A Lesson Begun
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Posted:Nov 28, 2022 12:36 pm
Last Updated:Dec 30, 2023 11:37 am 6768 Views
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It was very hard getting through that week. Difficult, too. What had happened to me on Tuesday kept me erect almost my entire week. It was difficult to concentrate on classes or the jobs i was doing for the newspaper and television station. But no one seemed to be aware of how distracted i was.
On Friday night i barely slept and was up very early on Saturday, even earlier than when i had an 8:00 class. i took my time in the shower and since my roommate had gone home for the weekend, pranced around the dorm room naked playing with myself but not letting myself cum.
i was in Shauna’s dorm about 10 minutes early but decided not to knock on her door yet. i wanted to do it right at 10 like i had been instructed. So, i stood down in the lobby and waited until it was time.
Right at 10 am i knocked on her door. There was no response. i knocked again. Still nothing. i didn’t know what to do. Had She stood me up? Was this all some big tease? Should i wait? Should i go? i didn’t have a clue what to do. So i sat.
In an empty hall on a Saturday you can hear a lot of things: people talking, people walking on the floor above you, the elevator running, someone on the steps. But not a sound from Shauna’s room.
About 10:40 i heard something. Shauna’s door opened and there she stood in a cute dress that looked better suited for summer than for right after Thanksgiving. She used her chin to direct me in and so i stood and entered. She closed the door behind me. i looked around and her room was an absolute mess.
“The room is a mess,” she said pointing out the obvious. “I need you to clean it for me.” i was taken aback and a bit surprised. No foot play today? i was a bit devastated but i reluctantly agreed to clean the messy room.
i started to pick up some books and papers beside her desk when she stopped me. “I think you should do it naked.” This time i’m sure my shock was easy to see because she giggled a little and said, “I’ll make it worth your while.”
She reached up under her dress and pulled down her panties. They were deliciously sexy, pink lacy bikini panties with a cute little bow on the front. She said she had worn these all day yesterday and then slept in them and would give them to me if i cleaned her room naked.
It was only a momentary hesitation before i slowly and sheepishly began taking off my clothes. She didn’t really seem to notice as she turned away, picked up and book, climbed up on her bed and began reading and taking notes.
i finished taking off my clothes, folded them and set them by the door. i was totally embarrassed standing there naked, my cock as hard as it had ever been in my life. But i took a deep breath and began picking up the mess in her room.
She seldom seemed to look up except to instruct me where to move and put things as i picked them up. She told me where the duster was and i dusted all of the furniture. Then she had me get a small vacuum and do the floor and rugs.
After a couple of hours i was finished and the room was in very good condition. i turned and looked at her on her bed and she was just staring. This got me even more embarrassed. my cock was harder now than before and to heighten my embarrassment there was pre-cum dripping from it.
Not knowing what to say or do i just stood there while she looked and smiled at me. While she was looking me up and down, most of her attention was on my cock. i didn’t know if she was waiting for me to do or say something so i just stood there like a fool, looking like one for sure.
Finally after what seemed like an eternity she asked if i would like to clean her feet. She had me climb up on the bed at her feet and take off her shoes. Her toe nails were the color i had painted them on Tuesday and i greedily took the right one in my hands and began working on it with my mouth. From where i was sitting and the angle of her legs i could look right up her dress and see her naked pussy. This sent my cock twitching.
When she felt as though i had done enough with that foot she changed and gave me the other. Again, as i worked on her foot with my grateful mouth i had a clear view of her wonderful pussy. After just a couple of minutes of licking and sucking on her foot and toes we had something of a conversation. This is how i remember it going.
“You’re looking at my pussy, aren’t you?” she asked.
“Yes,” i meekly replied. “I’m sorry.”
“You like it don’t you?”
“Yes.”
Then she laughed, took her foot out of my mouth and hands and hooked her heel around behind my neck and pulled my head toward her crotch. i moved very willingly and was kissing and licking her pussy within seconds.
She must have enjoyed the view or the power she had over me this morning because it didn’t take her very long to cum. As she was catching her breath she put her hands on my head and pushed me away from her pussy. my face was coated in her juices but i didn’t want to wipe them away. She suggested we get dressed and grab some lunch. As i started to get off the bed she told me to stop and then put her right foot on my cock and played with it for about a minute or two. i was ready to explode and told her so. Then she stopped, saying “We wouldn’t want you to make a mess, would we?”
As i started to get dressed she tossed me those sexy dirty panties and told me to wear them under my clothes. The silky panties bore her scent the same as my face and they slid lightly across my thighs as i pulled them up, cuddling my cock. They there were hip huggers so the top of my cock stuck out which make her laugh and say how cute it was. She told me to just leave my under ware there and i could get it later.
