The separation of worlds..nilla and kink
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Posted:Dec 8, 2023 9:41 am
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2023 9:45 am 4456 Views
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I think a problem between straight and gay is
The overall acceptance of the lifestyle.
Sure there are ALOT of kinky straight people..
But it's like they need to keep the two worlds seperate..
And put gandolph the grey on that bridge..
Motherfucker...you shall not passsssss!
And on the other side..in gaytown..
Yeah it's not such a big deal..
Gandolph is having unicorn sex in the porta potty and telling us
To cum...one and All..
Perhaps there is a need for kink to become more mainstream..
??? Loosen society up???
I find it refreshing to watch twitch/ YouTube streams of v tube girls collaborating..
And using terminology like...
I'm such a bottom..
Or referencing most bolder,toppy streamers as
Mommy dommeys..
I think there needs to be this merging point where the lifestyle stops craving attention..
And nerfs from omg fetish..taboo..sexual
To foreplay..
And becomes a regular thing..
I think some people luv that divide between the two worlds..
Yet..walk a few miles in gayland...where guys have no problem posting personal ads of themselves in gear ( not on kink sites..i mean on regular nilla gay personal sites).
Guys can be into anal fisting...without the taboo..or even lifestyle/ slave association..
Gandolph could walk up and ask if I'm into goldenshowers..
I doubt if I would be offended.
And even the most out there fetish...besides of course the obvious..
Say being a " urinal"...
I don't automatically associate getting on all fours and opening my mouth..
As a " slave" thing..
And even if that thought of a urinal blows your mind..like omg..how gross..
I see it as a " dude" thing..
Something guys might actually do together..
Maybe something I might do..
Let's be adults here..once you had his dick in your mouth or his load..
Is this really that taboo??
Not trying to gross anyone out...just trying to say when you remove the taboo from a fetish..
Is it really that big of a deal..
Like who cares if gandolph is getting his ass fisted..
Your thoughts
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Why not use the lifestyle to get a man
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Posted:Dec 8, 2023 7:44 am
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2023 8:59 am 5273 Views
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Originally I was against this principal because I felt women were abusing it..
And by abusing it I mean they had no "real" interest in Domming someone.
Her focus seemed to primarily be the relationship
A lot of times it's like...is she looking for a boyfriend..or a slave..
And for some women it's like that...she treats the dude as a dude..until she's ready to whip it out..
And then it's like she becomes another person or she is afraid to be a Domme in public
They do a scene and it's back to being jim,bob,Tim the boyfriend.
I feel this is wrong because he needs to be submissive,express himself,have a ying to his yang..
Submission isn't something you can just turn off and on.
But like I said in yesterday's blog men are different...
We aren't relationship forward...not saying we can't desire a relationship.
But there is that getting know someone stage before we get serious.
In the meantime men are very sex and play fueled.
I think it's okay for men to use the lifestyle to get guys ..
Why?
Unlike women ...even if a guy isn't very Dominant..He's still a top.( most guys new to m2m are)
He acts like a top..he gives off top energy...
(Not sure if most guys realise this..)
And yeah that is very attractive,appealing,satisfying to a bottom,slave like myself
So there isn't that same constant need for him to be Billy bad ass..
He can treat a dude like a dude..but you both know whose in charge,whose the " daddy" ...
And the more you fuck him..
The more that concept is driven home. You both know your natural roles.
Now you might say....hold up couldn't a woman also top..whether sexually or otherwise...couldnt she just strap it on
Yes...but then your not treating him just as a dude..
If your pegging him etc....isn't that being channelled into his submission.
A regular dude will view pegging as kink....I viewed m2m as sex..that any guy can do
My point is guys you don't have to be a Dom to get slaves,bottom guys..
I said it before..if your new,curious,straight..leaning bi...chances are you top.
And you literally can be the nicest,most affection,cat loving topman in the world..one that wouldnt hurt a fly.
But every time you crawl in bed with your bottom, you reinforce the pecking order,your showing him who is in charge,your reminding him of his role in the relationship.
And you don't get that with m/f sex...your not " dominating" her.
