One Night I Banged kok
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Posted:Jul 27, 2018 11:30 pm
Last Updated:Aug 31, 2018 10:04 pm 60705 Views
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Bangkok, Oriental setting
And the city don't know that the city is getting
The creme de la creme of the chess world
In a show with everything but Yul Brynner
Time flies doesn't seem a minute
Since the Tirolean spa had the chess boys in it
All change don't you know that when you
Play at this level there's no ordinary venue
It's Iceland or the Philippines or Hastings or
Or this place!
One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free
You'll find a god in every golden cloister
And if you're lucky then the god's a she
I can feel an angel sliding up to me
One town's very like another
When your head's down over your pieces, brother
It's a drag, it's a bore, it's really such a pity
To be looking at the board, not looking at the city
Whaddya mean?
Ya seen one crowded, polluted, stinking town...
Tea, girls, warm, sweet
Some are set up in the Somerset Maugham suite
Get thai'd, you're talking to a tourist
Whose every move's among the purest
I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine
One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me
Siam's gonna be the witness
To the ultimate test of cerebral fitness
This grips me more than would a
Muddy old river or reclining Buddha
And thank God I'm only watching the game controlling it
I don't see you guys rating
The kind of mate I'm contemplating
I'd let you watch, I would invite you
But the queens we use would not excite you
So you better go back to your bars, your temples
Your massage parlors
One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free
You'll find a god in every golden cloister
A little flesh, a little history
I can feel an angel sliding up to me
One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me
One Night in Bangkok
Murray Head
Fuck me, it IS communicable
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CHLAMYDIA: Killed the Radio Star
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Posted:Jul 27, 2018 10:04 pm
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2018 11:09 pm 47969 Views
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I heard you on the wireless back in fifty two
Lying awake intent at tuning in on you
If I was young it didn't stop you coming through
Oh a oh
They took the credit for your second symphony
Rewritten by machine on new technology
And now I understand the problems you can see
Oh a oh
I met your
Oh a oh
What did you tell them?
Video killed the radio star
Video killed the radio star
Pictures came and broke your heart
Oh, a, a, a, oh
And now we meet in an abandoned studio
We hear the playback and it seems so long ago
And you remember the jingles used to go
Oh-a oh
You were the first one
Oh-a oh
You were the last one
Video killed the radio star
Video killed the radio star
In my mind and in my car, we can't rewind we've gone to far
Oh-a-aho oh
Oh-a-aho oh
Video Killed the Radio Star
The Buggles
Im not usually a teamplayer. *looks at title* perhaps Im still not. Ish.
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Oh the ways my toes curl when I hear that *snick**click* sound
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Posted:Jul 2, 2018 11:02 am
Last Updated:Aug 13, 2018 8:00 am 87718 Views
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I don't know if you get the alt newsletter or not but this was a piece of one I got this morning and I had to share with my dear one offsite but that just wasnt enough.
I crack up each time I think about it. Who comes up with this shit??
PER THE NEWSLETTER
Don't feel left out: lots of ALT.com members don't know the countless ways to connect on the site. If you agree, text your answer to #turkeybaster #bozowig #boiledpanties or #cliponpork. Now let's brings some of your BDSM fantasies to life.
Boiled panties?!?!  BOZO WIG
Im almost hearthurt that they dont say how to find out more!
Soooooooooo Im making my own list of kinky cuziness.
1. Clip-on-sunglasses.
The CLICK...the subtle sneak a peek of plastic rims poking out menacingly around those DARK mirrored clip on surfaces. *squirms n squees*
2. Knucklecracking.
The POP....the CRACK....oh how I shiver with glorious anticipation when I hear those knuckles expelling their harsh quick burst of air.
3. Umbrella-opening.
For the outdoor exhibitionist in us all nothing beats that WOOSH of an umbrella sliding open and locking into place. It;s point stabs. Its protective rainbow opening and protecting all under its embrace from sun, rain, pollen, bad itune playlists and government satellite intrusion. I demand my London Fog Privacy. Its my right to be free and me.
4. Christmas wrapping paper.
Self explanatory. Duh
5. Wetnaps.
The wet squish! The foamy outpouring when you shake or rub! How much lemon scented gooey goodness can one attain in a 4 inch square? Only the foil wrappers knows for sure.
6. ....ummmm
I'll tell you when you're older.
Ok so mine are nowhere near as funny as the ones listed but they make me laugh just as much
Creaky knee joints, papercuts n polkadots, retractable ball point pens.....the alt world is truly a kinky and hinky place online and in the mind.
The SHARPIE need is real people. Never forget that!
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So I was thinking....
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Posted:Jun 2, 2018 11:19 pm
Last Updated:Aug 22, 2018 11:44 pm 64864 Views
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Yes, you may consider yourself now warned. 
Odds are good you will not be spared.
*this is not a test*
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It's Bath & Body Works with undertones of Latex, Lube and Ass
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Posted:Jun 1, 2018 4:24 pm
Last Updated:Aug 10, 2018 9:59 pm 100958 Views
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I went past my favorite local toy store yesterday. I didnt go in though there were things I'd meant to get for months, but even from the street I swear I could smell the inside of the place. I'm sure its psychosomatic as it would be impossible to smell from the street since it's in an industrial area and the smells of hot metal and fire smother everything and yet....
From the outside its just a small stand alone concrete block building with even the windows blocked out to over head height but inside....it's like walking into any mall fragrance or jewelry store. Open wire racks for the porn in formats to fit every need... blue-ray DVD and holy hell, VHS(ore!).
Clear, spotlessly clean open glass shelves for display of product fill the place along walls and stand alone in every shape imaginable.