We ate lunch and she talked about mundane things, class, Christmas, her home town. Not a word about what had happened. i’m sure there was a reason for this but it was driving me crazy. Every time i tried to bring up the subject she quickly changed it. So maybe driving me crazy was the whole point.
After lunch i walked her back to her dorm and at the door she gave me a hug and said i still smelled like her. i was both embarrassed and proud i guess. Then she thanked me and said she really enjoyed what i had done for her and maybe if i was good we could do it again.
Walking back to my dorm in the cold December air i couldn’t help but focus on the silky, lacy panties that i wore under my pants. i left them on the rest of the day and even slept in them. The next day i took them off so i wouldn’t soil or ruin them.
For the last two Saturdays in the semester we repeated that scene in just the same way.
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Of Pedicures and Nail Polish
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Posted:Nov 27, 2022 1:25 pm
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2024 4:55 pm 6585 Views
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Reading through and thinking over the information Rebecca had given me absolutely made me horny. But, like the good little subbie i was learning to be, i didn’t masturbate though i did play with myself a little.
On Monday i stopped in her office but she said she didn’t have time and we set an appointment for the following day, late in the afternoon. When i arrived for that appointment she was sitting on the front edge of her desk and motioned me to sit on the floor at her feet.
The first thing she did was ask if i had masturbated. i told the truth that i had played with myself some but had not cum. “Good boy,” she said with a smile. My cock got instantly hard.
Next we talked about the list and what i had liked and what i hadn’t. i told her i wasn’t finished because i was still trying to process it all. Some of the items were easy. i mean my obvious fetishes were easy to check and things like having sex with animals was easy to say no to. But there were a number of things i really was struggling with.
i’ve never been a person who enjoyed pain. i had experimented throughout my life with spanking myself and using clothes pins on my body. While it was somewhat arousing at times, the instant it really started to hurt i would stop. So, i wasn’t very sure on how far i would be willing to go with some of the areas involving impact play or other things that involved pain.
Another area i wasn’t sure about was bondage. i’d never been tied up. i did know that i had a touch of claustrophobia and i wasn’t sure how that would come into play.
She just took it all in, asking the occasional question but not offering any further education on all of this.
After a while there was a knock on her door. She looked at me and told me to stay right where i was. i was petrified. What if it was another student from class or someone else i knew. My mind began searching for anything that would sound logical for why i was on the floor.
But it wasn’t anyone i knew. It was a student, a senior getting ready to go into her last semester, a member of a sorority who Rebecca introduced as Shauna. She had shoulder length dirty blond hair and green eyes. “Shauna is in need of a pedicure,” said Rebecca. “I think you should give it to her.”
i really did try to say no but couldn’t. The way Rebecca and Shauna both were looking at me there on the floor i knew i couldn’t not do as i was told.
Shauna led me out of the office and out of the building and across campus toward her dorm. She talked as we went, explaining that she had taken Rebecca’s class and had shown an interest in the lifestyle and Rebecca had graciously offered to teach her some things. She said that Rebecca had also told her some about me and that they both agreed that i should begin learning how to serve. And since it involved one of my fetishes, all the better.
Back in her room i took up a position on the floor as she sat in her desk chair. i removed her shoes and socks as instructed and i stammered a little as i asked if she would like her feet cleaned first. She quickly said yes and added that she really enjoyed it when “a boy worships my feet.” i was so hard i could feel my cock trying to rip through my zipper.
i took my time and licked, kissed and sucked each toe and foot. When she felt i had cleaned them well enough she showed me how to use the tools of the pedicure trade. First i used the nail file to shape her toenails. Then i used a pumas stone to smooth out any rough patches of skin. Then i carefully took the nail polish and began applying it to each of her toes.
i started with her left foot and as i was working on her big toe i felt her right foot nestle into my crotch and slowly move around. i’m sure i looked up at her in shock and she smiled back and said, “Concentrate!” i tried.
When the nails on her left foot were painted, she instructed me to blow on them so they would dry. It took a whole lot longer to dry the polish than i expected but i wasn’t about to complain. The entire time i was drying her toes her right foot was teasing my rock-hard cock. Eventually the nails were dry and i repeated the process on her right foot as her left played with my crotch.
As this was going on she talked about very mundane things. She asked about my major and classes and told me about hers and her plans for after graduation. She talked about her sorority and some of her sisters and the guy she had been dating. It was if what i was doing for her was a normal part of her everyday routine.