But with a dude,,,your happily filling that ass..hoping to shoot your big load,you want to breed him,etc
And unlike women..
A top doesn't have to be skilled in bdsm in order to satisfy a bottom..
Why? I feel if a woman ties me up..my brain processes it as kink.
So you still have that start and stop reaction of his submission.
He views this as " kinky" because there isn't that top vibe in your day to day.
If a man ties me up naked in bed...I don't view it as " kink:
It's more like a natural extension of our roles as top and bottom.
The rope,the handcuffs,the gag become an extension of his cock
He doesn't need to break out the toy box to show who me whose in charge.
Plus I feel there isn't that same dynamic..
With a Domme there will always be that pressure from the male to play/ topping from the bottom..which tends to burn ALOT of Dommes out
With a man...? I feel within a meeting or two ..yeah your having sex..
Hopefully that doesn't suprise you...and yep even the nicest,cat loving top,wouldn't hurt a fly is getting laid..hes balls deep in the dude.
The bottom,the slave may be able to chill because he already is getting a natural power exchange from the sex..So it may temper the need to flex on a Dominant.
And the real bonus of using the lifestyle to find a guy
The male is already into ALOT of things...
So it makes it " easier" for a top...esp an older guy to bring up a fantasy,a desire...
Without the other person freaking the fuck out.
Let's be honest..if your all ready fucking him..and that isn't cap
Is he gonna get pissed if you express a desire for say...
Just an example...feet..
There you blurted out your hidden fetish..you love feet
And he turns around and says..
Cool..
And you find yourself happily sucking his toes.
Honestly it hard to shock a lifestyle bottom like myself
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What if your 65,think no guy is into me,have no game m2m
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Posted:Dec 7, 2023 12:36 pm
Last Updated:Dec 7, 2023 5:49 pm 4800 Views
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This is what I've been trying to say...
M2m mimics the lifestyle to a certain degree...it works on the same sorta principles..
When you have a Dominant/ top fullfilling their role..
It allows the male to step out of that slot and take up one that is more natural
There is a huge reason a 65 yr old Dommes mail box overflows
She offers that safe space,that oppertunity, that void..
She offers that space for the male to finally express his submission, reveal his true self, to surrender
Well a 65 yr old top also has a similar power...he offers up a space for the bottom to fully express his passive nature,surrender,just let go.
Being a bottom is ALOT like being a slave..it's not something readily available in straight town...
He has needs that aren't getting addressed.
But one can be 40,50,60,70 and still find a nice bottom guy because you as a top fulfill his biggest need..
He can't be a slave without a Dominant..
He can't bottom without a top
He can't be passive without an active..
And it's not like a dude just turns this on and off at will..
It's more like you draw this out of the guy,you nuture it..
That is why he is drawn to you..
So don't think your too old,have no game,nobody would be interested etc..
And ironically it's not like you have to change yourself.
If your just getting into,are curious,straight ,etc..your probably a top.
You just have to understand the mindset of a bottom male and use it to your advantage.
Meaning a bottom is basically looking for that take charge guy..assertive..confident..basically that guy that wants to lead,
Which also could mean Dom,authority figure,dad,mentor...but doesn't have to..
It could be as simple as a top that is comfortable putting his arms around a guy.
But I stress...
It's the same thing with a Domme...There has to be that ying/ yang principal for this to work.
Meaning the more controlling she gets...
The more passive he gets..
One plays off the other.. but there has be some level for this to work..
She can't be controlling one day and the next? She wants to switch.
He can't be the top one day..and then next? A do me bottom
So if a bottom is searching for a way to express his passive self
Then the strong,confident male figure is going to attract him..
The more active/ forward you get
The more room he has to be passive.
The more he'll be into you.
And I'm not suggesting crazy,drill sergeant control freak sorta active..
I mean literally more like you initiate the sex,you initiate the contact,you make the decision,you lead and have him follow/ you guide him.
The nice thing with men is it doesn't have to be one or the other approqch....m2m or bdsm..
You could easily introduce elements of bdsm into the mix..
Without it being...omg😲😲😲😲😨 bdsm
Because kinky elements are already quite common in the gay culture.
