely correct reasons. I would be branded a , slut, among other harsh words, and the legal charge of moral turpitude would put a hindrance on my career.
I wish more people would consider their words and actions when approaching others. When you treat someone else as nothing more than a doormat or object, you indicate that you will treat everything about your kink that way. That is not a way to inspire submission and trust with someone else. A BDSM relationship is something to be treasured, and everyone deserves a careful respect of life, regardless of the treatment of sex and maturity by the media and society.
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Sun, lunch, and new toes
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Posted:Mar 3, 2012 9:31 am
Last Updated:Jun 5, 2012 10:49 am 21874 Views
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Today is shaping up to be a fabulous one! I got up early, cleaned, did laundry, dishes, minor clean-up, even bills.
And now for the treat! Going off to get a shiny new pedicure. Went last night to the beauty store to get a new polish. Got a gorgeous, shiny black from OPI (the stuff lasts! and doesn't chip!), so I am looking forward to chic nails in an hour or two. (Maybe I'll post pics with some new heels that I haven't shown off yet.)
I might even travel to the big city today -- I saw some new clothes online that I just HAVE to see in real life. I am such a total clothes .. three overflowing closets. I have to see if one of my friends up north wants to have dinner or anything -- I'm feeling adventurous and daring tonight -- maybe dancing or clubbing. Who knows?
Anyways, just wanted to share a happy moment. I know this isn't normal blogging for me, no exciting philosophical musings, or rants -- just back to normal after a rough week.
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