A clothing area, mostly female, of lingerie and fetish wear and even a1/2 wall filled with more sex and blow up dolls than I ever knew existed.
Out of the 8-10 adult stores in my immediate area this has been my fav for ages because of how clean it is.
How everyday people the customers are, even those who are blushing in embarrassment or excitement.
How reasonable the prices are and how diverse the selection.
How willing the staff is to order anything they don't carry.
How they offer to every person who walks in, but don't shadow or crowd you as you wander and explore at will.
How young and cocky the employees usually are which is both amusing and endearing to me as I can see at times that they feel they are more experienced than the even though I can almost guarantee they are very very innocently wrong. Just as I was at that age.
How there is a whole rack of tester bottles of lubes open to try...flavored, warming and cooling, different ingredient bases(silicone really is the slipperiest) which I found HELPful as i tested many out in the past getting a chance to learn their skin feel.
Never again the cinnamon. Not never, ever, ever, ever, ever.
How condoms are spread throughout the place. Every other rack really, if only in dangling strips as a not so subtle reminder that PLAYing is fun but PLAYing safe should be without question.
With the internet as a never leave home anonymous shopping option it takes a bit of nerve to work up to hitting an adult store for the first time, but if you have any desire to real time with a partner a brick and mortar store is the way to go.
This doesn't have the movie or viewing booths like some do. That's probably reason #1 why I consider it my favorite.
So how and why it still smells like latex lube and ass I will never know.
*scratches head*
Ya know...this post originally started out with Benjamin Franklin until I found a piece of sauteed onion stuck to my butt. 
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RIGHT BALL! LEFT BALL! Or How many dicks does it take to fill...
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Posted:Mar 10, 2018 9:20 pm
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2019 5:31 pm 80457 Views
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up the blog home page?
Apparently just O N E
Because NO O.N.E. is the blog boss of me, I'm tempted to make A FRIEND ONLY post just to be ornery but naaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh
I took a Roadtrip to Peace, Love & Little Doughnuts and had a maple bacon glazed bit of yummy goodness while listening to Bohemian Rhapsody and Ripple while standing in line. Hippy dippy desserty goodness can cure all things.
I searched the net for a good one or two day roadtrip and found a cute lil hotel in Florence, Ky called Wildwood Inn where they have themed rooms.
A treehouse! A Pirate Ship! A cave! Mini waterfall in the tub....*sighs* Bliss for a big with a gypsy heart but only a gypsy big toe or two not full blown gypsy feet.
I think more of us need less kinky stories with faux leather accents and more bathrobe belt ties in a living room blanket fort.
The older I get the more simple my heart gets (and that's saying something) and the less I want to put off or wait until later for what I want today. The less I think and the more I feel. The less I see and the more I hear.
Im responsible. Im employed. Im honorable and try to leave the world a bit better than I find it most of every day, so go karts and silly folks who make me laugh and stupid movies and frivolous spending on myself on a more regular basis.....?
Yeah....I am all in. I consider it an investment in my future self and the stories I may never get to tell. But if I dooooooooooo
I refuse to look back and say....I want.
Id rather know I HAVE/I DID/I HOPED/I LOST/ I DREAMED/ I WON/ I TRIED
and I am making a promise to me and anyone along for the ride that I always will.
I guess that makes me the penis in between us and Im okay with seeing that kind of dick.
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Happy Birthday, Dicktosuck, er, DiscoSocks..sighs..That means you, Vlad Honey
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Posted:Jan 23, 2018 2:17 am
Last Updated:Jun 30, 2018 12:34 am 98488 Views
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Maybe just a short blog break so you can go out a celebrate your special day.... A Vamp doesn't turn 562 everyday now does he?
I pulled into Nazareth, was feeling 'bout half past dead
I just need some place where I can lay my head
Hey, mister, can you tell me, where a man might find a bed?
He just grinned and shook my hand, "No" was all he said.
Take a load off Vlady, take a load for free
Take a load off Vlady, and you put the load right on me
I picked up my bags, I went looking for a place to hide
When I saw old Carmen and the Devil, walking side by side
I said, "Hey, Carmen, c'mon, let's go downtown"
She said, "I gotta go, but my friend can stick around"
Take a load off Vlady, take a load for free
Take a load off Vlady, and you put the load right on me
Go down, Miss Moses, ain't nothin' you can say
It's just old Luke, and Luke's waiting on the judgment day
Well, Luke, my friend, what about young Annalee
He said, "Do me a favor, , won't you stay and keep Annalee company"
Take a load off Vlady,, take a load for free
Take a load off Vlady,, and you put the load right on me
Crazy Chester followed me, and he caught me in the fog
Said, "I will fix your rag, if you'll take Jack, my dog"
I said, "Wait a minute Chester, you know, I'm a peaceful man"
He said, "That's okay, boy, won't you feed him when you can"
Take a load off Vlady,, take a load for free
Take a load off Vlady, and you put the load right on me
The Band, The Weight
I brought prezzies!!!!!!
Just for you....
1 Nimblebrainiac
1 Hissing maid
5 space spectacles
2 drawers of used twist ties make undead army action figures
And last but not least
50 LesleyAnne's
Enjoy alas
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Impossible dreams, we all have them, don't we?
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Posted:Sep 11, 2016 4:45 pm
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2019 5:39 pm 214119 Views
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For example:
In my next life, I want to be born as Seth MacFarlanes underwear drawer.
Post pubescent preferably, but I ain't picky when it comes to the impossible, and really, could a 18-20 year old Seth be any more prolific at juvenile and potty humor than the middle aged one? 
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OK, back to commenting on my prior post of fabulous bloggerness playlist comments. It's been an all day extra special enjoyable un-task and far from impossible to love.
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