And the bdsm elements also help play into his passive nature.
I'm not suggesting you run out and buy a whip ( which is fun)..
But chances are a bottom isn't gonna freak out if you wanted to introduce certain things in the bedroom
Like say bondage..or edging or cbt
My point? If your a top..looking...and having problems..
Just remember your true power..
The bottom guy needs that release..
And is looking for that guy
That understands..
If He's passive..then be active...initiate contact with him..ask for his social media,chat him up..
Ask him out..order for him
And I think you'll find age doesn't matter as much as your personality..
Active attracts passive.
Like I said..
Your a top...either sit their like a lump on a log and we can continue talking about sports or movies or books..
Or you can be active..slide your arm around me..touch my knee..
Notice this draws out my passiveness...instead of stopping and telling you
No..
This is my way of saying
Go.
And once that ice is broken..
It's easy to just be more active
It's easy to suggest things that would get his passive nature aroused..
Like now your gonna tie him up in bed..before fucking him
Which isn't asking..it's guiding him into the bedroom and telling him what your going to do to him.
Like I said..There is a reason a 65 yr old Dommes mail box overflow..
Apply the same logic
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What attracts a bottom m2m
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Posted:Dec 7, 2023 10:45 am
Last Updated:Dec 7, 2023 11:04 am 3511 Views
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I thought I'd give some insight into bottom guys.
I think there is this odd feeling that tops either try to treat them like women/ use that female template..
Or see a dude as..just a dude..like some guy off the street..they fuck and then play y2k with him.
And I feel that is the wrong mindset
Instead I feel like you need to view this in lifestyledynamics
No matter how you slice it...
There is a natural power exchange between men. One has to bottom...
Which I really don't feel is present during m/f sexual relations.
You chose to top,be the active..
Which allows me to bottom and be passive.
The more active you are
The more passive I can be.
And just like with Dom/mes...tops give off a certain energy
Just like with slaves...bottoms give off vibes
Which attract one another...
So just like the lifestyle..
You need the yang..to have the yang
To be Dominant..you need the submissive to be submissive.
You need that top to take that lead role.
I'm not suggesting he treat a bottom like a woman.
I'm saying a bottom guy likes being passive,guided,
He wants you to make the first move etc.
I'm not suggesting you need to be a Dom..
I'm trying to get you to understand there is more to the dynamics of m2m than just sex..
ESPECIALLY if this becomes a regular thing between you.
Deep down a bottom wants that guy so much into him that..
The top just reaches over and grabs his knee or brushes his thigh..
The bottom enters a more relaxed stage and the top gets bolder.
Slowly removing the bottom guys shirt or pulling off his pants.
The top then pulling out the bottoms c ock.
The bottom wants a bold guy that likes to be in charge..it not only attracts him but I feel completes him..he can be his natural bottom/ passive self
So the dynamic sorta is lifestyle based.
So yeah...If you want to attract a bottom...don't forget to be a top
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The real reason your initially not going to enjoy m2m
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Posted:Dec 7, 2023 7:25 am
Last Updated:Dec 7, 2023 10:52 am 3051 Views
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Let's be honest...your voyage into guyland initially will be bumpy.
Your not gonna just slide into the deep end..
Well I did...but more on that later..
Your gonna be nervous, your not gonna want to touch the guy,kissing is the furthest thing from your mind..
Hell you most likely didn't even bring lube or condom..
Youve banged women but never had to discuss whose topping who.
Hopefully you at least had that talk with the dude.
If your both new to the game then yeah the fucking
Is gonna be rough.
Literally...no lube.. you have no clue that you have to prep the bottom guy with your fingers,no clue that you have to give him that moment to adjust to your girth..
What...you thought you'd just slam it in..
It will be an experience the bottom guy soon won't forget..
A painful one..
So let's say you got it in and now are pumping away...
Feels pretty good from your end... probably as good as a woman..
But the sensation your really lacking is the bottom guys reaction..
It will be akin to a woman that just lays there in bed..
You'll end up with a dude that is in pain from your thrust..and most likely won't know how to process it...and his hole will clamp down,tighten.