When she felt the polish on her right foot was dry she pulled it from my hands and took her left from my crotch. “You can go,” she said. i could barely stand because i had such a raging hard on. She noticed it, looked at her toes and told me that i had done an all right job for my first time. She stood up, turned around and said, as a reward i could kiss her ass. i didn’t hesitate. i immediately leaned down and kissed each cheek through her jeans.
As i was leaving she asked if i was going home that weekend. When i said no she told me to be back at her room at 10 Saturday morning. Don’t be late. Then she leaned in, kissed my cheek and whispered, “Don’t masturbate.”
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No Sex
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Posted:Nov 27, 2022 6:39 am
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2024 4:55 pm 6379 Views
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Rebecca’s feet weren’t really the first i ever kissed, licked or sucked but because she was the one who told me to do it, a very Dominating moment, it felt as though it was. In the days following being allowed to worship her feet i must have masturbated at least a couple of dozen times.
It was during this that i realized there really was no sex involved. Rebecca didn’t have sex when she had me worshiping her feet. There was no sex at the BDSM group demonstration i had attended. And yet the entire time those and other events occurred i was so horny i could explode.
Yes, i had forms of sex with earlier girlfriends to whom i projected Dominance. Mary had roughly fondled my balls and i wouldn’t dare stop her. She enjoyed it. Barb played that tease game with me, keeping me hard and horny and then jerking me off through my jeans. i’m sure she enjoyed that.
But those and other events weren’t really Dominance/submission. The girls were just doing what they felt at the time. They really weren’t plotting ways to use and control me per se. It wasn’t a real Dominant act.
So, when i had finally come to face actual Dominance and submission i suddenly realized that sex wasn’t involved. This floored me. i had sexualized all of my fantasies involving my submission; spent countless hours masturbating to them.
The following week when i had a chance to speak with Rebecca about this she seemed to be amused by my great realization. She explained that, as in any relationship, sex is part of a D/s pairing. But also like in any relationship, there is much, much more to D/s than just sex.
It seemed as though everything i had learned up to this point, everything i thought i knew about myself and this lifestyle, were, not so much wrong but rather incomplete. Now, my real education was about to begin.
Rebecca began by explaining that D/s and BDSM is more about control than just sex. Sex is used as a way to create and demonstrate that control. “Control a boy’s ability to cum and you control the boy.”
i asked about fetishes, such as my obvious foot and panty fetishes. She pointed out that using fetishes was a good way to help in training a submissive. That, of course, led to lengthy discussions about training. The way she put it, a Domme will train a submissive to do things that she wants how she wants. But that training is also part of the ongoing process. “In a way it’s how we keep a relationship fresh.”
This confused me even more and she gave various examples of how this would work. The first thing she stated was that not every Dominant and submissive would work as a couple. There are different wants, needs, desires, fetishes, expectations, etc. that each person brings to a relationship and if those don’t intersect or coincide enough then the relationship is doomed.
“It’s as important to understand what you want out of a D/s relationship as what the Domme wants,” she said. So that’s the first step. Figuring out what exactly i was seeking.
But i didn’t really know. i didn’t know enough about it all to have any great expectations. “That’s what learning is all about,” she said. Then she gave me a couple of things for homework. One was a list of BDSM and D/s activities that i was to look over and check off what i liked or even thought i’d like or be willing to try. i was also to “X” off any that i absolutely wouldn’t do.
Because i had no idea what a lot of those activities were, the other thing she gave me was a few pages stapled together that explained what each of those wants and needs and desires listed actually were.
As i was leaving her office she walked up beside me and whispered in my ear, “Try not to masturbate with this. In fact, try to have no sex at all this week.”
No sex. Just learning more about something that i felt i wanted but obviously really didn’t know enough about to understand if i wanted it or not. Damn, i didn’t know which bothered me more, not really having a clue or not being “allowed” to have sex.
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Learning
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Posted:Nov 26, 2022 1:26 pm
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2023 7:44 am 6534 Views
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After attending the BDSM group with Rebecca my fantasies were pretty obvious; She would Domme me and train me and fulfill all of my fetishes. It didn’t happen. In class she was polite but didn’t really pay much attention to me, calling on me only occasionally. This went on for a couple of weeks and every day i was sure she would ask me to see her in her office. She didn’t.
Finally, i went to her office under the pretense of asking about an assignment. Before i could say anything, she said, “I expected to see you sooner.” She had me shut her office door and have a seat. i started to sit on the floor but she told me i would probably be more comfortable in a chair but that if i really wanted to sit on the floor i should come around the desk and sit at her feet. i did.
By this point i had a throbbing erection and my mind was running wild. But nothing i was imagining or hoping for happened.
We talked about what had happened at the get together and she said i was welcome to attend them whenever i liked. She gave me a name and phone number of a man i had met there. She said that i should call him and let him know if i wanted to attend.
Eventually she turned to the subject of me. She asked me which of the things i saw would i like to experience. i admitted that the bondage didn’t really excite me but the candle wax did. i then told her of my other fantasies: being denied orgasm, my foot fetish, being invaded in the ass, piss, dirty panties and all the rest. She listened intently.
When i was finished (she had been asking questions along the way) she explained that she wasn’t going to do anything with me, especially while i was her student. She told me that she would help me learn and experience things but not until after the semester.
Out of the blue she asked me if i knew how to give a proper pedicure. i wasn’t even sure exactly what was involved with a pedicure and admitted that. “Well, you need to learn,” she replied.
She then slipped off her right shoe and showed me a set of perfectly painted and cared for toes. i couldn’t take my eyes off of them. “You can kiss this just this once,” she said and as i looked up she was grinning.
i took my time, kissing each toe and letting my tongue linger over them. Though this wasn’t the first time i’d actually had a woman’s foot even near my mouth it was by far the most erotic and the reality was even better than my fantasies. She chuckled a little at me and even moaned when i gave her big toe a quick suck. She then rolled her foot, exposing the arch and told me to “kiss it goodbye.” Again, i obliged.
When i stood up it was obvious that i had a raging hard on. She asked me when i had last cum and i told her it had been five days. She took hold of my cock through my jeans and felt it, squeezed it, stroked it a couple of times. “Good,” she said, “don’t cum yet.
It was tricky walking back to my dorm with my cock rock hard. i felt as though everyone walking through the green knew it, especially the girls. i was embarrassed. And aroused.
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The Professor
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Posted:Nov 26, 2022 1:22 pm
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2023 7:44 am 6816 Views
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i made it through my summer break, working, partying and dating a cute little blond named Sherry. She had just graduated high school and in the fall was off to college herself. We wasted little time together, finding wherever we could to enjoy each other’s company.
While i was having sex over the summer, it was all vanilla. Yes, i got to practice my oral skills for which Sherry was much appreciative. But she practiced hers on me as well and not once did she orgasm and i didn’t. But i really wasn’t complaining.
When the end of summer rolled around and i got back to college and started my classes, a lot of things were happening. No longer a freshman i got more involved in my areas of interest. This meant that not only was i getting into some classes other than large lectures but, in my case, i began working at the campus television station and writing some articles for the college newspaper.
This was all very exciting but the one class that i was most looking forward to was the one in human sexuality. It turned out to be pretty much what i had expected, an overview of the subject matter with an emphasis, as promised in the course description, of “different” behaviors. By different back in those days they meant mostly homosexuality but delved into other not-traditional aspects of sex.
The Professor was a woman in her 40s who encouraged students to call her by her first name, way ahead of the curve. Rebecca was, in most aspects, a fairly average woman with dark brown hair and green eyes. But hear her talk or get into a conversation with her and you knew she was very extraordinary.
Not only was she comfortable with who she was, she was also comfortable with who you were. Or even who you didn’t realize you were as yet.
Because of the basic nature of this course a lot of students who were questioning their sexuality were enrolled. i obviously didn’t fit in that classification. Still, i was one of the most willing to join in on class discussions and add my personal thoughts and insights to the lessons.
One day i was walking across campus and passed Rebecca. She said hello first and i politely stopped to respond in kind. She asked if i was enjoying her class and then asked me to stop by her office sometime.
A little perplexed because i couldn’t think of anything i had done to screw up or make her mad, i wandered into her office the following afternoon. After a few initial niceties Rebecca came right out with it. “You obviously aren’t gay and you don’t appear to be unsure about that. You aren’t in a major that requires this class. So why are you taking it?”
i hadn’t expected the question and was unprepared. i was embarrassed to tell the truth, that i was looking to learn more about Dominance and submission so i stammered some things about it being interesting and that it fit into my schedule but she wasn’t buying any of it.
Finally, after several minutes of going back and forth and her basically saying she didn’t believe me, i confessed. “i’m interested in some of the other areas that will be covered,” i admitted. When prodded for specifics i admitted my real reasons.
With her prompting me, once the gates opened i flooded her with my thoughts and ideals and what i was really trying to learn. She sat and listened. It was like a real confession in a way. As i told these things to someone else i began to feel a load lifted from my shoulders. Eventually she said she had to go to a meeting but that, if i was willing, she would like to continue the discussion at another time.
i met with her at her office again the following day. She gave me information that wasn’t in the book and picked away at all of my fantasies and fetishes. She wasn’t judgmental and was actually reassuring and encouraging. She said that there were a lot more people who shared my fetishes than i could imagine. “Because it’s out of the mainstream most people are afraid to admit it,” she said. i remember that line vividly because she used it in class when we began our discussion of some of these issues.