Meaning it is harder for you to thrust
This is why some guys try their hand at bottoming and never go back
And since your inexperienced ..you won't know the difference between this guy
And someone like me..
Who went fucked.. enjoys it and will start to moan, groan,make sexual noises as you thrust..
So you'd get a completely different experience with someone like me.
Another reason it might initially suck is your afraid of touching the other guy.
So your just...dick/mouth..and maybe anal
.
But your missing out on alot of ways to turn a man on..
To which your probably ignorant of cause you never explored your own body..
But you can caress his skin, pull his nips, use your mouth on his body like you'd a womans..
You do that with a woman..right?
When there is more than just your penis involved,it's just a better experience all around.
Okay let's say everything is gonna great, you got the plane in the air,the passenger is enjoying the flight..
But have you given any thoughts on how are you gonna land the plane..
To which you most likely don't even think of where your with a woman..
Do you nut up in the guy? Is it rude?
Do you pull out and shoot on him? Is that rude?
Can you finish off in his mouth? Is that rude?
Is it rude to even ask? Or should you just do it..
Even odder
.
And for the love of Pete...
Please don't make this mistake...cause your most likely be a top..
After you orgasm...
Please..please.. please do feel like you owe the bottom guy one..
I had way too many tops reach over and start to jerk me off..
It's like they can't process that it's very enjoyable being a bottom..your get a lot of wonderful sensations back there .
So I'm good ..I had fun
Meanwhile they are rubbing my dick so hard you'd think they are trying to start a fire..
anything anal sort overrides sensations to the penis for a bit
And you just rode me hard...it's gonna take a minute to prime the pump..
Meanwhile we both feel silly as you constantly work the handle and nothing comes out..
You feel like I'm missing out..
If you want to see me cum..then engage me as the bottom..stick your fingers in me when you jerk me,put a toy in me and suck me off etc.
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There is no " brokeback mt" moment
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Posted:Dec 7, 2023 6:10 am
Last Updated:Dec 7, 2023 9:01 am 2755 Views
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The real problem with basic m2m is how it's stereotyped.
I really don't believe 2 dudes cuddling and more in a tent ...
leads to them being gay and regretting their marriages..
There is no...I can't get over you ..
Moments..
Now the book or the tone of the movie may have implied both were initially gay..???
Whatever..
My point is you doing m2m suddenly doesn't make you gay..more or less want to leave your wife..
Chances are your not going to fall in love with a bro
You may fall in love with say sucking a cock though..lol
But still...you like dick and not the dude attached to it..
Which is surprisingly common.
And if you luved banging an ass..
Yeah your still gonna love banging your wife..
I disagree with the notion that people were born gay
Cause there are people like myself that have flip flopped.
So I ..me personally
consider it a preference...much like you should..
You can fuck a blonde,brunette, redhead..
Why not a woman or a man..
Without it defining or labeling you..
Let's be real...if you were shipwrecked on an island for years with a dude..
You'd bang him..right,
So what's holding you back now?
The funny thing about straight,curious,bi guys is there literary is no change..
It's not like..wow I fucked a dude and now I want to be " flamboyant"..put on some ladygaga..
Your the same dude..you most like top...Will go back to your wife tonight and then top her..
Nothing really changed..
So guys there is no reason to fear m2m..
And perhaps your married and your fear to tell your wife..
Well afraid to tell you..but yeah some women are into gay porn,m2m.
They feel like it's raw sex without the love.
Like I mentioned previously..if you add the lifestyle into your interest in men, then it's just easier for you/ for both of you to process this as a power exchange/ domination..
Your not fucking an ass..your taking his ass..
Your rejoicing at how much the bottom slut wants your cock,your load in him..
So you stop seeing this in negative terms..your not " gay"..
Your dominating your slave..
Either way...
There won't be a broke back moment
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Part 4...I don't want to leave you with the impression
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Posted:Dec 6, 2023 6:20 pm
Last Updated:Dec 6, 2023 6:26 pm 2729 Views
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And honestly I am tired of the disney/ Hollywood stereotype of a gay man..