Eventually she gave me an address and told me when to be there. It was for a meeting of a bondage group in a nearby city. It took me about 45 very nervous minutes to get there but when i arrived i was surprised to see Rebecca there, dressed not for class but for the dungeon.
Everyone there was nice, saying hello and tossing about small talk. Several said that if i had any questions to please ask them. i was filled with so many that i didn’t know where to begin. Instead, i just took it all in.
The meeting was actually going to be a demonstration of some rope bondage and some candle play. Like the majority of the people there i was just in the audience. i made it a point to sit on the floor, a little off to the side. One of the Dommes there smiled and said i really didn’t have to sit there, that i could be comfortable on a chair. Rebecca replied for me, “I think he’s comfortable there.” i was.
As it turned out, Rebecca was one of the Dommes who was demonstrating that evening. Following some very intricate rope bondage by a large leather clad bear of a man, she came out with an older gentleman who was stripped naked and then strapped down on a table. She began to drip hot wax from candles onto this body, all the while explaining the concepts behind first the type of candle wax to use and then on such topics as where to drip and from what height for maximum pleasure.
Following the demonstrations Rebecca and i chatted a little bit. She said she wasn’t a hard core Domme and just did it on occasion. She actually had stepped in for this demonstration when the scheduled guest couldn’t make it.
Mostly she asked about how i felt as i watched things. Did some things scare me? i replied, “yes.” She answered, “That’s good. If you’re too willing to do anything you might end up getting hurt.” It was very sage advice that i didn’t always heed.
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The Professor
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Posted:Nov 26, 2022 11:29 am
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2024 4:55 pm 6790 Views
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i made it through my summer break, working, partying and dating a cute little blond named Sherry. She had just graduated high school and in the fall was off to college herself. We wasted little time together, finding wherever we could to enjoy each other’s company.
While i was having sex over the summer, it was all vanilla. Yes, i got to practice my oral skills for which Sherry was much appreciative. But she practiced hers on me as well and not once did she orgasm and i didn’t. But i really wasn’t complaining.
When the end of summer rolled around and i got back to college and started my classes, a lot of things were happening. No longer a freshman i got more involved in my areas of interest. This meant that not only was i getting into some classes other than large lectures but, in my case, i began working at the campus television station and writing some articles for the college newspaper.
This was all very exciting but the one class that i was most looking forward to was the one in human sexuality. It turned out to be pretty much what i had expected, an overview of the subject matter with an emphasis, as promised in the course description, of “different” behaviors. By different back in those days they meant mostly homosexuality but delved into other not-traditional aspects of sex.
The Professor was a woman in her 40s who encouraged students to call her by her first name, way ahead of the curve. Rebecca was, in most aspects, a fairly average woman with dark brown hair and green eyes. But hear her talk or get into a conversation with her and you knew she was very extraordinary.
Not only was she comfortable with who she was, she was also comfortable with who you were. Or even who you didn’t realize you were as yet.
Because of the basic nature of this course a lot of students who were questioning their sexuality were enrolled. i obviously didn’t fit in that classification. Still, i was one of the most willing to join in on class discussions and add my personal thoughts and insights to the lessons.
One day i was walking across campus and passed Rebecca. She said hello first and i politely stopped to respond in kind. She asked if i was enjoying her class and then asked me to stop by her office sometime.
A little perplexed because i couldn’t think of anything i had done to screw up or make her mad, i wandered into her office the following afternoon. After a few initial niceties Rebecca came right out with it. “You obviously aren’t gay and you don’t appear to be unsure about that. You aren’t in a major that requires this class. So why are you taking it?”
i hadn’t expected the question and was unprepared. i was embarrassed to tell the truth, that i was looking to learn more about Dominance and submission so i stammered some things about it being interesting and that it fit into my schedule but she wasn’t buying any of it.
Finally, after several minutes of going back and forth and her basically saying she didn’t believe me, i confessed. “i’m interested in some of the other areas that will be covered,” i admitted. When prodded for specifics i admitted my real reasons.
With her prompting me, once the gates opened i flooded her with my thoughts and ideals and what i was really trying to learn. She sat and listened. It was like a real confession in a way. As i told these things to someone else i began to feel a load lifted from my shoulders. Eventually she said she had to go to a meeting but that, if i was willing, she would like to continue the discussion at another time.
i met with her at her office again the following day. She gave me information that wasn’t in the book and picked away at all of my fantasies and fetishes. She wasn’t judgmental and was actually reassuring and encouraging. She said that there were a lot more people who shared my fetishes than i could imagine. “Because it’s out of the mainstream most people are afraid to admit it,” she said. i remember that line vividly because she used it in class when we began our discussion of some of these issues.
Eventually she gave me an address and told me when to be there. It was for a meeting of a bondage group in a nearby city. It took me about 45 very nervous minutes to get there but when i arrived i was surprised to see Rebecca there, dressed not for class but for the dungeon.
Everyone there was nice, saying hello and tossing about small talk. Several said that if i had any questions to please ask them. i was filled with so many that i didn’t know where to begin. Instead, i just took it all in.
The meeting was actually going to be a demonstration of some rope bondage and some candle play. Like the majority of the people there i was just in the audience. i made it a point to sit on the floor, a little off to the side. One of the Dommes there smiled and said i really didn’t have to sit there, that i could be comfortable on a chair. Rebecca replied for me, “I think he’s comfortable there.” i was.
As it turned out, Rebecca was one of the Dommes who was demonstrating that evening. Following some very intricate rope bondage by a large leather clad bear of a man, she came out with an older gentleman who was stripped naked and then strapped down on a table. She began to drip hot wax from candles onto this body, all the while explaining the concepts behind first the type of candle wax to use and then on such topics as where to drip and from what height for maximum pleasure.
Following the demonstrations Rebecca and i chatted a little bit. She said she wasn’t a hard core Domme and just did it on occasion. She actually had stepped in for this demonstration when the scheduled guest couldn’t make it.
Mostly she asked about how i felt as i watched things. Did some things scare me? i replied, “yes.” She answered, “That’s good. If you’re too willing to do anything you might end up getting hurt.” It was very sage advice that i didn’t always heed.
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The Library
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Posted:Nov 25, 2022 10:36 am
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2024 4:55 pm 6583 Views
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In college i made an amazing discovery. Today with the internet and all the access to information about D/s and BDSM and human sexuality that exists there for the reading it would seem rather lame. But back then discovering a couple of sections of the college library really enlightened my understanding of submission.
During my freshman year i took a psychology class that touched on a few points of human sexuality, including “deviant” behavior such as what i was fantasizing about and craving. i read and re-read that section and then checked out the reference materials to which the author referred. i thought, if there are books out there then perhaps some exist in our library.
i was hoping to find a section dedicated to books on Dominance and submission but this was before they started rolling out in the late 80s and early 90s. Instead, i found information in the psychology and human sexuality books that filled a large portion of one of the floors.
Sometimes i would sit in the library and read the books, being sure to find a secluded space where i wouldn’t be easily seen if i became aroused and began touching myself. Other times i would check out a book, if it wasn’t too obvious what it was all about, and take it back to my dorm to read.
A lot of the information was helpful and some was pretty condemning. There were authors who would have you believe that any person who wanted to be tied up or spanked or controlled in any way was a sick, perverted soul who needed extensive psychiatric help. These were probably all Freudians and i found that fairly quickly i could tell and not waste my time.
Other books provided mixed information. Some of it was enlightening while other books just seemed to repeat the same information that i had read before. While that was frustrating i could understand it. There really hadn’t been a whole lot written on the subject and very little actual research, generally based on findings of Dr. Kinsey.
Mostly i would rummage through works, plucking out references and then searching for them. i discovered as early as the Kama Sutra that there were indications of impact play, hitting and biting for pleasure. i read Fanny Hill, Venus in Furs and some of the works by de Sade and found them a bit lacking. But there was enough in my readings to keep me going, to keep me searching.
i made perhaps my most profound discovery outside the library, though. i was looking through classes that would be available for the fall semester of my sophomore year and stumbled across a human sexuality class that would meet a requirement for graduation. Curious, i went to the psychology department and found a copy of the syllabus. i was surprised to find the textbook being used was one that i had read through (at least the good parts) in the library.
When it came time to sign up for classes i had penciled that class in. my adviser wasn’t so sure i should take it but since it fit in my schedule, including work, and was a requirement, so i had it on my schedule. That was the good news. The bad news was that i would have to wait all summer for the class to begin.
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College Begins
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Posted:Nov 24, 2022 1:43 pm
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2024 4:55 pm 5876 Views
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Somewhere in the back of my mind i was really hoping that going away for college would make all of my submissive confusion go away. i thought i would find exactly what i was looking for even though i didn’t know what it was; or where to look.
While i had learned a lot in high school about submission, more than i realized at the time, i still felt completely lost. i knew that i was “happiest” when i was being told what to do by a Woman. i both enjoyed and yet hated being teased and denied orgasm. But even without being told i would do it to myself from time to time.