Fuck I like guys..I'm not 5'6 ..i'm not geeky..I don't talk with a lisp..I don't dress like Elton John.i don't drape myself in a flag ..I'm not woke. I'm not not mayor Pete butterbitch.
I'm 5'11 2010lbs, I lift weights,I work on cars, I luv football, I'm manly AF
..yet I like a dick in my ass..no seriously..I'm a bottom
And honestly I don't know If this even is a shocker anymore
Yeah I liked to being plowed by a 60 something farmer.
Is it because I look like you,work with you,dress like you..that annoys you
Yet it
Doesn't mean I want your dick in me..doesn't mean I'm attracted to you..or want you to convert..
Gay guys are different..And there should just be mad respect for what bros like
No
different than you having a type..maybe your into blondes or bbw or black women..
It's called a preference.
And it doesn't mean cause we all are banging weights,spotting each other or even showering naked
That I need to process this sexually..
Gay men can have straight friends..
And honestly unless your gay..I'm really not interested..can actually have dude friends.
Yeah...I guess this is where the gay guy is supposed to inserted the emoji hearts,flags,bears? Unicorns
I'm not really interested in you..or the flag or bears
No offense..we good..
I honestly wish people would get this.
You don't want me...And you can't give me what I want..
So we can just chill and lift.
And we're cool..
I'm just shocked that in 2023...people still freak out about dudes fucking dudes..
In ancient greece,rome,Germany japan..great warriors/ hero's fucked men.
Kinda funny in their time..
It wasn't a big deal
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Part 3 of the D. Being gay vs m2m..I think there is a huge difference.
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Posted:Dec 6, 2023 4:58 pm
Last Updated:Dec 7, 2023 5:09 am 3723 Views
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First off
Sorry if I'm log jamming the boards a bit with these topics.
Second...I honestly think people need to chill a bit when it comes to labels or the fear of being labeled.
An act doesn't define you..so dont define yourself over an act.
Too many dudes run head first into the woodchipper proclaiming they are now curious or bi because..
Omg..they got their dick sucked..
By a guy..
And ( cue Katie perry) they liked it..
Of course you liked it
Who doesn't like it..your dick is being sucked..
But here's the deal
There is a huge difference between a blowjob and falling for a guy.
But honestly I could stick your dick through a glory hole..
And walk a variety of different adults from a 22 yrs college coed to the mailman to the golden girls.
.to a pack of nuns..into that room to suck you
And your gonna enjoy it..
But that doesn't suddenly make you
the pope..
Being gay is more than...a sexual act..
Like you could literally fuck a dude...And I still wouldn't consider you bi.
ALOT of people like to define bisexual or gay to mean your attracted to someone of the same gender.
I'd like to clarify that definition by saying it's more than attraction..
It's feelings.
I can be attracted to a bodybuilder and admire his big pecs or huge arms..I can hero worship him.
But that doesn't mean I want to date him.
I may want to suck his cock..
But that doesn't mean I want him in my life
The same goes for ALOT of straight women..they can think an actress is hott..be crushing on her..
But there is no real feelings for that person..
To me it's like a dude going to a bar to hookup with women..he's there to get laid and doesn't invest any real feelings into them.
I'm not suggesting a guy is using a guy as a " replacement "..Like say in a prison setting.
I'm saying it's okay to have fun with another guy without worring what it makes you..
You there to get laid.
Your barman.
Your there to suck and fuck...
I said the same argument about lifestyle play with another dude..
It's more about bonding than falling in love, have feelings
And if or when your ready to advance down the orientation scale..you might notice that bi sex still is different than even gay sex..
???...say whattttt!!!
But am I not putting my Dookie in his cookie..?
Once again..it's not the act.. listen you can pump your dick into a fleshlite
or an ass..
Blindfolded both will feel tight and warm on your dick..
But your not gonna have an emotional attachment/ investment in either..
That is basically what bi is in my opinion...Being comfortable with the guy...to some extent
But it still can be very standoffish.. your not invested emotionally
Gay sex on the other hand is completely different. In my experience there are no barriers,guys are warm, affectionate,passionate,do way more than just suck and fuck..