Where i went to college a lot of , especially freshman in my dorm, would go home for the weekends. i did as well but not nearly as often as others. There would be times when i felt as though i was the only person around in our wing of the building. That was OK. i would spend the time thumbing through Playboy and Penthouse and jerking off, getting as close as i could to cumming without actually doing it. i didn’t know it but i was enjoying edging.
i met a girl and though it wasn’t really dating, we kind of hung out a lot that first semester. She was somewhat dominant in that she would be the one to initiate anything we did. If i asked her if she wanted to eat lunch together or to to a movie or study or anything, she would blow me off. But if she wanted to do something it was as though she expected me to jump at the opportunity. i usually did.
One night she came over to my dorm room without calling. It was late and i was already in bed. i figured i was one of the few guys who hadn’t gone home that weekend so i didn’t bother putting on anything over the boxers i was sleeping in. i was a bit surprised and embarrassed to see her there.
She let herself in and commented on my shorts, then threw her arms around my neck and started kissing me. We quickly made it to bed where the kissing turned into touching. my boxers came off before any of her clothes, including her shoes. Being naked while she was fully clothed was both embarrassing and exciting. i remember being as hard as a rock.
Just as i got her shirt and bra off she asked if i would help with her shoes. i did, getting down at the foot of the bed and untying and sliding them off of her. i then pulled off her socks and i have no idea why other than some crazy internal wiring, i kissed each of her toes.
This made her giggle. i apologized, thinking i had tickled her but she said she kind of liked it and i did it again. She then had me slide down her panties. i began kissing my way up her legs and when i got to her pussy i kissed it. With a moan of encouragement i began licking her, finding her clit and working it with my lips and tongue until she came.
She told me that she had never had a guy eat her before and i felt proud to be the first. We talked about some of our experiences, sexual experiences as we lay together. She would touch my cock and balls and played with them a little but i never once asked her to do anything, to give me a hand job or to put it in her. i just laid there, allowing her to do whatever she wanted.
Eventually she dozed off holding my cock in her hand. i managed to pull the blanket over us and lay there beside her, relishing my erection in her hand. She woke a few hours later, jarring me awake, surprised that she had fallen asleep. She looked at the clock and said she had to get back to her dorm. i begged her not to go, pointing out that while it was past curfew she would have to sneak out of my dorm. If she waited until morning she wouldn’t have to sneak at all.
When she still insisted that she had to leave i told her i’d eat her pussy again. This was tempting but she insisted on leaving but we made a “date” to meet the next day.
We hung out and watched some TV. She didn’t say a thing about what had happened the previous night. But after we ate supper together she said she wanted to head back to my room.
There we got naked and i ate her to two orgasms. Since i didn’t have a condom (and neither, she said, did she) all i got was a hand job. But that was OK. It felt amazing.
She put on my robe and i stayed naked. We sat and talked and listened to some music. i asked if she wanted me to kiss her toes again. She did and so i not only kissed them but sucked on them as well. As i was working on her left foot, having started with her right, she began using that right foot to play with my cock.
i kissed my way back up her legs and ate her pussy. She jerked me off again and then got dressed and left.
We repeated similar scenes through that first semester. After the Christmas break i went looking for her in her dorm only to learn that she had not returned.
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Confusion
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Posted:Nov 24, 2022 5:51 am
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2024 4:55 pm 6583 Views
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Through high school and into college i wasn’t really sure what i was looking for. It was a long time ago, before the Internet and easy access to writing, photos and videos about D/s. i didn’t really even have a term for submissive. In my fantasies i was always “beneath” and being used by a powerful Female. i was always doing something for Her pleasure or finding myself being punished in some way for some misdeed.
But in reality all of my relationships, all of my dating, were pretty straightforward. I was the boy, and she was the girl and we would date. i would be very polite, hold open doors and such, always let her go first and be as chivalrous as i could be. What i really wanted was for my date to tell me what she wanted. Instead, it was always this dance where she would pretend she didn’t want to have anything to do with anything sexual but yet would engage in it, being touching or fucking, with a passion.
Perhaps my confusion explains why i dated so many different women through the last of high school and into college. i was looking for one who would Dominate me but really didn’t know that. i know i was dropping hints. i was always asking my dates what they wanted to do, if they were happy with what was going on. i’m sure a few of those dates were more than a little turned off by it all.
i remember once during my junior year in high school some mutual friends (as seemed to be the case back then) informed me that a rather popular, very pretty girl named Cindy wanted to go out with me. She was a senior and had been in both the Homecoming and Prom courts so i was more than happy to oblige.