Hell I had dudes that sucked my fingers,licked my arm pit..
And to really hit home the idea that
what you might wanna try,curious about or actually do with a guy isnt..
Gay..( you been warned)
Hell I had a top guy literally lick my asshole out...no warning either..
At first there was a...
Hellloooooooooo nurse sensation....he gave me no warning..just stuck his tounge right in..
Why???? Cause for him it was a casual thing to do..like why wouldn't you eat a bottoms ass out..it really is a common practice
But once I realised what he was doing..I was chill..
And just saying
I liked it..
I'm not saying every gay guy is like thid
But certain things are the norm...like obviously kissing, the top prepping the bottom by stretching his hole with his fingers..ass eating, cum eating,sucking your nips
Some things we label as fetish are quite normal/common in boytown like chastity,edging,anal play,fisting,spankings,nipple play, feet,sounds etc
My point isnt to freak anyone out..
I'm using extreme examples to clearly show what you do 2 in the morning after a few shots..With your bud
Is much ado about nothing..
It's basic...so don't read into it..
But I'm also saying Women can be...how do I say it without sounding like a dick..
Let's go with less experimental...
You may have always wanted to fuck an ass,have your own backside played with,maybe you luv getting oral and that wasn't her thing,maybe your into feet and were really afraid to approach a woman about your fetish desires..
I'm not saying all men are laid back...but there is less of a sticker shock in the gay community.
So yeah..hopefully this helps..
You to understand there is a huge difference between sucking a penis and a top rolling me into a ball and fucking me silly ( no cap..true story)..
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How to get the D part 2 etc
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Posted:Dec 6, 2023 12:10 pm
Last Updated:Dec 6, 2023 12:22 pm 2600 Views
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Honestly I'm not expecting any response to my original blog..
Cause I know it's a hard topic to talk about
And more guys are into it or would like to get with other men..
Than they are willing to admit.
But I find it funny how society wants to villianize the male sex drive.
Why is it wrong for men to desire sex,think about sex..be sexual..
Why is the male sex drive contrasted against the female standard ( ours being judged as " too high").
Why not theirs is too low
Without rambling on and pissing someone off..
My point today's wasn't to make men sound like immature sex freaks..
Rather male sexuality..is well..normal..
And if your having issues connecting to/ with women
Maybe you have considered men..
And hopefully realising
That being " sexual" doesn't have to be a bad thing..
It's okay to finally be
Horny
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How hard is it to get the D...as a guy
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Posted:Dec 6, 2023 9:22 am
Last Updated:Dec 7, 2023 5:09 am 2557 Views
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I'm off..the coffee is flowing..
I read an ad on fet where this 40 yr old guy was begging for help,tips on why he wasn't connecting with women,etc..
Honestly I could have given him some. I doubt if he would have really processed it..
CAUSE at 40..he was still acting like he was 20..
You want younger,younger don't want you..
You want sex..they want chad,that 10 percent of the male population..
Your not chad
Wash,rinse,repeat..
So maybe you've been in a similar boat..And as you turn 40,50,60..hell 70..
Maybe the thought of men has crossed your mind..
Maybe you wondered how hard it is to be with a guy.
If so then pull up a couch and let's talk...
I don't like to stereotype or generalize people..
But the 40 yr old man " looking" is a common occurrence.
And the 40,50,60,70 etc yr old man " looking" for a man is becoming more common.
I think the biggest difference in my opinion is ALOT of women from say 30 up are very relationship focused..
Maybe she's never been married or just got divorced or has etc.
The 30 something man on the other hand most likely is either bored or is divorced himself and suddenly wants to be that movie " old school"/ wants to go back to his former 20 something.
He wants to fuck..anything adult..not nailed down..
And some guys never want to get back on the relationship train cause..
Available women of a certain age come " prepackaged"...they come with ,they come past issues,baggage..
And I'm not bashing women here...a lot of guys/ divorced guys have issues too.
It's like asking for the big mac...but finding you have to get the combo...
Men? There are single men out there sans ..
So what's it like being with a guy??
No I'm not getting into that sexually...unless you really are curious..
But I'll say what guys are like in my next reply
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