The date itself was pretty nondescript. i took her to a movie which we both seemed to enjoy. Afterward i asked if she wanted to get something to eat but i must have said or done something to really change her mind about dating me in the first place because all she wanted to do was go home. So, i obliged.
On Monday those same mutual friends came up to me and asked what had gone wrong and for the life of me i had no clue. All i could figure is that i had said or done something to piss her off. i never did learn what.
There were others i dated who i hoped would take control, but none did. The closest any came was a girl two classes behind me named Nancy. She was pretty but not beautiful the way of her older sister (who was the Homecoming Queen in the class before mine).
i sensed that she being the younger sister sort of lived in the shadow of the very successful and popular older sister. i found this to be true even with her parents. Which was a shame because Nancy was a very smart, attractive and funny girl. She had everything going for her. Maybe it was because she didn’t have to be as perfect as her sister or maybe she just didn’t care to be, but she never got involved with the types of things that had propelled her older sister to prominence in our little high school.
Since Nancy had “a mind of her own” she tended to use it. But she was young and inexperienced at things (aren’t we all in high school). Still, she dictated what we did together more than the other girls i had been dating. Even when it came to fooling around. Not that it went very far but in looking back at it she never once touched my cock with her hand while i would feel and even suck on her breasts (which from her moans i concluded she enjoyed) and fingered her (likewise with the moans).
Of course, D/s isn’t entirely about sex but when you’re a teenage boy it seems as though everything is entirely about sex. Nancy, though, would do things that had nothing to do with sex but exerted a sort of control over me.
For example, there would be times when we would be walking through the halls before school and she would duck into a classroom to say hi to someone and tell me (not ask me) to wait. I would. There were a couple of times i was late for homeroom because she never came back out and i just stood there, like an obedient puppy, waiting for her.
At the time i really didn’t know why i was waiting there in the hall. I was a senior, she was a sophomore. Yet i stood there in my confusion, waiting for her to come back out and see how well i had obeyed her command. i only wish back then i understood why i was doing it.
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Experimenting
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Posted:Nov 23, 2022 8:03 am
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2024 4:55 pm 6540 Views
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As i made my way through the last couple of years of high school i was very confused. Granted i was dating girls, in fact i was dating some very pretty and popular girls, including Homecoming and Prom Queens, but i really didn’t know what i expected from those relationships.
Sure, like most guys that age i wanted some form of sex. And at times i got it. But as i was growing into my teenage body i was realizing that what i really wanted wasn’t the norm that was projected and talked about. i really wanted to be submissive.
After my tease and deny experiences with Barb, i began to do it some to myself. i didn’t realize i was actually edging (there was no Internet back then and no mainstream literature touched on the concepts of submission). But i found that if i didn’t allow myself to cum as often as i would have liked that the orgasm was much more powerful when i eventually did cum. Plus there was that feeling, that aching fullness in my balls that was both unpleasant but at the same time very erotic.
i began experimenting with some other things as well; particularly my ass. At first it was a finger, then two, and eventually i was finding things to put up there. Again, i would hurt, at least at first, but the pain was somehow translated into pleasure. i found that using a hairbrush or a marker and fucking my ass would make me very horny.
Around this same time i discovered the pain and joy of clothes pins. Like just about everyone my first experience was with having one snap and pinch my finger. But up in my room, behind a locked door as i would push things into my ass and not let myself cum, i began attaching them to different parts of my body. i quickly decided that my favorite places were my cock, my balls and my nipples. i would put them on and try to see how long i could keep them on. And of course, i learned that putting them on and wearing them for a while was nothing compared to the feeling of pain that came when they were removed.
i didn’t like the pain. The pain wasn’t “getting me off” in any way. But i was experimenting. As i was experimenting i was fantasizing. Always in my fantasies i was submissive to a woman, usually a girl from school or the neighborhood though sometimes it would just be someone i made up in my head. In the fantasies i always had to be punished for some reason. It really didn’t matter what i had done but i would find myself with the clothespins on my nipples, something up my ass and not letting myself cum as i played with myself.
From early on i was fantasizing about pee. i’m not sure exactly when it started but i do remember as far back as grammar school thinking about it. And so eventually i began experimenting with my own pee. First was just peeing on my hands and feet and even my chest while i was in the shower. Eventually i found myself laying down in the tub, putting my hips up over my body and peeing onto my face and even into my mouth.
All of this experimentation really wasn’t getting me what i really wanted, what i really needed but it was, in a way, preparing me for what i would become. i was learning to accept the things that a Dominant Woman would someday do to me. And i was actually liking it.
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